Does this confuse anyone but me?

Question

Okay-knowing that I may be crucified for this question; here goes:

This confuses me: I hear a number of gay folks express their discontent with the way that they are treated in this society. Words like equality and rights often come up. But I also see a number of gay folks participate in activities that make them look just plain silly; an example is being in drag (obnoxious drag) at a gay pride parade.

Why would a group that so badly desires equality put themselves "out there" in such an obnoxious and unflattering way. I don't know of any other group, who desires equality, that does this.

I did thnk about shriners and their over the top silliness at parades but then quickly realized they don't cry for equality nor have the parades just for them.

And just for the record, I am not homophobic. No, I can't say "some of my best friends are gay." I'm just an old guy trying to figure the world out. And if I have offended you, I apologize.

Answer 1

I don't think it's your intention, but you are basically seeing them as a stereotyped group, instead of individuals.

From your picture I take it you are caucasian. If I were to make the following statement "If white people believe that all people are created equal, why do they so often make racist remarks?" You could certainly see the flaw in this question/argument. That's the same with your question, your clumping everyone together.

There are plenty of gay people who have never been to a parade, and plenty of straight people who have. Imagine if we judged heterosexuals according to Mardi Gras and Spring Break.

People are people, and the sooner you and I become adept at seeing the individual we will be able to answer questions like these as soon as they come up in our heads.

Answer 2

First I am a gay man. I am what I would consider conservative by nature and have high morals. When I attend Pride events I see all these outrageous costumes. Yes, I have thought that they were too much. However let's look at the event. It is PRIDE. It is a celebration of Diversity. The acceptance of all, not just one type of gay man, lesbian, transgender etc...but all! So I say let everyone celebrate with all their costumes and flare.
Now if you think that only gays where these outrageous costumes go to Rio for Carnival or New Orleans for Mardi Gras. They have just as many outrageous costumes and just as much fun. Again Pride is a celebration in the same form as these other events. People like to celebrate in costumes. It's been going on for generations. It's a chance to put on a mask and be someone you are not typically, allowing one to do what one would not do typically. So, stop looking at these people as freaks. They are out there to have a good time. i am sure most hold nice respectable positions out there in society.

Answer 3

>>>Why would a group that so badly desires equality put themselves "out there" in such an obnoxious and unflattering way. I don't know of any other group, who desires equality, that does this.<<<

Well said!


Amidst all this talk of "discrimination" and "unfair treatment" against gays is this fact:

If taken as a separate minority group in the US, gays are the most affluent minority group in the country -- by far.

Their average income isn't just way higher than that for other minorities -- it's significantly higher than the median income for the whole country!

Gays are also much more likely than the population in general to hold high-paying professional jobs, to hold college degrees, to hold advanced-level college degrees, and to take vacations abroad.

All of these statistics make me wonder -- where is all this "mistreatment" and "discrimination" that gays always b i t c h about?

Answer 4

It's a good question with good explanation as to why you're confused - so I hope you don't get crucified for it. I took no offense.

My suggestion:

The more outrageous dress sense (and drag) is just a caricature of the freaks we were (and still are, in some quarters) deemed to be, in the days when any homosexual act was a criminal offence.

The Stonewall remembrance marches (with placards reading "Good As You" hence GAY) won gay Americans the rights to be able to drink liquor in congregation & to openly say "I love you" (with proof) - without fear of prosecution. These were the basis for what became Gay Pride.

You state your view that it is "unflattering" and "obnoxious" - and I can understand that to your eyes, it is. Consider though that in this age, gay couples have to fight the in-laws for primacy, following the death of their beloved, or the scrutiny and ridicule of their peers at work or the hatred and (occasional) violence borne from prejudice. 36 years on from the original marches.

Small wonder then that this one (annual) expression of identity can appear to some as being overborne. But the GLBTQ community is not so dull as to wish to march in blue overalls and felt caps!

Answer 5

no you won't be crucified for this, no one has been great enough ever since... to be worthy of that. maybe to you the most conspicuous are those that look different to you, or act in a manner that you do not understand. Maybe if you looked harder, there are homosexual men who do not do drag, and who are also not part of the activism that you talk about. There are homosexual men who just want to lead a peaceful life without being questioned, mocked at, or derided for who they are. And simply because a lot of us are inconspicuous, it is difficult for anyone to say that we are not "normal", or "we look gay". Let's face it, normalcy is subjective. What seems silly to you seems to makes sense to someone else, and vice versa. And the equality that we talk about isn't just about our rights, but also about being able to walk freely, comfortable the way we are (you'd be surprised that there are so many shades to being gay) - drag or no drag. We ask for equality so that tomorrow we may not have to answer questions like this.

Answer 6

Well shriners are wanting equality because they have it already and I do agree they look pretty stupid on their little cars. But they enjoy it so what's it to me. Every parade has its odd element to someone and it doesn't hurt anyone. That is how some of these people live so why not be in a parade as who they are. No offense taken, you were simply asking, no problem with that.

Answer 7

I agree with you completely. I am gay and I never identified with some of the unflattering behavior that is seen by some people who are gay at events like gay parades. I do believe, however, that what we see is only a small portion of the gay population. They just happen to be the loudest and more visible.

Answer 8

The word PRIDE means just that. Have PRIDE in who you are no matter what anyone thinks or says. When you walk around in life worrying about what people think or may say about you. You end up cheating yourself out of life's pleasures, fun and excitement.

You may wear something that someone thinks is totally silly. But it is how you express yourself. So dressing in drag is how they express them self. And let me tell you drag queens are some of the most interesting and fun people to be around. There so creative and full of life.

THEY KEEP IT REAL BY BEING THEM SELF!

What's wrong with the world today?

To many people care what others think of them and that is why so many people have so much drama. Be yourself or you find yourself by yourself.

Answer 9

You know what? I'm gay, but--and I know I'M going to be crucified for this, but--I agree. It seems like the only homosexuals that are making themselves known are the promiscuous ones who just want to party. I mean... that's all fine and dandy, but what happened to everyone else, the ones who are serious and a little more intelligent? This is why I'm one of the few gay people I know who actually don't support that parade.

Answer 10

because thier the ones getting picked on , the shriners aint, they want equel rights because they dont see why , who they prefer sexually is a reason to get discriminated against , they are after all ppl just like us . they have gay pride parades to be heard , noticed saying here i am , and im not going away . [and no i am not gay nor does the idea of being gay do anything to me but make me puke]