im so in love and so is he i could burst with happyness there is a prob he has told his family they r so happy, but mine will hit the roof what do i do? i am going to scotland with my 2 kids on a hol and doing it there then moving a couple ov wks l8r. he is in the raf that way its easier 4 us to b together if we r married ive only split with my long term partner after 7 yrs i really want to do this but at the same time keep my kids and family happy any advice would be much appreciated xx
2006-06-26 21:30:32 · 14 answers · asked by nicola j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If youre happy, your kids will be happy. Let your family come to terms with it....this is your life, and your choice; dont mess it up by putting what someody might think in the way of happiness. believe me, you only get one chance at real love- snatch it with both hands, and have a wonderful, long and joyful life together. bless you both, good luck.
2006-06-27 01:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by k0005kat@btinternet.com 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Have I missed something? Is the world going to end in the next few months?
This is probably going to be advice that goes in one ear and out of the other but I will give you it anyway. I have uprooted my life for men in the past and it is never normally a good idea if you do it in a hurry.
he may well be in the RAF but have you really considered how your lifestyle may change being the wife of a serviceman? You could potentially be stationed anywhere away from your family and friends and who will you turn to should all of this by some means go poo-shaped? This is only one of the minor reasons why what you are doing is unwise and rushed
the more important one being....YOU may feel you know this man inside out, and that might even be true, but your kids might not feel the same way. Children are resilient but yours sound like they have been through quite a lot recently with your breakup from your ex partner.
Put them first. Wait.
Think of them first. They are not like adults and they don't handle emotional changes and upheavals in the same way
What do you have to lose by waiting?, if he is indeed your soul mate he will go nowhere and will wait for you for infinity.
Any man who really loves you will always respect you for being a good mother and agree that your children come first above all and everything.
Good luck dear
S
x
2006-06-27 06:21:35 · answer #2 · answered by lady_sephie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they say, 'Marry in haste, repent at leisure', It really does seem like you are going WAY too fast. I appreciate he is in the RAF and has to move around but you need to know that as a forces wife you and your children will also be moving around without your friends and family. Your family is just concerned about you and may feel that this is a rebound man. Does he not have to discuss this marriage with his CO as well. I'm sure his CO will have a few concerns too. You hardly know each other. I wouldn't advise marrying yet.
2006-06-27 04:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by ehc11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever thought that you are on the rebound. but if you truly know and there are absolutely NO doubts WHATSOEVER, i mean not anything, then go for it, but thing of the long term affect this could have on your children, what if this a whirlwind romance and wont last 5 minutes, do you really want to put your children through all that hassle, i would put them first, i mean, if your daughter, say, found a guy and after a month they wanted to get married, you would think its insane, but ecause its you, you seem oblivious to the real and sensible world, all i can say is think of the effect this will have on your children, you cannot possibly know everything about someone in a space of a month, so i think that your kids will think he is a complete stranger, give it more time, if you still together in 1-2 years, then re-consider, get to know this guy, or you may come to regret it later on, give your children the chance to get to know him, think to yourself, do i really know this guy well enough, or am i just on the rebound and scared of being alone for the rest of my life?" believe me, if you take time to yourself, real love once again will find you, good luck in all you do, i hope things turn out right for you
2006-06-27 04:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by glittershelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you've found your soul mate. Right now is going to be your best time ever. Relax and enjoy this moment, but please don't rush into anything until you're sure he will be your sole mate. The rest of your life is forever. If he really is right for you it won't matter if you marry now or later. Let your family talk about their concerns, and let them at least feel that you are taking it all on board. Then they will at least accept that you have given them some consideration.
2006-06-27 04:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by trebs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait! You can stay engaged, but one month is not long enough to get to know a person well enough to decide to spend your life with them. Move in together if you want, but give it at least another year before you decide to take such a huge and permanent step.
Your family is probably just worried about you- they don't want you to do anything that you will regret or that will hurt you.
2006-06-27 04:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never know if the water is hot or cold unless you plunge into it...Right? Just words of advice. . be strong for your kids, be open minded. . when you meet the other half's relatives, and when you give yourself to him. . don't forget to always save at least a ten percent for you to keep.. so if and only if ever things didn't worked out? I guess that ten percent is enough for you to move on again and to take you and your kids back home ;} Goodluck!
2006-06-27 05:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow wow wow wow calm down, look 4 weeks isn't long enough,really you need to give it longer, you're probably feeling so happy as you've just got out of a relationship, and this is totally different, calm downa little bit you really really gotta take thigns slowly
you may really wanna do it, but give it some more time your still in the honeymoon perdiod, i'm not sayinghe's not the one, but let him prove it before commiting yourself to a potential unhappy life, give it time to make sure ur so sure,again im not saying he isn't the one, but he's gotta prove it first
good luck :D
2006-06-27 04:35:49 · answer #8 · answered by me-jus-me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to burst your bubble but in the back of your mind you probably know your rushing into it. Why can't you go out places together and spend time with him, I know your in heaven right now but you dont need a ring on your finger to keep the feeling.
2006-06-27 04:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sam k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it mad? If you know that this is the man for you why wait?
If your family want you to be happy then they should understand.
I married my husband after 8 weeks and we are still (10 years on) together and we couldn't be happier.
2006-06-28 03:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋