i have two friends who are both married but not to each other who want to test the waters so to speak.should these two try follow what they are feeling or not? they are really close friends and are friends with each others spouse as well.there kids play together.they are both involved in the same club and are always flirting with each other at every chance.or am i reading into it. i know how one of them feels how can i tell for sure if the other is feeling it too.or is this friend just reading to far into it? the other friend is a lot older then she is and its a known fact that he and his wife dont have sex.so when asked how should i help her to figure out what she should do.i know its wrong to act on these feelings when your married..how can i tell her nicely without hurting her feelings since she comes to me about all this?
2006-06-27 02:25:41 · 19 answers · asked by huntress2800206 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
its wrong
2006-06-27 02:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by earldubin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could do for her is to be honest. It is very wrong for two people to get involved when they are married to other people. Tell her that the only thing that can come out of this if she should cross that line is all negative. The other spouses will be hurt terribley, and the children will suffer. I know that it is "just sex", but if these two develop feelings for each other, then they should do the right thing and divorce their other spouses and then be together. I'm not a religious woman, but morally I believe that a marriage is sacred, and you should NEVER, no matter what the circumstance have sex with another person while married to someone else.
If her marriage is that bad that they are not having sex, she and her husband need to really open up those lines of communication and talk to one another about how they can fix that. If they truly love each other they can do things to make it work (heck, tell her to get the current issue of Alllure magazine, there's some great tips in there how to be sexy :)). If they aren't happy, then for the sake of the kids they should split up, and they both should find other partners. The children will not suffer as much living in separate homes with happy parents than they will living in an unhappy home with their parents trapped in an unhappy marriage.
Speaking of kids, if she should start a sexual relationship with this other person while married, and their kids play together, then tell her that kids aren't as naive and oblivious as she may think. Kids pick up on stuff REAL QUICK. And they will ask questions. They will notice if there is a connection between them.
Good luck, and I hope this helps. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, either. This is your friends problem, and she needs to work it out herself. All you can do is listen and give her your honest opinion. If her feelings get hurt by you telling her what can and will inevitabley happen, they won't be nearly as hurt as she and all involved will be if she embarks on an affair.
2006-06-27 02:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by Carly829 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just don't think it's something for you to get involved in. Maybe you can tell her you are uncomfortable discussing it because you don't want to see any problems arising out of it. Obviously, one of them is not getting what they need in their marriage, right? That is one of the reasons a person strays. If the two are really good friends - they are close - they know what they need from each other as friends. If you get too involved, you may end up losing a friendship you have right now.
2006-06-27 02:30:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her how she would feel if it was her husband and she found out about it. And ask her if she is ready to hurt the other people in her life just to have a fling. Maybe she hasn't thought of just exactly how many people that it could effect....like not only her husband and the kids....but her parents...his parents...other family members......friends, hers, his..and the ones that they share and will have to be devided.....the lives that she will be changing.....the emotional roller coaster she will cause.......ask her if its really worth it all just to have sex. I think she is being selfish and actually...it could be the best thing for her family...they really do deserve better.
2006-06-27 02:34:37 · answer #4 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well they made a commiment to other people and it wouldnt be fair to them if they do this. they should consider getting divorced then trying a piece of the pie. this will also tell if they are serious or not. would you risk a lifetime of being with someone for a few minutes of infatuation? and also if the other parties find out dont they know they can divorce them for infidelity? tell your friend to buy some toys and stay away from her friends husband...
2006-06-27 02:31:37 · answer #5 · answered by luv41anatha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isn't ok. She is married, with a baby. She is off-limits to you, and one yet another guy (and female) because she made a promise to "forsake all others." you need to do the honorable component and damage this courting off. there are a good number of unmarried women persons obtainable only death to make your acquaintance, and in case you do not trust me only examine a number of those questions. you do not favor the difficulty of being the "different social gathering" to the breakup of a wedding ceremony, and it really is incorrect in the first position.
2016-11-15 07:53:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her how she would feel if some other woman was carrying on like this with her husband....how hurt would she be to know her husband layed down in someone elses bed and lied to her about it? Ask her if she is prepared for the consequences, which could include losing her husband....Tell her it is immoral....
2006-06-27 02:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you said both are married so it is wrong. Do not forget the Lord is also in that union (no, I am not a priest, pastor, or anyone like that).
2006-06-27 02:32:53 · answer #8 · answered by batista 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, they should not 'test the waters'. do youknow how much that would hurt their spouses, not to mention their kids? you need to tell your friends to stop spending so much time together, or they are going to ruin the most important relationships in their life.
your friends need to go to marriage counseling, but they DEFINITELY do not need to 'follow what they are feeling'!
2006-06-27 02:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by lledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to avoid this like the plague!!! Vows are vows. They need to keep them. The devil always make something look good, but the consequences are devastating.
2006-06-27 02:29:00 · answer #10 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, they're all married, have kids and go to the same church. what's not to understand? it's wrong! if she asked u, then give her an honest answer without being mean.
2006-06-27 02:30:38 · answer #11 · answered by thundakat312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋