Two years ago my fiance of 3 years passed away from a fatal car crash. I never even had the chance to say goodbye. It's been two years and the wounds are still slowly healing, but the pain of lonliness and being always alone hurt immensly. I was thinking about dating again but im not sure if im ready yet. When we were together i told her that she was the only one in the world that made me truly happy, and that my heart only belonged to her. Her brother said to me that it was time that I moved on, its what she would have wanted. I dont even know why im posting this, what do you think i should do?
2006-06-27 03:07:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
oh yeah, im a 22 year old Male
2006-06-27 03:07:53 · update #1
You are neither. You are human.
Grief is a difficult thing to put rules or a time limit on. I am very sorry to hear that you have such a tragic tale, and at only 22. I don't think it is easy to just up and change the way you feel about it. I do think that at some point you need to move on and find the kind of love that makes a human appreciate all the trials that life throws at you, but only you can decide when you are ready. In my opinion, your best bet is to spend time making peace with the spirit of your fiance. It may sound a little hokey, but ask her what she thinks. When she says you should find someone (because she must have loved you very much and as you must know by now, when you love someone truly, you want them to be happy and fulfilled), ask her also to help you find someone who will make you feel the way you felt when you were with her.
I hope that by that point, you will feel free to move on, and know that you have a charmed life ahead thanks to your history.
2006-06-27 03:18:47 · answer #1 · answered by klygen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie...
I am so sorry for your.
To be so young and to have suffered a loss like that.
I know you are hurting. Without losing focus on your question, been there, done that in many areas of my life.
You do need to get out there and get your feet wet.
I am not saying you should start dating right away. Just get the social contact. It will all fall into place when you are ready.
I do not think the woman you loved so much would be happy with the fact that you have shut yourself off from life.
While it is so sad she is gone, she is indeed gone. You are not.
I truly wish you luck...
God bless...
2006-06-27 03:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by rvogelpohl2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My condolences to you, that is such a tragic loss.
No one else can tell you when its time to get over a loss like that, and everyone goes through the stages of grief differently. There's no set time to 'feel better'. If you feel that you are ready to get out of the low place you're in, get someone to talk to about it, a friend, family member, or counselor. Maybe they can help you at least voice your feelings and get past the deepest part of grief better. When the sun shines for you again, and you're feeling more yourself, then you'll be ready to start thinking about a life with someone else. Until then, you'll be fooling yourself, and not being fair to a new partner. 'Time will heal all wounds,' or so I'm told. It won't erase scars, but you will get past this feeling someday.
2006-06-27 03:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by Sassenak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not selfish or insane, you are still grieving. Take the time you need to grieve but focus on life and healing. As far as getting into another relationship goes, you need to be healed enough to do that. It would not be fair to someone for you to get involved with them and not be able to be fully into the relationship because of your pain. Life does go on. I don't know how much you know about God, but I can say from experience that He can help you and comfort through this process. Pray and ask Him to
heal your heart and show you where you should go from here.
2006-06-27 03:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a rough ride sweetheart. Only you will know when the time is right for you to start dating. Do not~however, beat yourself up over her passing, start going to clubs, church... whatever you are comfortable doing, associate with new people become friends with the opposite sex~: you will find that a-lot of women will respect you for talking about your fiance', and how devoted you was/are to her.
2006-06-27 03:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by john's brat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as hard as it sounds, u need to move on... ur fiance knows how u feel about the whole situation and knows u love her, miss her, and want to say goodbye so bad. :) its ok, u are gonna find the girl of ur dreams one day. Dont feel bad if u can never forget ur fiance, thats just the way it works
2006-06-27 03:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by diamondprincezz456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm truely sorry for your loss. *hug.. you will never get over her & she will always be a part of your heart.. treasure the wonderful times you had..
yes my friend it's time to step forward into a new page of your life.. your so young and have a full life ahead of you.. there is a whole world out there. find your place in the sun.. Be Happy . get back into the swing of life.. *hug
2006-06-27 03:17:49 · answer #7 · answered by Betty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if this will help you , but i lost my first wife, i had a 18month old daughter, it took me 6 years to start to date again..I feel for you , i know what you have been going through
2006-06-27 03:17:32 · answer #8 · answered by Lonewolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on at some point..Not sure when that is but someday you will need to be with someone else. No matter what you cannot bring your fiance back.Sorry
2006-06-27 03:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by dwh12345 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She would hate the thought that you were still sad after so long. She would want you to be happy.
2006-06-27 03:18:28 · answer #10 · answered by codrock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋