I have been with my man for 6 years, engaged for 4. I don't know if i want to be with him any more. We have had some great times together and i care for him alot but when i talk about him i don't smile but i smile when i talk about the new guy. He's cute and he gets me. What should i do? I don't want to be a complete *****. I have always been honest about how i feel with the fiance and told him about the kiss- he doesn't mind that so much as the fact that i don't know if we should be together anymore. I don't know what to do for the best. It's the rest of my life, you know?
2006-06-27 01:34:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In another 6 years you will feel the same about the new guy. Cut your fiance loose. He deserves better.
2006-06-27 01:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by Stratman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky situation you are in. I have been married once and things didnt go so well, I am a divorced 25 year old. It's good to hear that you are taking marriage seriously.
I think if you are unsure a break form your routine would be good. This new crush could be because some of the spark has gone from your 6 year relationship. It is hard to find a good man, don't let that pass you by for a fling, no matter how much he makes you smile. Will he make you smile in 6 years.
Good luck with this fork in lifes twisted roads!
2006-06-27 08:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by carolyn s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really need some time away from both men to sit and really think about what you want, write down the pros and cons of both relationships. Is it just because it's all new and exciting with this other man? The fact that you don't see him every day in his underpants, scratching his bits may have some affect on you, when we have been with someone for a while it can be hard to remember what you loved about them. Write down the things that you fell in love with about your boyfriend, do you feel differently about those things now? Do you have new priorities? Does your fiance still do those things or has he also changed beyond recognition? You may think this new man is perfect, but he is not, he probably has horrible habits the same as everyone else does and you may just think the grass is greener. You need to get away from them both, even just for a weekend and really analyse how you feel, you cannot keep both men hanging on a string, it is just not fair. If you really don't think you should marry your fiance, let him have his life back so that he can find someone who does love him enough to want to be faithful to him forever.
2006-06-27 08:47:54 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if you have been engaged for 4 years and no marriage I would say there is no realtionship anymore. When you engage to marry someone and the engagements lasts for a lot longer than 2 years, I firmly believe there is a reason for that.
Don;t tell me there were monteary considerations, or your not ready, Our you want to buy a house first. If there were monteary considerations then they will always be there. If your not ready yet then maybe it's because your with the wrong man. If you want to buy a house first, well that maybe desireable but consider the number of married couples who lived in apartments first happens to everyone.
When the engagement was in it's 3rd year it was time to tell your man or maybe for him to tell you, Isn;t it time we plan. Since that didn't happen there has to be a reason.
It;s time to give up and try something/someone new.
2006-06-27 08:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by mikeae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take a long and hard look at your relationship. It's always so fun and exiting when you first begin. But after a while that lovey-dovey feeling wares off. If you leave your man now for the new guy, will you feel the same way with him for say 6 years. Worst case senerio you will leave your man for the new guy, have tons of great sex, and then things will basically be the same as where you started.
2006-06-27 08:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by limeallure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its a good thing that you realised all this before you got married. There is no point staying with your current man if you are not truly happy with him. But you should not start anything with the new man until you have finished with your current one cause that would not be nice. Perhaps you should have a period of time in between where you are not with any man to get your head sorted out. Tell the new bloke and if he is really into you then he will wait for you until you are ready to commit to anything else.
2006-06-27 08:40:11 · answer #6 · answered by lovelygal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my fiance for nearly 6 years and engaged for 2 (getting married soon :-)). I still smile when I talk about and don't even look at other guys in that way. Either you have some freezing cold feet or your fiance isn't the guy for you to spend your life with. You need to get away from both of them and do some serious thinking. If you let this carry on for much longer all three of you are going to get badly hurt.
Please, please, please go away and think about it before it snowballs out of control.
Good luck.
2006-06-27 08:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by ehc11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were never really in love with your fiance. I'm sure he's very hurt and upset, particularly if he actually loves you. It sounds like you are not yet ready to settle down with one man. You might never be ready.
There's nothing wrong with this but you need to end your relationship with your fiance. There is no way anyone should ever marry without being 100% in love with their fiance and as sure as anyone can be that they will be together for life. After all that's what you are promising to do
2006-06-27 09:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks to me like you are looking for a way out of your current relationship without having to stand up and say so to the guy. Do him a favour and indeed yourself. End what you are involved in since it doesn't seem to be what you want.
I doubt the guy you kissed is what you want either truth be told. I would suggest some time alone to soul search. It doesn't have to be the rest of your life whatever choice you make. From that sentence it seems that you don't want to commit yourself at this stage. Listen to your own words, you're answering your own question.
best of luck
S
x
2006-06-27 08:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by lady_sephie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Statistically seen, if you were the first 4 years together without a major change (marrying or having childern), your relation hardly has any future.
Probably it's better to break up and take a kind of a rest to rethink your life.
2006-06-27 08:39:13 · answer #10 · answered by swissnick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋