Honey I'm Home!!!?

Question

Been off for a couple of weeks. So how many of you are pleased to have me back?

(not just yes or no answers please. I like long winded and meaningless codswallop so put whatever you like, just make it funny!)

Answer 1

yup mucker im pleased to have you back.... you have missed out on a number of questions that im sure you wouldf have found personally enriching... sigh...your loss...
and now for some long winded meaningless codswallop:

To prove just how smart the people who work for McDonalds are I told my sister that I would order a cheeseburger without cheese to find out what the guy would say. He did just what I thought he would do, he called back to the grill for a cheeseburger with no cheese instead of handing me a burger off the warmer. The guy working the grill didn't catch on either, because he wrapped it in a special wrapper instead of suggesting that he give me a regular hamburger.

I used to work the night shift at a restaurant and every Friday night the same 5 deaf men would come to eat. They usually came very late and often stayed passed closing time. One night when they had stayed well passed closing time, I asked my boss if he could please give them some kind of sign that we would like to close the restaurant so they would leave. He reached up and shut off the music.

I had an ex-girlfriend who was stupid. One day her stupid things were getting on my nerves and I asked her what her I.Q. was.
She responded "20/20"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Welcome back cutie! Brit huh? Awesome! My mother's family is from Kent. Many of my family members are still there and in the surrounding areas. My great-grandmother who is like 92 or something is there in Kent. One day I hope to be able to travel to England. Right now, I'm in Tennessee in the US.

So, where did you go? Were you temporarily incarcerated? Or did you have to help take care of a family member who was ill? Oh, I know, you traveled for the summer. No, you're out of school, that can't be it. You spent the better part of the summer drinking away the problems and trying to figure out how you can get the girl of your dreams back after you lost her to your old high school rival, Buck. Am I right?

Oh, well, I guess I'll never know. Unless you tell me, of course. To be honest with you, I'm one of those people who likes to give long-winded answers. And you asked for it. If I knew a little more about you, I could have gone on a lot longer with the answer. Well, glad to see you back, even though I've never seen you before. Welcome back, Babe!

Answer 3

YES! I missed you so much, sweetie! This last five years have been like living hell for me without you, but the thought that you might come back someday kept me alive!!! I'm so happy, now we can get married like you promised when we were in kindergarten. Remember, sugar pie honey-bunch? Kindergarten? Remember that one time we put a dildo on the teacher's chair and after the class when we looked to see what had happened of it, it wasn't there anymore? And remember how Ms. Clickhereformorefun left the teaching career to become a porno actress? Oh, those were the good times! And now we can finally go to our dream house in Texas! Come here and give your mama a big hug!

Answer 4

Well, I'm new and I didn't even know you were gone. But it's nice to have you back all the same. Where did you go? To sunny Florida? And you didn't take me! I'm in the book! You could have called, ya know!''Actaully I have a sister in Fla. She lives down twoards Miami way. I live in sunny Maine. Sunny! I don't think so. All it ever does is rain. It's been raining for about a week now.

Answer 5

Man I am glad my heart attack is over with already. Now I am going into shock. I never knew you left ,you never called mom to say you were gonna be away ,glad you brought the car back,even though you crashed it ,burnt the seats,left empty booze bottles all over the interior and those nasty dirty stinky socks you left in it while you used it at the beach as a crash pad ,have been burned and given to the worm garden. I just cant wait till your gone agin.

Answer 6

so your home! and before you ask? yes that sack of bones is rover, it was your job to feed him, you didn't give that a second thought did you? before you sloaped away!
and whose the tart that keeps texting your phone, oh yes you forgot to take it with you, and another thing what do we live on when you are away, no money coming into the house, the cat is working ungodly hours trying to feed us all. that poor cat down the sewage pipes all day and nights too, and where are you oh yeah high on the hog, with your mates and their wives most likely. well I've had enough, get your things and GET OUT!

Welcome Home

Answer 7

Welcome home! Don't even know you, but hope you had a good time, wherever you went, and yes, its good to have you back. Also, anyone who uses the word "codswallop" is alright by me. Haven't heard it in donkeys!

Answer 8

Don't know you , but next time you go away please turn the radio off . It kept me awake at night. I also fed your cat as it was getting skinny. I took the milk in for you as you obviously never cancelled it , there are 15 pints waiting in my fridge for you.
By the way I hope you had a good time & its great to have you back !!!!! xx

Answer 9

Glad to have ya back...Wanna salami sandwich? How bout a spot of tea?

Answer 10

I've only just joined this week so I have no idea who you are - nice to meet you though kinky poodle! I expect to hear alot from you from now on then.