2006-06-27 05:41:02 · 11 answers · asked by Jennifer F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im not sure what is too much...but I can tell you what is too little....My first wife had a fit whenever I spent time with my parents .....I visited them less than I could have..Since then dad passed away....I treasure the time I spent with him after my divorce but will always regret allowing her to influence how much time I spent with him.....
2006-06-27 05:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WARNING WILL ROGERS WARNING WILL ROGERS...POISONOUS IN-LAW ALERT
Look, it's not a matter of frequency. It's a matter of behavior. Trust me, because I had the same problem with my wife and it nearly went very very bad.
1) Does he want to spend every available moment, and every available holiday and three-day weekend with them? Does he talk to them once a day or more?
2) Does he value their opinions as much as yours? Or even more?
3) Does he often consult them about marital issues between the two of you? Not once or twice, mind you, but on an ongoing basis?
4) Do his parents keep trying to exert control over him and the decisions he makes in life?
5) Do you feel that his mother keeps trying to manipulate him?
I have in-laws like that. It's really weird. All my wife's brothers are in their late 30s and early 40s, and they all worry about what their parents think. One even owns a motorcycle that he moves to the neighbor's driveway everytime the parents come to visit.
Trust your instincts here. You two are now your family. And while parents and sisters and brothers are important, they're not as important as you. And if your husband cannot cut the cord, then you are in for a long, difficult tug of war between your spouse and his parents.
I finally had to tell my wife, "If your parents' opinions matter more than mine, then go live with them." After that we had a long discussion, and she now actually shows flashes on independence.
2006-06-27 07:27:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Bible says a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife. If God is #1 in his life, then his wife and children should be #2, parents and other people (friends etc) should be #3. Evaluate the amount of time he spends with you and your children (if you have them), leave off the time he spends on the job, cuz heaven knows he needs one to support his family, and see if you don't have the bulk of his time devoted to you.
2006-06-27 05:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by dixie_til_i_die 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sympathize with you because I, also have this problem. My husband and I are ver very busy with doctors' appointment, our work, amd me trying to get into graduate school; therefore we have no time for ourselves. Every month my in-laws come down to visit which alot of the times I am exhausted because of our hectic schedules. Right before they travel down, I have to prepare the house b/c there are times they stay in the guest bedroom. The real downside about them coming down is that they really can't stand me and I have to entertain them while my husband is at work. When my husband is around, I fell like a total outsider b/c they talk to them and I am excluded from the conversation. I believe that the husbands' parents should have enough discretion to know when they are hogging up his time from the spouse, and if they don't either have the common courtesy or the common sense to then it is the husbands job to sit them down and talk to them about how he and his spouse needs time to themselves for their relationship. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel and stress the importance of him to talk to your parents. Worse comes to worse you might have to sit them down and talk to them yourself.
2006-06-27 06:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by camels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one to answer. Try to be understanding about this. I have an ex-boyfriend who spent every weekend at his mother's house, and at least one day a week, too. I felt back then that it was interfering with our life together. That he was a "mommy's boy". Years later I look back and realize I acted like a *****.
2006-06-27 05:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by Okkieneko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Honestly, the way a man treats his mom is a pretty good indicator of how he'll treat his wife...so boys who want to spend time with their mommas are a good thing!
2006-06-27 05:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by mybrilcareer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tag along and spend time with him and them so it won't feel like you are home waiting for him. Or invite his parents over for a game night, movie night, homecooked meal, whatever, so you are not being neglected.
2006-06-27 06:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if hes hanging out with them and interacting with them way more than he does u thats way too much. if hes taking thier sides over urs hes a mama's boy and its too much. if u feel second in his life then hes chooseing them over u
2006-06-27 05:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by jojo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should spend enough time to make you happy also.
2006-06-27 05:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much time......is when it's all the time(everyday and he has to tell them everything that goes on with him and you).....now that's too, too much.
2006-06-27 05:50:16 · answer #10 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋