Why does it seem like I just like to keep myself depressed. I keep talking to the guy I'm trying to get over. I'm trying to be his friend, but I always do something stupid like ask him for a kiss, which he says no to sometimes, but yes to other times. It sucks too cause there is this other guy I should focus more attention on cause he likes me and wants to get to know me, and hopefully develop more, but for some reason I keep choosing to hang out with the guy that just kills my heart. What sucks most is that my friends are his friends, so it's harder to avoid him. So what do I do!
2006-06-27 07:23:01 · 12 answers · asked by Carrie P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your sticking point is that you are not certain the relationship is completely over.
Sometimes when you ask the guy kisses you and this mixed message is giving you hope enough hope to keep holding out, even though there are much more viable options.
The crux is, why does he sometimes kiss you?
Is it out of pity. (i.e. he knows you love him and are hurting and does not know how better to handle your pressure)
or
Is it out of desire. (in which case why would he feel this only some of the time)
Until you stopping hoping that he desires / has feelings for you, you are unlikely to stop hankering after him.
You know that you are subjecting yourself to repeated rejection and that it is damaging you. But stop beating yourself up for that, it does not make you weak, or easy - it just makes you someone clinging to a dream.
If you decide that his are pity kisses - then try to remember the last time you kissed someone when your heart was not in it. Now ask yourself whether you truly can bear him to be having that kind of reticent thoughts when he is kissing you back. Hopefully this will dicourage you from trying.
Everyone's advice is good. Get out, start enjoying life, start acting like you don't care any more, stop initiating conversations with him, if he talks feign indifference and always end the conversation first. Hopefully your sudden disinterest will intreague him - if not then at least you'll have no more cringing memories
2006-06-27 23:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by del-d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you can get over someone who you are spending so much energy trying to be friends with. Sure, your friends and his friends are the same and you are going to run into each other but instead of being friends just be civil and don't spend time catching up or talking to each other. There is a lot more to do than spend time with him and the more you do the less time, as you say, you have for any other relationship. It is almost like your punishing yourself by continuing to invest in a relationship with no hope rather than reward yourself and take a chance to find real love in the world. Face it, you've seen other people do just what your doing and you want to just knock some sense into their head and make them see how silly they are being. Do the same for yourself and accept that you deserve to find love and that can't happen till you allow yourself to not be in any type of relationship with this guy. Forget being friends or anything else with him, then you will be able to find love again.
2006-06-27 15:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that~ I had to create a plan for myself. As stupid as it sounds, I had to make up what I refer to as a "road map". I call it road-map because I often found myself getting lost whenever this fool was around. The map was made of a few solid and sound new behaviors I would practice that I hadn't done before. For instance, when I found my mind wondering off thinking about the jerk I immediately would read an affirmation book I purchased. (And yes I carried it everywhere I went..) Also when faced with him I made myself think, think, think..Telling myself over and over again that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, did I want to be insane or did I want to be wondrous as I was meant to be? It hurt, felt like I was driving in Europe for a short while but girlfriend, I am wondrous today!! Funny, when I put these and other new practices into play guess who came calling..yep,, yours truly!! But in my new found grace I choose to walk the higher ground and every since only wished him to find what I have found, a good life elsewhere~
Hang in there!! It is the small stuff that sounds, even feels stupid that will bring you the much needed relief your after!! Keep your side of the street clean, take good care of you and remind yourself often this too shall pass~
2006-06-28 03:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by joanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are emotional masochists by nature. Why are you trying to get over him? You obviously like him a lot so why not just try to get closer to him instead? It will probably hurt to stop hanging around him more so I wouldn't advise that. Why not try talking to him about how you feel? Maybe he will help you get over him - by making sure to give you enough attention so you won't get too sad but making it more brotherly/friendly rather than romantic. If he's your true friend he should be willing to help you.
2006-06-27 14:33:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask him for a kiss. You're cute enough to get other guys, so lose old mr. convenience. His wondrous man meat should be thrust upon another fertile crescent. Seek other seed droppers and you will flourish in a parade of manly goodness. And won't be so damned depressed.
2006-06-27 14:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Playing this game is not fair to you and it's not fair to him. If you're trying to get over him, you would avoid him..it is that easy....it's all in choice. Stop this ride and climb off, hon....there are too many guys and many more hearts you can break (assuming that pic is you, there's no problem attracting another bf). Move on with your life and allow him to move on with his.
2006-06-27 14:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on. Surrounding yourself with negativity is bound to keep you depressed. Try focusing on someone else that you have interest in not someone who has interest for you but you have none in him. Bet your ex will get jealous. You can kill two birds with one stone.
2006-06-27 14:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by mackey208 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You snap out of it and realize your playing yourself and making a fool of yourself. Your wasting time and brain cells. Get some balls girl and pull some pride out of yourself.
2006-06-27 14:29:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby girl, why do you want to hang on to something that won't return it's original form? let him go. you have to in order for you to live.
2006-06-27 14:32:24 · answer #9 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give the nice guy a chance and take it from there leave the other loser that does not value what your worth.
2006-06-27 14:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by QUEEN OF LOS ANGELES 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋