It has now been 2 years that I been in a serious relationship with, a.....married man. I need advice if to continue on.... or to belive him when he tells me that he is working towards our future. I know he loves me he's always there for me and he shows me he is madly in love with me but I dont know what to do should I keep waiting and see if he does takes drastic steps to be together forever or should I move on Im only 22 and he, well he's a few years older than me. What should I do. He loves no doubt about it. I love him to.
2006-06-27 04:40:00 · 11 answers · asked by Sol 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sweetie let me give you a mans persepective on this.
First of all let get a perspective of the moral convictions of the man that you are in love with. He has a propensity to cheat. I know the type. People like this cant and wont change their behavior. I know that he says your special, and that he really wants to be with you etc. etc... but he is also married, and thats a very big commitment. If he cant end things before getting involved with another woman (you) what makes you think that he will be any different with you? (assuming of course that he does actually leave his wife.)
When it comes to married people here are some guidelines:
1. Never date a married person, its too hard on the heart
2. Never date a divorced person until they have been divorced for at LEAST a year. (same thing applies to people that have recently left a serious relationship)
Now Im not going to point a finger and call you a homewrecker... I understand that love is a chemistry thing... and you cant help who you fall in love with. I understand totally... I am worried about your heart sweetie... you need to end this for your hearts sake. He will keep coming up with excuses as to why he hasnt done anything towards divorcing, and he may even "say" that he is doing something about it when confronted about it. the thing to do is to end it with him and tell him that he needs to take care of his business, and after that MAYBE.. (and thats a BIG maybe) maybe you can get back together after you and he have had some time off and he has been divorced for some time.
But like i said before... when you get involved with a cheater, your asking to be cheated on... its a habit that most cant break.
Best of luck darlin.
JB
2006-06-27 05:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by Jonny B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart its all BS if he really loved you he would get the divorce especially since its been more then 2 years or the separation or whatever but since your so willing to stay around no matter what why should he give up his wife you see it as love and he will be with me he sees it as i got some sex at home and i get some sex out of the house and the wife doesn't know and th misteress thinks i love her so he is happy
believe me he is not leaving her for you no matter how much he claimss he is
And i am editing this cause the term homewrecker is messed up you cannot call her a homewrecker yeah he is married yeah she is the misstress but the man didn't have to do it People who blame the mistress for the faults of there significant other are usually the weaker ones and usually are the ones to forgive the cheater
2006-06-27 11:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by OZoNE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your treading on dangerous ground. Let's just say you and him get together. What will stop him from seeing someone else. It's already obvious he can't commit, by having an affair with you. If you are having second doubts about things, then there's a reason for this. Your intuition is telling you something is wrong. Why should he divorce his wife and marry you? He's already got you. Just like the old saying, "why buy a cow when you get the milk for free?". If you keep waiting, then eventually you're gonna get hurt. My opinion girl, is to leave him, and find someone who's single and willing to commit to you. You're gonna have to think this out clearly, then whatever decision you make, stick with it. I only hope you make the right decision. Best of luck to you.....
2006-06-27 11:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok here is my opinion you need to consider a few things first.
Is there a chance he will leave his wife and family for you?Or is he just having the best of both worlds.You say its been two years and I hope this whole time he has not been telling you he is going to leave her for you he just needs time,because believe me that is one of the oldest lines in the book.Are you happy with just being the other woman? I have to tell you not to waste much more time on it because you are very young you have alot of time to find the right man for you,someone that will put you as number one.and remember he is cheating on his wife with you, are you the only other woman, or does he have more,and if he does end up with you will he do the same to you?like i said you are too Young for this much drama.Talk to him get everything out in the open and see what happens...
2006-06-27 11:56:40 · answer #4 · answered by guzmantear25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you that in 2 years if he hasn't made an effort to divorce the woman he probably won't. If he really loved you how could he live with another woman? You need to set a deadline. If you want to discuss with him the time frame so that he feels its fair that may be the only diplomatic way to go about it. But if he feels threatened by you needing to be more than a mistress, he's never going to give you what you want.
2006-06-27 11:46:15 · answer #5 · answered by wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey I been though this, too. I talked to him about it and told him that i need to move on because i was the second women and i couldn't be that at all. yeah love is strong but its not forever. What I'm telling u to do is to take time out from him and see what else is out there because u are young explore your option other then him. he can still be ur friend but no more then that.
2006-06-27 11:52:37 · answer #6 · answered by sertomica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bluntly, you are a home wrecker. Why did you even fall for a married man? He is never going to take a drastic step and leave his wife. He is using you and has been for two years.
2006-06-27 11:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by elles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wasting your time with this guy. Even if he does leave his wife, which he probably wont until she finds out he's cheating and kicks him out. So then what will you have ? A guy that cheats all to yourself until he finds another 22 yr old to cheat on you with. Why are you waiting around for this ?
2006-06-27 11:43:42 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. But dont wait to long your young and have your whole life ahead of you. But you always need to give at least one chance. See what he says and then decide
2006-06-27 11:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by pancake_tits_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby girl, right now you're just blind. if he is truely loves you, then as a man, he should do the right thing first. right now, you're just a second option. and no one wants that. baby girl, you need to see the whole picture from a third person point of view.
2006-06-27 12:03:21 · answer #10 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋