how do i tell if my husband is having an affair?

Answer 1

I would ask, he may not be honest but he'll know you know....that will make him very nervous. but you definitly want to ask,,not attack, cause if he isn't then you'll create a bigger problem by accusing him of something he isn't doing.

Answer 2

Well if you have your suspicions then I hate to say this but most likely it's true. I know, I was a cheating husband myself and I was very good at it for years. Just so you know I'm now reformed (after much therapy). I wasn't unhappy with my home life it was my professional life that was my stress and I found out that afternoon affairs and hotel rendezvouses were a great stress relief. But enough about me....

Be carefully how you confront him. Don't try to trap him, just ask him if he's happy in your relationship for starters and take it from there. Give him a chance to discuss what he's unhappy about and most likely it's not you.

The signs of him having an affair can be hard to read for sure. I would never came home smelling like sex or another woman, because I always showered and splashed on fresh cologne before going home. I always played during the afternoon on work time, not family time. So I was always home after work. My employees were more suspicious then my wife. They always wondered why I took long lunches....

You may want to check cell phone records or call history on his cell phone. He may forget to clear the history one day. He may have more than one cell phone or if he has a company phone, you have to check call history. If you are computer literate check for multiple email addresses. Check for additional credit cards in his wallet. I used to have the statements go to a PO box. These were all some of the tricks I used to use. Hopefully this will help you and you can get this resolved with your husband. I hope he's not cheating on you and that everything works out for you good luck and keep us posted on how it goes.

Answer 3

There are no "tell tale clues" to say certainly that he is having an affair. You can tell however when your mate has become distant, but distant does not necessarily mean an affair. Distant can mean that he is un-certain or having a problem in his life, that he does not feel he needs help with.

The number one cause for an affair in any relationship is lack of communication. Open up communication, and make sure you BOTH are being heard, and that your needs are being met.

He is your husband, if there is something that he has requested then maybe if you haven't done that, you should give it a try, and vice versa.

Answer 4

He will start doing some very weird things that he doesn't normally do. Here are some examples: Suddenly make changes in his lifestyle, like dressing differently, wearing cologne when he usually doesn't, working out, grooming habits change, listening to different music, talking differently like saying words that he doesn't usually say. He might have a cell phone, but either keep it hidden, turned off or on silent and have the bill mailed elsewhere. Unaccounted for time is a big give away too, working late hours, going in early, unexpected "busines trips". Also, secret email accounts. Keeping a calling card on hand. There are lots of things to look for, these are the things that my husband did. Good luck

Answer 5

Are you feeling guilty about a thought, word or deed of which your husband would get mad about? If not, ask yourself, "Why am I suspecting my hustband of having an affair?" If your thinking is completely rational, than perhaps, subconsciously you have picked up on some genuine clues. Call him on it.

Mostly likely if he is having an affair, he will call it off because he really loves you, but is an immature man who wanted some strangeness in bed to feel like a man again.

Answer 6

Tell tale signs of my own husband having affairs:
1. Giving gifts or flowers out of the blue when he never does it before. Why? To divert any suspicions you may have.

2. Be absolutely nice and loving towards you at times while you know for a fact he does not even want to make love to you for months!!

3. He hangs on to his handphone like a leech, afraid you would check his messages or calls.

4. Frequent meetings within a week when you know his company's policy is to have meeting just once a week. So, the rest of the so called meetings are " adhoc", according to him. Crappy!

5. He instructed you not to call during specific time coz he may have meetings, massages, urgent discussions etc and all those B*** S***! Why? so that he could spend his time with whoever she was without any disturbances.

6. More alert on his physical appearance than usual and ignores your compliments.

7. Verbal and mental abuse becoming more and more frequent. When you ask him of what he does outside your home or expresses your doubts about his fidelity, he will start to verbally abuse you and make you feel real small and turn the guilt back to you. He started to accuse you of cheating instead.See how smart he turns it around. .So, he looks like the good party in the end.

8. Lastly, TRUST YOUR INTUITION OR INSTINCTS and pray to god for the evidence to surface!! I trusted mine. It led me to the discovery but you must be ready to face the ugly truth coz it will hurt you reaaaaaaal bad. Trust me!

Though it takes two to clap, I have been clapping on my own for a while before I decided to stop clapping coz I was hanging on to his love I thought was still there for me. As long as your conscience is clear that you have done your good part, dont ever blame yourself for infidelities. You are not responsible for his actions. Mine made a decision to act on the betrayals. He would not act on it if he loves and respect you as a wife and individual. (",)

Answer 7

The question you really should be asking is:- Who are you being towards him in relationship that he needs to go to another woman? Mens archtypical reality on women comes from mum, and mum was always nice. Men don't want to sit on the outside of the cave being challenged and confronted and guarding the horizon all day and then come inside for some nurturing, and get more of that and their buttons pressed. So guess what he'll go somewhere else where thats not occuring...does that give you any clues? Given your typically not talking about your part in it! If your not giving him "nice" he will look for "nice" elseswhere. it's not complicated and human beings complicate it! You don't own anybody or have a contract on anybodies life and we think we do. The cultrual myth and religious dogma marriage contract says "Till death us do part" and when you take peoples choices away the mind rebels everytime. So consider this as a possibility:- what if once we got all the growth we could from another we moved on! human beings need consistent mental stimulation which is another important factor. Sex is great until the lights come on and if theres no mental stimulation do you really want to have sex with them? This is why the world is so full of dis-illusioned virgins attached to there fairy story coming true and consitently winging about where's my Mr. Right.! Furthermore i suggest all women look at their insecurities, fear of loss ect and give up your anger that you have towards all men as a gender for treating you as second class citizen, of which you'll only express when you feel quite safe he wont leave you. I suggest you tell your Dad because thats where you learnt about men and the issue lays equally so from where you learnt from mum how to "supposedly" treat a man, (and she didnt know either, ad infinitum), men are not your private punch bags and ignorant of their own ignorance about this subject of relationship they may, however there is no man that will put up with a womans crap no matter how beautifull she may be...when enough is enough, it's enough! ..Try giving up the soaps, the gossip magazines and the gossip, maybe he'll get a renewed interest in you as it's you who adopted those and made yourself look shallow. Men want stimulating facts not shallow fantasy! You can live in fact or fantasy not both. So, deal with reality before it deals with you and take responsibility for your part in it, as it takes two to argue, and if your moving into argument then somebodies not telling the truth .....Period!

If you think i lie...ASK ANY MAN !

Answer 8

ask his mother (if the relationship between you and her is very good) and/or snoop around the computer. I did both, when I found out my now ex-husband was having an affair. I also noticed alot of little things that are out of character for him.

Answer 9

Is he more happy than normal?
Started overtime on saturday mornings, leaving the house ridiculously early?
Not bothered about your much lower sex drive?
Stays up late at night, e-mailing or texting his misstress?
Money leaving the bank account, in cash only, so no credit card bills or receipts?
Do you have a work number for your husband, or is he only available on his mobile?

I'm a little bit ashamed to say i know the answers because i am a 'misstress'

Answer 10

Does he have a computer. I found out last night that my husband has had multiple sexual encounters with women online and then had the balls to look at me and tell me that it did not matter that it was all part of a game that he was involved in.

Answer 11

Is he doing any of the following? If so, he may well be-
Hiding his mobile, or putting an unlock code on it
Dressing differently
Wearing different aftershave
Paying more attention to his appearance than usual
Working late
Spending more time on his computer at nights
Being different towards you
Refusing to have sex with you or anything sexual
Staying away at night