I have already talk to police awhile back on this matter according to the state of NE she is of legal age to have consensual sex, I don't think this is right, this man is much old and has targeted my daughter, she is due Oct 1st 2006, I'm still responsible for her until she is 19yrs, to make it worst, he gave her an S.T.D.,if anyone has any referrals or advise please let know I'm at a loss right now and I would be so grateful for some help.
2006-06-27 06:33:25 · 21 answers · asked by paula m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just a note about me, I'm Divorced and my Daughter live with her father not to for from me, and when my daughter had to break this news to me we where in a counseling session that we have be attending for over 6yrs now, the good thing is my daughter went to the counselor first because she couldn't cope with this alone, I did notice a change in her last yr, I realised she was needing some guidance and spoke to her father and the counselor, we felt that if we showed her how to find heathy solutions to her problem was the best we as parent could offer her, I thought somethings she was going through was nornal and I had to trust that she would make good choices, I had know Idea that this was even close to what I expected, she is in preteen preg classes and has a job, also had the option to give this baby up for adoption, she is keeping the baby and is working real hard to be new mother,I haven't had a lot of problems with her excepting her responsibility but now this guy has made contact.
2006-06-27 08:01:52 · update #1
In some state's, 16 is the legal age of consent, how ever talk to a DA (not cops) about possible charges of indecent liberties with a minor. She is still considered a minor becuse she is under 18 fed. law. Also when you talk to the DA mension a PFA or protection from abuse order. as an adult you have a responablity to look after your daughter and a PFA (A.K.A restraining order) will force him to stay away from your daughter or face jail time.
2006-06-27 06:42:42 · answer #1 · answered by honest guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all TRUST me Im not bashing you but where were you when they were obviously doing the "act"? I mean unless your daughter is just not nice I would assume they had been seeing each other and led up to this, right? I mean at some point YOU as the parent has to accept responsibility. And know that I mean no disrespect or to try to hurt your feelings but way to often as parents we turn a BLIND eye to our children's behavior, Ive also done this of course my daughter's not pregnant but then again I don't let her go far and Im calling every 15, 30 , 45 min not in that order actually but she NEVER knows when I'll call and give her 5 or 10 min to be home.I do this BECAUSE I also made the mistake of letting my 17 yo son have to much freedom and he and his gf are now expecting their child and she is now 19 SO (see I said we ALL turn a blind eye) but anyhow in alot of states that is the consensual age YES but your state SHOULD have statutory rape laws AS LONG as you ddnt consent to the dating at ANY point, and if you did I would suggest you , your daughter, AND the Father weather it the best way you can. Make damn sure he takes his part. I Understand FULLY how you feel and I see alot of people are bashing the "father" and him sleeping with a 16 yo in itself IS definitely wrong BUT why has no one brought up the fact that NO this was not Rape and your daughter OBVIOUSLY participated and at 16 Im more than sure she knew not only what she was doing BUT also the possibilities AND the concequences, she's DEFINITELY not innocent in this u know?
2006-06-27 06:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by Angel B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the department of Social Services and try to set up child support. the dept of social services will require him to submit to a paternity test and once paternity is established then he will be responsible for child support as well as caring insurance on the baby.
But just so you know, the down side to this is that the father will then be likely to get visitation rights, and this will most likely not include your daughter. It would be like every other weekend, where he would pick the baby up and keep the baby until a certain time set by a judge. The visitation may not be overnight at first when the baby is so small, but once the baby is off bottle feeding/breast feeding, then it is possible that the father would have overnight visitation with the baby where your daughter would not be with them, but he would have the baby with his wife, if she decides to stay with him after this.
And once paternity is established, he could even go after custody of the baby, by saying that he is married, and that the baby would have a better, more stable life with him and his wife, rather than a single mother not yet out of school. it could get ugly.
2006-06-27 06:43:38 · answer #3 · answered by whatelks67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the father made a bigger mistake, but you shouldn't think of him, he is a very selfish man , if he didn't want you pregnant why have an affair in the first place? why stay with a wife "he doesn't like so much?" isay think of what is in your and the baby's best interest btw yes you have sinned and where i come from we only go on unsupervised dates after marriage as a person who wants to help you i say either force him to pay for the baby by going to court if you want to keep the baby or opt for adoption if you cannot be a single mother. now get a stable job, a higher education , then find a decent guy to marry who will help you raise the child i think that if you had an abortion or gave up your baby you will regret it for the rest of your life esp if you have the means to be a mother and provide whatever the baby needs. don't even think of the father , just because he is the child's biological parent , it doesn't mean that he has a say in it now. he only wants to get rid of the responsiblity and look like a good husband to continue fooling his wife and kids . he wants to have a family amd a mistress at the same time and he has no plans on having a real commitment with you. end it now and then decide what you want to do about the baby and move on with your life.
2016-03-27 05:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it known to his wife if it isnt already men like him need help and the laws suck yes at 16 they can consent to sex but your responsable for her screw ups till she 19 makes no sense but its reality...Force him to step and do what he needs to do as for the STD he probably has a few little girls he is messing with check around and ask a few questions there may be a few underage jailbates he is messin with I pretty much doubt your daughter is the first or the last but you might be able to make her pregnancy his final error in judgement if you find a minor he is messin with...Good Luck hun and Congrats on the baby even tho I know it is hard
2006-06-27 06:39:02 · answer #5 · answered by shell b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other then him taking a DNA test and paying child support legally there isn't alot you can do however.... If it was my daughter he would never be able to get anyone pregnant again it might cost me some money and a little jail time but he would pay dearly.. Does his wife know what he has done? His friends?? His employers? Those are some options for payback that doesn't include him losing a ball and you going to jail or costing you money.
2006-06-27 06:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you have to blame your daughter for knowingly done this.This cannot happen without knowledge. You have to prove she was raped by that man. You daughter has to say that.
Next, you have to prove that this man is responsible for this, by getting DNA test performed.
You have to think about rehabilitation of the child.
or you have to allow your daughter to become his second wife.
This thing happened because sex is blind.
You cannot control the body language.
Age is nothing to do with sex.
These things happen till human beings live in this on earth.
2006-06-27 06:41:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I owuld get a lawyer and sew him for all he is worth, or get like really good child support off him. But to be realistic, just talk to your lawyer about your options. Choose the one that you think will help you and your daughter gat through it easier.
I dont think that it is right either, you should be able to do something about it.
2006-06-27 06:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Study the law becasue with him being married he has violated his oath to his wife. If you can find anything that has to do with emotional strain as well as deceit i am sure it will help. Does the wife know? She can sue him for doing it and HE IS RESPONSIBLE financially for her care and that baby, GET HIM ANYWAY YOU CAN he can't go around getting young girls pregnant while he is married, And the std too. You've got to find a good lawyer, medical bills is also his responsibility
2006-06-27 06:38:44 · answer #9 · answered by uptownsgurl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is of legal age there isn't much you can do about the sex..However you need to make him financially responsible for raising the child..Be sure his name is on the birth certificate and take him to court for child support
2006-06-27 06:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by dwh12345 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋