How to make my husband "alive" again?

Question

i've a very wonderful and caring husband but there's one problem about him. He's not sexually active at all, and at most we will only have sex once a month. I've tried all sorts of way to make him "alive" again but no avail. Rest assured, he's not having affair outside. That's his character since i knew him. And i did ask him about this situation but he couldn't help at all..Or am i requesting too much?

Answer 1

I would say have him checked for testosterone level and sugar diabetes. He might have depression. Depending on his age could have something to do with it. There are many things that could be causing him low testosterone level.

Answer 2

I think you need to take an honest assessment of your marriage. There must be something distancing him from you. Whether it's about you, him or you both you need to communicate and resolve this; it's affecting both of you.

Before my divorce I may have had sex 3 times with my wife in 6 months. I loved her beyond anything, but her constant unwillingness to compromise made it difficult to be intimate with her. I know they say "we're men" and we're "like dogs", but when real love is involved we are no different than women. How can we feel love when our overiding emotion is animosity? This lack of wanting to be close to her led her to do the wrong thing ... which is infidelity. It's not my fault regardless, however as a loving spouse I should have looked for the signs and addressed them.

I'm sure you'll resolve this, but go into it with open-ended questions such as "How do you feel about XYZ?". Questions with yes or no as a possible answer will never get you anywhere in a discussion like this. Also, listen. If he doesn't answer just sit there and listen. People will eventually say something. It's an amazing trick to get people to open up and that opening up will start you on the right path. Also, don't rule out counseling.

Answer 3

First he needs to share your interest to be more active. Does he want to be but feels he's lost it? If so, start with a doctor to determine if there's some reason. Could be physical or psychological.

If he's simply lost interest in general, he may not have the motivation. Some people have different sex drives. If that's the way he's been since you've known him, then you knew what you were getting.

Answer 4

It may be a medical problem. You might encourage him to have his annual checkup. Also, having a date night to get away from the daily stresses might help loosen him up. The longer you are married, the less you tend to fix yourself up. Go to a salon and get a full treatment so you feel good about yourself and he knows you care about looking good for him. Plan a suprise night out. You could learn about something he is very interested in to show you care about him. If all that fails, try wearing a wig and play out a fantasy of his.

Answer 5

I think you should tell your hubby what you need from him as well. this relationship is not just his relationship it is yours as well. and together i am sure you 2 can come to a compromise. I think it is the matter of making your needs known because most women won't bring there voice out about needing sexual affection and suffer in silence. It is not just your job to make him alive it is also his job to make you happy as well. If it is physical then maybe he should see a doctor or maybe there is something more to it and you need to find a counsellor to open the underlying problem. GOOD LUCK I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

Answer 6

I know how you feel coz Ive been to that situation. My husband is 2oyrs older than me. We were sexually active before our child was born. We were so busy now and couldn't even have the energy to make love. However, we always have a great time during our vacations and we found out that making love in the morning, when we had enough rest and just before our daughter wakes up, is more exciting that to make love at night. I used to nag him on making love (women have to admit that we are horny most of the time), but my husband called me as obsessed with sex. It surely hurt my feelings, but realized maybe I was. So i just stopped talking about sex, and try to control myself. Maybe he needs a break. I continued to be as nurturing and as atractive as I can be to my husband. In return, he would give me compliments, offer me massage that would eventually lead to making love without even asking. Now, we're both happy and Im finally feel contented on the number of times we make love. I just quit counting.

Hope my story will help you. One more thing, my husband bought me a couple of Vibrators to help me.

Answer 7

He is that way, and there is no help You can give to him. It may sound funny, but I think he should have an affair, just to see what he already has at his home. After that affair, either he will go better to You, or he will divorce You, which is both better for You than the present situation.

Answer 8

Your husband should see a doctor, and be open with him. His testosterone level may be very low.. for that he can simply take some medication. He may not even be aware of this, as many men aren't. So for him, his lack of interest in sex, seems very normal. Talk to your doctor yourself, about the situation. Maybe he can give you some pamphlets to show your husband.

Answer 9

Maybe you guys need to get away at least for the weekend. Stress free should work if it doesnt then go to the doctors. Get a makeover to spice things up. Sex is very important and even if you love him it wont work. Let him know this and try to work it out for your marriage.

Answer 10

there may be something going on with him at work or something. Its not like most men turn down sex, hey i asked a question concerning my self becouse "i want to have sex with my husband" the problem is with in me. not him, he wants it (not all the time) and i want to beable to give it to him like a man needs it. But why cant i get in the mood, we work together have a baby together. i love him to death, he loves me just as your husband loves you. i belive sex is just so revolved in relationships people think sex is what makes the relationship, its not, COMMUNICATION IS KEY. maybe he does seriously need viagra. Dont give up and keep helping him. Helping him is helping you.

Answer 11

I know that you're asking me, but seriously, my answer would be to ask Dr. Laura. I've heard her help people with similar problems before, and thinking yeah, that's a great answer! But I didn't keep it in long term memory because I don't have that problem (29 yo man).

Good luck ok?