I have three step children with him and I just want to have one so i can go through pregancy my self I love my Step kids I just want to go htrough it myself? If i got pregnant and didn't tell him I was trying to how bad would that be?
2006-06-27 02:27:08 · 10 answers · asked by momof3520 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
extremely bad.
1. relationships that have secrets almost always end badly for all involved. and painfully.
2. Getting married in that order will most likely leave him feeling like that is the only reason you married him, and again, that basis for a relationship usually ends badly, but more importantly, is not fair to the child.
3. Honesty is usually the best policy. Have you tried having this discussion with him? Laying all of your feelings and your issues on the table and encouraging him to do the same?
Best of luck to you!
2006-06-27 02:35:13 · answer #1 · answered by smartkid37138 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, funny you ask this question because I'm in the same dilemma and I feel the exact same way as you. The old saying you wouldn't understand unless you're in that person's shoe..well I am. My boyfriend only has one child but I totally understand what you are feeling and trying to say here. I don't have any kids but I've tried for years with my ex husband. I want a child so bad at this point of my life and I know I want it with my boyfriend. He on the other hand wasn't quite ready because being a single parent is really hard. He wanted to do it right this time and get married first but the thing is it's hard for you to have to wait for all that right? you want a child more then the marriage...sounds selfish but I understand and it's not really. Just talk to him, tell him why you feel this way and see what he has to say. I mean if it's a mental thing for you for you to experience it so you can understand the process then he can't expect you to accept his kids as your own when he won't agree to conceive with you so you can understand the full meaning of being a parent right? Communication and compromise..in the end it helps.
2006-06-27 03:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by maopaj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to get pregnant BEFORE you get married If you're getting married anyway?!!!
Have you discussed having children together?
It's not a good idea to start a marriage if the 2 can't see eye to eye on something so important and certainly not good to start it out being deceitful!
This issue should be resolved before any commitment is made!
2006-06-27 02:37:24 · answer #3 · answered by mamabunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pregnancy is something that needs to be done together!
my husband and i were "surprised" by our little bird and at first i was pretty freaked out and he was fine....it made me feel like we weren't a team. i felt like he was happy about something and i was scared and we weren't on the same page.
i can't stress how important it is to be on the same page about pregnancy.
i always thought that if i never found that special guy, that i could be a single mom (hi, sperm bank:), but once it actually happened i knew that i needed his support more than anything else!
pregnancy isn't a cake walk and you will feel even more awful if you know that you tricked your baby's dad into creating him/her.
just talk to him....if you guys aren't on the same page about kids, then maybe he isn't the one you should spend your life with.
step kids are great, but if you feel that urge to be a mother from beginning to end...well, it's not going to go away.
i hope you find the right path to take.
take care.
2006-06-27 02:51:25 · answer #4 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting pregnany needs full consent of both parties. If you don't get his agreement then you can't expect his support.
You may ruin a happy and loving relationship by not telling him that you are trying to get pregnant.
2006-06-27 02:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a decision that you both need to make. Tricking him into getting you pregnant is not only dishonest, its a bad way to start a new marriage.
2006-06-27 03:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by psychstudent 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have step-kids til you get married to him. What it sounds like you want is a sperm doner.
2006-06-27 05:15:03 · answer #7 · answered by Rosemary A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him if he still wants to have kids and tell him that you want to get pregnant...it's better to be clear than sorry...Ã
2006-06-27 02:36:31 · answer #8 · answered by rai-ann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it would be really bad if he doesn't want more kids.
2006-06-27 02:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by kiss me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try speaking to him iff he loves you he'll do it
2006-06-27 02:32:04 · answer #10 · answered by ioana m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋