My girlfriends parents hate me. How can I resolve this?

Question

My girlfriend and I are truly in love. I recently met her parents and they made me feel like I didn't belong. They thought I was an ex-con (never been in trouble with the law), I probably have HIV (i did my own tattoos), and that they feared for their lives with me around (WHAT?). They never took the chance to know me just criticize me about every little thing, smoking, tattoos, my past. They are a bit wealthy and i come from a lower middle class family. To me they seem like they put money before happiness. The way I see it they see their daughter happy and they don't want to see it. Another thing that makes me real angry, she has a son that is turning 3 and i love him very much. I treat him like my own. They think she is a bad mother, not true. They seem to think that when he's around he gets ignored, he gets all the attention when he is awake. everyone that sees us playing around think I am a very loving father figure. So what the hell is her parents problem?

Answer 1

There are two things causing this problem:
1. They are parents and this is their "little girl" who they love and want to protect...therefore NO ONE can ever be good enough for her...I'm guessing they have extra issues due to the fact that she is a mother and (I am guessing) the father is not 100% in the picture...so this upsets them...unwed mother, maybe she is quite young? They can't get over this enough to see she is happy and you are a good guy.
2. They are upper class and have a stick up their butt because of your status. This may be stereotypical but it is often true...they simply believe people with less money/status/power are not as worthy...and not worthy to care for their daughter. They are uptight about this and look down on you for not being like them...they probably don't even realize they are doing it.

My advice to you is to ignore this and just do the best you can in your relationship. As long as your girl doesn't take what they say to heart, and still wants to be with you just as much...then that is all you need! Keep being a good father-figure to her soon and a great boyfriend to her! As for the parents...I say be ridiculously nice to them...not suck up, just show them that their low opinion does not affect you or your great relationship.
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

My Girlfriends Parents Hate Me

Answer 3

Been there done that. Put the shoe on the other foot your daughter brings home a tattooed, smoking guy that does not look like he could take care of himself much less a family. Is that what you would want for your daughter. When we become parents our way of thinking changes completely it is different when it is our children. Her parents problem is they want the best for their daughter and you can not fault them for that. I have a feeling money is not the issue it is more the appearance. The way we look and act is what gives people that first impression about us. It may not be fair but it is true. You judged them by their money and prestige. My guess would be if the daughter really loves you, that you treat her and her child well. When you are in her parents prescience that you go out of your way to dress nicely and just show by your actions and mannerisms how much you love their daughter and grand child they will begin to look at you differently. I had this same problem with my daughter and her boyfriends appearance turned me off; not with my daughter she deserves better, but in time after I learned his heart he won the whole family over. So if you are a good guy don't stress, just continue to be a good guy. A note from a mom, give up smoking it's a terrible habit as well as bad for your health and anyone else around you, Just a thought! Good Luck

Answer 4

Hopefully I can answer. My parents are wealthy and come from that old-school mentallity too. Tattoos don't a convict make but if you have a lot, for people from their age group and background, it is intimidating. Perhaps try to dress as neatly as possible when you visit. And be as nice as you can. You don't have to like them but if you love your woman, you have to treat them with respect. My dad has always maintained that "No one is good enough for my precious baby." Parents are always extra guarded when it comes to daughters. The best thing you can do is to be polite and cordial when you're in their presence. I assume you are already, so please continue for the sake of your girlfriend and her son. Actions speak louder than words and when they see you treating her with love and respect as well as her son, hopefully it will open their eyes. And if not, then at least you can say you took the high road and played by the rules. You can't make them change their views of you, and this is no guarantee that they will start to like you. If they should continue to be like this toward you, you'll just have to let it roll off your back if you want to be with this woman and care for her son. Plenty of people out there have horrible in-laws and they do the same. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

From a fathers perspective we sometimes want for our children what we think they should have and not necessarily what is good for them. Do not judge the parents too harshly because they are only doing what they have been taught to do and that is perfectly natural as you will find out later on in life. What they do and think might not be directly in line with the way you and their daughter think but that is part of life. Maybe look and learn at what you see and it might help open your eyes when the roles are you and your fiance' and you are guiding your son. They are not altogether guilty of being bad they are a product of years of seeing many things and events and stereotypes played a big roll in their expectation for their daughter. You probably will not understand all of this but take what you do and keep and open mine and you priorities on the mate and the child as they are important and who knows, seeing this mom and dad might see something different in you. Couldn't hurt. God bless u all and good luck.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Sounds like you are going to have to be the bigger person here. Don't take her parents attitude personally. They have issues that were created before you ever came into the picture.

Just continue to be a good boyfriend by making their daughter happy and being cool with the little one. No matter what be kind and respectful to the parents even when it seems they don't deserve it. They will come around.

It is hard to hate someone who is constantly good to you.

Answer 8

When I met my husband he had hair down to his waist, tattoo's leather jacket...smoked and the whole thing, Now I was older mind you but my mum still was a bit put off by what was going on. Now that I am a mother I would not want my daughters to limit themselves to anything, but I sure the hell would not judge someone for how they looked My husband doesn't look like that now, I mean tattoo;s of course lol but hair is short and he's now a professional...
We are very happy and I think I would want the same for my daughters...I would want them to pick someone who had a good heart, not caring how much metal they had in their face or how much artwork they did on themselves. That is just outside stuff..and more power to you..
I think that perhaps you should just kinda show them through your loving their daughter perhaps they will come around..it seems when people start to get money, they begin to look at others as lower creatures...
I wouldn't pay too much attention to it...but if your really worried, remember...Your not dating her parents, Your dating her and you just be a good daddy to her son and you both will be fine -smiles-
Blessed Be

Answer 9

Try and tell them. Show them that you have the ability to reason and are not just some street thug. If the ex-con thing is really a problem, there's probably a way you can get your record. If there's no use in trying to persuade them otherwise, then just forget them. They don't sound like the most supportive people, and that's not the best thing when you're trying to bring up a family.

Answer 10

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My girlfriends parents hate me. How can I resolve this?
My girlfriend and I are truly in love. I recently met her parents and they made me feel like I didn't belong. They thought I was an ex-con (never been in trouble with the law), I probably have HIV (i did my own tattoos), and that they feared for their lives with me around (WHAT?). They never...