2006-06-27 00:35:29 · 16 answers · asked by beautiful_disaster1122 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
its not just with bfs its with friends its with family ....i dont easily let ppl im my because of this....my best friend for 14yrs my best friend for 7 yrs just stabbed me in the back the a few weeks later my boyfriend who i love more then anything....gets scared and wants time to know how he really feels about me wants time to miss me so he knows im really the one....this is the second time hes done this in 3 mths....im so tierd of being hurt .....even my family has left me all i have left is my sister my brother inlaw and my 2yr old neice and 3mth old nephew! i cant take this any more!
2006-06-27 00:56:49 · update #1
You are so busy trying to please everyone that you end up getting hurt in the process. This is impossible, can't be done..you can't please everyone. You need to establish boundaries with ALL your relationships and stop allowing people to bulldoze over you. I know, I've been there. If you let people use and abuse you, then you will have a lifetime of this. If you let them know that this behavior is unacceptable, then they will stop. The best weapon you have is the word "NO"...add it to your vocabulary and please start using this often! Life is made up of a series of choices, and you are on this earth for a reason, and that is not to be used by everyone. You are a unique one of a kind person...there's only one you...so be proud of that and don't let anyone tell you who you are...that's your job! Time to let the world know who you are and stand tall & strong!!!
If you need more help with this, please e-mail me...I specialize in spiritual counselling.
2006-06-27 01:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you are a gentle person, that is sweet but leaves you in a vulnerable state. People take advantage of your type unfortunatley it is human nature to prey on the weak. you need to develop some self confidence and assertiveness in order to protect yourself from such hurt. There are courses out there and also many others like you out there. Contact your local health centre or womans centre and ask about such courses. At the end of the day someone can only hurt you as much as you allow them so it is up to you to control this as thier behaviour is not going to change. some self preservation does not make you an unkind person it makes you more prepared for the real world out there which you have already experienced. Good luck
2006-06-27 00:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know enough about you to make any call -
but I do know people generally make no changes in the characteristics of their partner of choice until they mature...then they begin looking for something different.
What I'm saying is...an objective observer...usually a close family member...would be able to spot something similar in all the men you date who break your heart....that's probably a place to start.
An example...my sister stopped dating jerks the moment I started teasing her that the only kind of guy she had ever dated was a baseball player... she insisted she loved baseball players.
Then one day she met, and ultimately married the guy she's with now - who's just a hard working guy...no athlete...and he hates baseball.
Maybe there's a commonality you can discover and try to change.
2006-06-27 00:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds really sad and utterly romantic ... And that's perhaps the answer to your question...
You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else and you need to realise that being with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you'll spend the rest of your life with them ...
A relationship takes time to build and falling 'in love' creates a false image of the person, one which is full of roses and sweetness ... Then little by little we start to discover the real person behind our imposed 'love image'... And the distancing sets in ...
My advice : Be yourself, love yourself, see your worth and value, know your faults (being too ready to fall in love may be one of them), see people as they really are, listen to and watch the person you are with, and do not make them into a 'prince charming' !!! Be open, be reserved when necessary, try to discover the real other ... Open the gates to your house but only open the front door when you are realy sure ;^)
Now it's time to go be a 'beautiful success' ... ;^)
Bon courage et bonne chance ;^)
2006-06-27 00:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tighten up your guard. no one can or will protect your heart the way you SHOULD. You have to be very very careful. Believe in what you are shown and NOT what you are told, you know like when he says he loves you; believe it when he shows you. Be open minded but cautious. This is your only defense. If the person your involved with has other intentions, you cant control that...you can only control you, you and your actions. G'luck!
2006-06-27 00:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometime you need to keep the door close and because someone is knocking you don't always half to answer. Try some alone time to figure out what keep going wrong.
2006-06-27 00:41:52 · answer #6 · answered by Fannie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sweetie in a relationship there are always ups and downs, it's not that everytime you will be in a relationship, you will always be happy all the time...sweetie in loving we always get hurt and if we get hurt, we should always learn on that, once we have learned on it dont be afraid to love again...this is what i believe...these are just trials that needs to be surpassed and to see how tough we are as a person so dont give up ...you are just being mold to a better person...
2006-06-27 00:45:48 · answer #7 · answered by trendycurly16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, i have the same exact problem. It does take some time to find people that dont break your heart though.
2006-07-08 06:11:16 · answer #8 · answered by . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aks why other people act like that towards you.. maybe.. just maybe.. the problem is you..
i know it's not exactly the most comforting advice but hey.. my teacher told us before that all problems have roots.. to be able to solve the problem.. we must know the cause.. and if this has happened to you many time.. then.. maybe the problem is with you.. **just a thought**..
2006-06-27 00:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe coz the construction contents of your heart are sub-standard. Call me for a better and reliable construction :)
2006-06-27 00:45:09 · answer #10 · answered by The Invincible Rasputin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋