When my parents said....?

Question

Im a 48 yr old Female
When my parents said jump I did
I never asked WHAT, WHY, HOW HIGH, OR SAID NO.
What did you do or what would you do?
Give your age if you would

Answer 1

Oh boy do I relate to that one!!
I am also female, and 48.

About 12 years ago I started setting some boundaries with my parents. I had the help of an excellent therapist. I occassionally would tell them "no" -- even though I was positive I would be struck down by lightening by doing so! LOL!! (I wasn't!)

Little by little, I stopped letting them walk all over me. When my Mom would walk into my house and immediately start criticizing me, I asked her, did you come to visit me or to criticize me? If you just came to critisize, you may go back home now, the visit is over. And I meant it. She learned to treat me with more respect.

As my own kids got older, they would intervene and say, don't let Grandma/Grandpa do that to you, and stand behind me while I stood up for myself.

I also, over time, spent less and less time and phone time with them, and kept moving farther away. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty, but I am such a wreck when I have to spend time with them, that this is best.

I wish you well.

Email or IM me if you would like to talk more.

Answer 2

I am 22, married with kids*happily* My mom and dad both worked alot, and were never home. So by the age of 16 i was the built in mommy for my younger bro and sis. I knew the rules, i knew the diff. between right and wrong, and my parents and i had an agreement. they worked all week, i made sure the kids got to school, i got to school, there homework was done and i started dinner. they usually got hom around dinner time. I did all this and kept my grades up, so they let me pretty much do what i wanted. once again i didnt get in much trouble. Yeah i got out and went to parties, drank once in a while, but i was always home by two. and if i did get drunk then i could call my mom i had a very different home life growing up. we were still a tight family and all, and im glad i was able to help, as long as i got to go away on the weekends or whatever

Answer 3

Im 22, i have rebelled against my parents since i knew how. I was emancipated at age 16, and am now more responsable and finacially secure than either of them. Dont get me wrong, they both have jobs and pay their bills, but i never agreed to the path they wanted me to go down, if i had, i highly doubt i would have achieved the level of success i currently have now. Parents arent always right, in fact most times, its a big guessing game for them. They try different things till something works. Children dont come with a directions.

Answer 4

Well I am 51 and my folks have been dead 16 years. I lived with
them after my divorce. No, I didn't jump at their every whim.
Even though my Mother thought I should have. You have to
draw the line someplace. My Mother was lazy. She would
try and send me to the store at 10:00 at night just for cigarettes!
I said NO! I had a job - she was retired and she had all day to
go to the store - yet we played this power game till she died.

She liked to be in control. Well, I miss her, but I don't miss her
bossing me around and making unreasonable demands on my
life! If you continually give in there must be a compromise -
this is how I finally worked it out with mine. Otherwise she could
and did drive me nuts!

Answer 5

I did as I was told by my parents (most of the time) until I left home at 18. That was almost 20 years ago. Now My kids jump when I say so....Aint life grand?

Answer 6

Well I have been just like that till now, I am 28 and neither can I say a No, be it my parents or friends. I am someone who you can wake up really middle of the night is you wanna talk or even go for a walk and I do.

Cheers!

Answer 7

Sounds like you're co-dependant on parental approval. You're 48 for chrimeny sakes!!!....Get a backbone....
I'm 53....and the day I would jump that would be the day!!

I will do nothing for no one unless I know the key words, why, where, when, and how!

Answer 8

I am 35 years old male married to my wife and 2 beautiful kids and I don't ever ask my parents anything. I cut them off my life and my gosh it the best thing in the world!!!!!!!! I have normal family and I have kids telling me why, no, help me and stuff so I am not sure if you looking for that answer.

Answer 9

Lol. I'm 15.4. My parents like to give me options, it's always been like that. If I was little (2-5) and I was throwing a temper tantrum, they'd be like "do you want to be in trouble?" in the nicest, sweetest voice. I'd be like "no" and stop. Geez, girl, don't let your parents control you. You are old enough to make your own decisions, don't let them decide for you. Live your life how you want to. If I was in your shoes and they told me to do something and it wasn't convenient for me, I'd look them in the eyes and say, "Mom, Dad, I know you think you are doing what's best for me, but I'm a grown woman and I'd like to make my own decisions now, okay? I still respect you, and you can give me advice, but I'm going to do what I want." Something along the lines of that.

Answer 10

I think it is important to show respect. Today parents want to be their kids friends there is no discipline in the home.or at school. My elderly parents get eggs thrown at them when they are simply sitting on their front porch.