We are 6 days away from our 25th anniversary and my wife said she's not sure she still loves me .and asked

Question

me what have I done special that was just for her . If I've ever needed help I need it now . She says I'm a good husband , good father, and I'm a good man.and I love her with all my heart I always have and I always will . But she told me she didn't love me anymore . And this is destroyed me. I can't stop crying , I've tried and tried to make things better . She has put up a brick wall and ignored all my attempts . I'm not even sure what the problem is . But I know my life without her is over .I can't even imagine how it would be without her . we have two children and the youngest one just graduated high school . I can't understand anything that would cause her to throw away 25 years of marriage this will destroy the family . we've worked all our lives . I said look what we have . She told me we have nothing it's all material .I know it's not our sex this has always been special between us.so I'm asking for ideas on what I could do just for her that is very special under1,000

Answer 1

She may be going through a crisis, I think she is just bored. You have to remind her why she fell in love with you to begin with. You can find good tips on www.lovingyou.com
Good luck and suggest counseling. Do not make divorce easy for her, she just needs a reminder of your love.

Answer 2

Take it back to the beginning...do you remember the first date you had or the first kiss you shared Where was it? What first attracted you to her and vice versa...It is hard not to fall in love with someone all over again when those feelings from the beginning are brought back to life. If she loves flowers order some flowers from Proflowers.com and enter glenn in the radio microphone place (it will get you a great deal) and send her flowers for each year or each day or each time you think about her. (plus these flowers will bloom in the vase and last a good week or 2) put on the card a special thing that you shared many years ago...if she likes the ocean give her a sea shell and then tell her you are going to the beach...or on a walk...Make it simple...it will be hard to get her to open up but you can do it...simple often works best...Talk to your children to help you recreate the first date or the place you proposed and help them be a part of it too. I hope it works for you...Try the book "the seven principles for making marriage work" by John M Gottman and Nan silver. It has really helped my husband and I...

Answer 3

I'm really sorry. And I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. She has already made a decision. All she's doing right now is find a way to fix the blame on you for her selfishness.

Let's see if I can guess, okay? She's nearing 50. She's changed her clothes, she's hanging out with her friends all the time, and leaves you to do all the heavy lifting in your relationship.

What you really have on your hands is a teenager walking around in a woman's body. It's all about her, 24/7. And, evidently, her plans no longer include you.

First things first. I can almost guarantee that she's having an affair with somebody who is making her feel young again. Don't speculate. Just hire a detective to follow her on one of her girl's nights out. Find out where the money is going. Quietly amass an indisputable mountain of evidence and then lower the boom. But do it quickly. If she's firing this shot across your bow, then that means she's ready to move.

The next thing to do is recover your own dignity. You have been dealt a terrible blow. But grovelling to her with a "gift under $1,000" will not help one cotton-picking bit. All this little bribe will do is destroy whatever last shreds of respect she might have had for you.

You also owe it to your children to have an adult conversation with them. Not a weepy, how-could-this-happen conversation, but a factual discussion with them of what is happening. They will respect you for coming to them. Do not ask them to take sides. The only reason you're telling them is so they understand what is going on.

Then divorce her. Be decisive about it. Do not let it drag on for months or even years. Just make a clean break, divide up the assets fairly and move on with your life. Despite all your grief, you have to realize that whatever was great about your marriage is now irrevocably lost. You must now decide how to reclaim your self-worth. After all, you are a good man, a good father, and a good husband. Somewhere out there is a good woman, a good wife, and a good mother waiting to find somebody like you.

In short, be brave. Be decisive. And most of all, be a man.

Answer 4

well if you think that u already did all you could think about there is lways something more. if she says what u got is material , don't buy her anything. maybe u should brig her in a hospital where people have cancer and don't have nobody, maybe she ll recognize how important is have somebody. if u have a good relationship with ur kids and they are old enouth to understand..try to explain the situation. My father died when i was 20, i felt so bad i am pretty sure your kids don't want u to leave the house and they will help u.

maybe she is confused...i don't wanna say she has somebody else..talk to her you should ask her what's wrong...
if you are a good man father husband..why would she leave u?

you have to understand also that with so many years of marriage respect takes love place....don't cry..women don't like to see men cry..don't like isecure men. be strong. talk to her.

if nothing helps just the time wil help u.

DONT CRY BE STRONG.

Answer 5

Surprise her with a mini second honeymoon. Plan a long weekend away just the two of you to a romantic place where you can be alone together and talk without the distractions of everyday life. You can easily find cheap deals on travel and airfare. Last year, my husband and I took a mini-vaca together for 3 days to the Bahamas for under $1000 (not including spending cash). Cheap Caribbean.com and Cheapusagetaway.com has some great last minute deals and specials.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Is there somewhere special you can take her? Like where you had your first date? Something special that only YOU can do for her? Maybe you and her get out of town just for one night? Not necessarily somewhere expensive...but sometimes, when I can't stand looking at my fiance anymore, we go on a drive together and just being out of the house and on the open road can really promote some good conversation and we talk about our relationship. My guess is she needs to see you do something "movie-romantic" that shows you still see her like you did 25 years ago. Even if it's not expensive, it can still be dramatic. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 7

Didn't you hear her when she said your marriage is materialistic. And you want to buy her something???? I think she may have been feeling this way for a long time and now the the youngest is going to college she feels she needs to move on. Perhaps you can ask her how long she's been feeling this way. Maybe if you two just go away together and spend some quality time she may feel different but don't put any hopes on it.

Answer 8

You have my deepest sympathies for I have been there also. This can be some of the darkest days of your life. They certainly were for me. It is difficult to say what the causes are. They can be many. Counseling can help if both want it. One thing I can assure you of is it is not the end of the world. Grieving may take awhile but believe it or not there is a wonderful life out there. I wish I had a better answer.

Answer 9

I think your marriage has a much bigger issue going on and no amount of money or gift is the answer. You wife doesn't FEEL something from you and you need to deal with that. The gift your trying to buy will only sugar coat a much bigger probem that should be addressed IMMEDIATELY. I think you should take the $1000 and put it towards marriage counseling. Sit your wife down and ask her is she having an affair. If she denys....I dont care if it take all day...talk! talk! talk! and MOST importantly....LISTEN!

Answer 10

the very fact that you put a price tag on this after she said she wanted more than material things is a clue that you dont' havea clue. a lot of people define love as that feeling they had in the beginning...and a lot of people break up when the last kid leaves the nest. Your relationship has been as parents for so long...now you have to redefine it. call her from work, bring flowers home...pick her up at lunch unexpectedly, cook dinner...remind her why she fell in love with you in the first place.