I returned home late last night and found him passed out on the couch. I left this morning and didn't say word to him. We've been in a rocky relationship for quite some time now. I had an affair and now I'm paying big time.He says he forgives me but I don't believe that . We are both hanging on to something that will inevitably hurt us both.However, I really do love him.He's everything I've ever wnted in a man. Brains & he's gorgeous to boot. But if I love him as I think I do, why did I betray him? I regret every moment of it, but we can't seem to got over this. He offered couples counselling a few months back but nothing came of it. Are we fighting a losing battle? I'd really appreciate some advice.
2006-06-27 03:36:08 · 5 answers · asked by Lee Ann M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you need to forgive yourself for the past and you need to seek counseling and help to get past this. You may also need to go to marriage counseling with your husband. Stop kicking yourself so hard for this and work to get past it and move on and love your husband and work on your marriage and making it a better one. You definitley need couples counseling and or therapy and I am here if you need to talk. I feel there is hope for your marriage if you start working hard at it. I wish you both the best with this.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
2006-06-27 06:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have to stop regretting what you did.
I know it may sound awkward but life is about experiences, not mistakes.
I am sure your affair hurt him, it's nothing to expect out of someone you love. I would give him time and pray he'll accept you again, you cannot force him to though.
I'm wondering about the couples counseling, when he suggested it, did you ever encourage it to happen?
it's a 50/50 thing. If you want the relationship to stop holding so much pain and regret, you should make moves for it to happen.
2006-06-27 04:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by fiestygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you've violated trust of your spouse then it will always be hard to re develope that trust again. He's still hurting inside and it will just get worse as time goes on. The love he had is in question and it's like his world is shattered or devastated. Both of you can communicate, but most likely what ever caused you to stray will cause you to do it again. You need to make a decision to get out of the relationship or just keep on festering an imbalanced situation. Let go even though it's difficult. I felt shattered when my two ex-wives cheated on me. I could never forgive them. Pro longing the relations just made it worse.
2006-06-27 03:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by LARRY P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm....he is brainy and gorgeous. Then search your soul, girl. Why DID you step out on him? And that affair you had...how did it make you feel? Wonderful? Special? Or on some level did your feel sneaky and low? Surely it wasn't just for the sex. Spouses cheat to get what they cannot get at home, as a rule. If you truly love this man, then you will both have to sit down and devise steps to take to move forward.
2006-06-27 03:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO BACK TO A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR B/C IF U 2 R STILL THERE IT IS FOR A REASON U 2 STILL FEEL SOMTHING FOR EACH OTHER SO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS
2006-06-27 04:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋