My hubby's best friend lives two hours away from us. He called this morning, and my hubby found out that he is now sleeping with a married woman.
When my hubby and this man met, he was married. We have seen him through his divorce, two girlfriends, and now this situation. My hubby wants to end the 5 year friendship, since now he can't trust him to be alone with me. (I think he's a walking AIDS virus, so even if I was single, lonely, aroused, and drunk, nothing would happen) He has other problems as well, like drinking and smoking pot.
Should I encourage my hubby to end the friendship, or just let him decide what to do on his own?
2006-06-26 20:45:25 · 20 answers · asked by patience3987 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Encourage him to follow his heart. If you dislike this character, and it's bringing your man stress, then it's time to end a crap, one sided friendship.
I'm in a similar dilemma. I've had a best friend for seven years, but she's selfish and demanding and I'm sick of her crap. It's still hard to leave someone after all those years, but necessary for your mental health.
Good luck.
2006-06-26 20:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ending the friendship is only going to make your husband feel worse for abandoning his friend. He needs to confront him and let him know that he doesn't support what he's doing. Also tell the friend that the woman is married and even if they do end up together she'll just end up cheating on him (it's inevitable). If the friend is causing to much trouble then I would suggest cutting ties. Since he lives two hours away you'll be able to offer this rather blunt advice without being subjected to the full aftermath.
2006-06-27 03:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by wsucougal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your husband make the decision on the friendship issue and be there to listen, and help not encourage.
Maybe put some distance from the friend for awhile.
Men usually start thinking with what's between their ears in time.
2006-06-27 04:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell hubby it's understandable why he would want to end this friendship and he has all my support about this. I would leave it at that. No matter what he decides to do, he would know that I don't think much of this friend.
2006-06-27 03:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage your husband to be a friend and try to help the man first. Don't abandon him so fast, you may not know all the details or what kind of pain he is in himself.
If you give him a chance, he might love you for it and open up and see himself. If you don't, how different are you from anyone else who just gives up?
Not passing judgment here on you, and if I did, I would give you by far the benefit of the doubt. That's what we owe each other.
J
2006-06-27 03:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by filmjeff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should stop helping his friend if it's issues especially when your husband does not agree with what he is doing morally. Your husband should also tell his friend what he thinks of his antics.
I think if the support stops, the friendship will not last long after that. Needy people tend to flock to people who will help them time after time.
As for the fear of him being alone with you, that should not be a problem if your husband trusts you.
2006-06-27 03:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his friend and his choice to end it, continue it, etc.
How would you feel if he came to you and said " stop seeing Beth, I hate her " you'd feel controlled.
If he is already thinking of ending the friendship then let him be, he is working out how to do it and sounds like he is already going to do it.
Whatever he chooses just support it. If he ditches him, then good riddance, dead weight removed. If he keeps him, he is at least a caring person and wants to help the guy. Either way you win so just sit back and let the man be a man.
2006-06-27 03:51:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him decide for himself.
As long as your husband trusts you, whats the problem.
Maybe the two of you should just take a break from the "friendship", but be there for your friend when he sorts himself out.
2006-06-27 03:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you had better check out the source.....he may be jealous because of the person he is seeing.....i cant see ending a friendship over that kinda crap......men dont think about that stuff....and if he is worried that he will come on to you then he dont trust you much
2006-06-27 03:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just encourage him to ditch him, since he is already thinking about that. He can still act polite when he calls, but he does not need to visit.
2006-06-27 03:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋