Did you regret getting married right out of high school?

Question

I want to marry my boyfriend of a year and a half. He is 22 years old with a full time job. I work part time at a law firm but I am still in high school. I plan to graduate then we will get married and I will start college classes while he works. I know we will work, he is the best man ever and I am not a party child like most people so it is no problem for me to settle down because I already am. Neither of us drink or smoke. We just like to go out and eat and act like kids, have fun. Do you think its a bad idea? Was it for you? Why?

Answer 1

I don't understand why so many women always say to "get your career going first". First off, not every woman wants a "career". A job, sure. But, going off to college or starting a career is not for everyone.
I didn't get married until I was 25, so I can't answer your question from personal experience. But, I know several people who got married right out of high school, and they have mixed results. Some marriages didn't last, others are still going stronger than ever. Whether or not a marriage will last is up to the commitment level of the couple involved- not in an age or station in life. If you are ready to get married, and you both are ready to put in the work involved to make a marriage last, then I say go for it. If you have any doubts, then you may want to step back and think about some things.

One piece of advice on the side here, should you decide to get married soon- surround yourself with people who are happy in their marriages. Don't let people like the sour dude several responses up put a damper on you and your hubby's happiness, or give you a reason to doubt your commitment. Best of luck to you sweetie, in whatever you decide.

Answer 2

It does make it harder. I joined the Navy after high school and met my husband a year later. We got married right away even though we were only 19. We had good jobs (he's a Marine) with a stable income, we don't party or drink much, we grew out of that in high school, we were more mature than most people are age and we knew we loved each other. It worked for us but it has been very difficult. It's a very serious commitment. Remember, the first person you marry is who God will always see as your spouse. Take marriage seriously and if can't imagine life without him, go for it. Expect a struggle though. The statistics are against you as they were me. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage and are expecting our second child but it doesn't work out for the majority of people.

Answer 3

I married right after graduating, graduated in June married in December. I did not give myself a chance to travel, to meet other people and mature through experiences. So, I felt closed in, he nagged a lot, his mother became a nuisance and I left. Later, after hindsight set in, I could have settled, but the "ifs" of life should be lived so there are not "ifs" to make you bitter. Now, in my mid-forties, I find that ten years ago, I would have been ready for marriage, but having never divorced, I have to tend to that little matter before marrying the man I've lived with for 18 years.

Don't just wait, live life as a single person, so you can appreciate and compare the differences when you're married. Don't settle too soon. See some of the world, it has a way of opening your eyes.

Answer 4

I got married right out of high school- it didn't last long and ended in a nasty divorce. What's the rush? Why not continue to date for a few more years, finish college, be YOU instead of someone's wife or child for a while.. you can maintain your relationship with him and if he truly loves you, he'll understand your desire to wait. If you're on here asking for validation that it's ok to get married, you're subconsciously having problems with it yourself. Settling down too young could be the biggest mistake you ever make.. waiting a few years until you're sure he's the one and then getting married could be the best thing you ever do. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 5

I don't know either of you so I couldn't be of much help. Just be responsible with your decision and don't do anything you might regret later. The best of luck to you both.

I married my husband when I was 19. I was like you, not a party animal. Settling down for the both of us wasn't a big change. I'm happy to say that 5 years later we are still happily married and I have no regrets.

Answer 6

Well I got married out of high school I didn't regret that as much as I just regret not getting to live my life as a single woman before I got married I am divorced now after over 25 yrs of marriage to him and 3 wonderful kids later with no regrets cause if I didn't marry him then I wouldn't have my great kids and wonderful 10mth old grandson...

Answer 7

I didn't meet the true love of my life until I was 28, which is why I married at 29. Maybe for other people it's different, but when I was 17 or 18, I had no idea what true love was. I still had a lot of growing up / living to do.

Answer 8

Damn, that sounds boring. No offense, but if you're this pure, how do you suppose you'll be able to see the signs when your children are breaking the rules? They will. It always skips a generation or two. That rebellion is in there somewhere. hee hee. I'm just messin' with ya.

Everyone is always in a hurry to get married. Why rush? Live together a while. Try just two or three years and if you still want it as bad as you do now, you'll have your answer.

Answer 9

I got married when I was 19 to my highschool sweeteheart and it did not last more than 8 yrs. and 3 kids. But I think my husband was just not ready for it. He just never seemed to grow up. You seem to have your head together so maybe it just might work but then don't be in too big of a hurry. You are very young and have plenty of time.

Answer 10

Major regret here!!! Get your career going, first and foremost! Before any children are involved. Take on some responsibilities together before you make a comittment to him. That way you will have the chance to know how he handles stress and financial situations. Anything that you can think of to get rid of any stress you both may experience in the future, do it now because marriage is forever, and divorce is very, very ugly.