I need a serious answer.?

Question

I'm bi-sexual, and I have come out to my friends and my siblings, but my parents have no idea. I've been having trouble telling them because, although they have never given me a reason to believe that they would hate me for it, I know they dissapprove of "the gays"(as they call them). I need some help on how to let them know without overwhelming them with it.

This is for smilingontime.
THIS IS NOT A FAZE. I have known practically all my life that I was attracted to girls as well as boys. This is not something I do to be "cool" this is who I am. Maybe you "experimented" but this is for real.
I need to tell my parents, because other then this I am very open with my parents and I hate to be keeping something from them. I don't want to fall for a girl and never be able to introduce her to my parents because they "don't need to know".

Answer 1

As the mom of a bisexual daughter. I say be honest with them. We as parents love our children and want them to be comfortable enough to be able to come to us with anything.Though I may not approve of her choices I stand behind 100% . She is my daughter and no choice she makes could ever change the love I have for her. My love and prayers go out to you honey.

Answer 2

You've gone part way in telling your siblings and friends. I hate to say this but the truth will out, eventually. Better that it come from you in a quiet family discussion than that they hear it second or third hand.

Get them alone and start with "Mum, Dad I've got someting to tell you and I don't think you're going to like it."

After a short pause, when you know that they're listening, take a deep breath and then say " I do like boys but I also like girls"

They'll look at you, quizzically, "I'm bisexual!" you'll continue

How are your parents going to react?

Possibly, with disappointment and hurt which, because they love you, they'll do their best to forget. But not before 20 questions of "How?" What did I do wrong" how can you"...and probably some tears - it's unavoidable and painful for all concerned.

Still better than it, inadvertently, being slipped into conversation by someone else and their confronting you about it, though.

As the French would say "Courage!"

Answer 3

I have the same problem. Everyone in my life, save for my parents, know that I'm bi. While my folks don't exactly voice opinions on 'the gays', they don't seem to consider homosexuality a part of their world. The few gay guy friends I've brought home have been met with interested looks and raised eyebrows, but nothing hostile. However me coming out to them at this stage, might be shocking and confusing.

By introducing them gradually to more LGBT folk and making it a part of their world too, they'll probably see that they're normal, good people too and it will also get them used to the idea. Getting them to talk it out and share your opinions on a few of the gay issues, might let them know that it's important to you, and perhaps on some level they'll know, and it won't be that much of a shock when you actually tell them. Additionally it may root out what exactly they disapprove of, which you guys can then talk out (again).

After all this, well there's nothing else you can do apart from just telling them. So don't stall too long, since it's probably better for them to find out through honest conversation with you, instead of accidentally.
So good luck to you... and good luck to me too!

Answer 4

your parents dont need to know you like to kiss chicks.. its probably just a faze.. sounds like you are just a horny young lady right now... just keep it to yourself for now.... I know you probably think being bi is like the coolest thing in the world... and you probably love to prance around holding hands with girls and having boyfriends on the side... etc etc

i know you think youre having so much fun cos you probably are...

but maybe its a faze and if it is a faze your gonna regret coming out to your parents.

plus think about it do you really need to tell your parents youre sexual. why did you even tell your siblings?

but if you have every intention on telling your parents your bisexual...I say
just be outspoken on gay and bi rights... start off gradually.. thats the best advice I can give you

also in time if you are really that proud you'll be having girlfriends over and your parents will eventually figure it out... especially if your friends are the type of gays who are loud about it...

but like I said its sounds like a faze in a few months your gonna claim full on lesbian and that faze will last a year or two

eventually you'll wanna feel normal. Maybe have a baby and fall in love with a man.....

.. realizing you're a straight woman





o and to respond to your addition details

"girl, thats what i said"

LMAO

but go ahead tell mom and dad youve muff dived

i know for a fact i gave you great advice.

i must of struck a nerve cos you got all huffy.

never the less i do wish you well



:)

Answer 5

There really isn't much advice that can be given in this situation. Everyone's experience coming out to friends/family is different. The only way to do it is to just tell them. They are going to take it however they are going to take it. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I don't know you or your parents.

I would say just tell them and let things take its course. I think it will work out fine in the end. It may take them a little while to be able to deal with it, but they will.

Answer 6

Sometimes, people's hatred is based upon the unknown - and not knowing any people who are part of a minority group. Your parents might take a different tune eventually (if not immediately) once they knew that someone close to home is part of the group.

If you came out to your parents as bisexual, you might have to put up with their potential misunderstandings of bisexuality. For example, they might try convincing you that you are "just confused" (society's popular misconception that you are one or the other). Alternatively, they might come up with something along the lines of the following "if you have a potential to be attracted to the opposite sex, then why don't you get an opposite sex partner - why would you consider a same sex partner?"

Bisexuals have the added trouble of having to explain the concept of bisexuality to a society who doesn't understand them.

Answer 7

Same thing I tell everyone else. Think about the worst case scenario that you really think YOUR parents are capable of. Think about what you have in place to deal with that. Proceed carefully.
Do they know that you don't disapprove of "the gays"? You might talk about some of the issues, see if they start to understand things a little more. Or, it might be better to save that for later. Good luck with whatever happens.

(Oh, right. P.S. If the worst-case scenario involves you not living with your parents anymore, wait till that's no longer an issue)

Answer 8

I told my mom and gave her a book right away. It was for parents of gay children, I came out when I was 20 and I'm bi not gay, but it still worked. If you do it this way, be sure to read the book first, it may not work for you. Also sadly, you may have to hold off if you live at home still. Don't tell them when you are angry, it should never be a weapon. Tell them calmly, have your siblings around for support, but don't gang up. And good luck!

Answer 9

I am bisexual and I am living the straight life. I wish that I had come out years ago and not gotten married. I am a complete 3 on the Kinsey scale I am married to a wonderful woman and have been faithful to her for 20 years. I still desire the touch of a man I still fantasize about men I am tortured with this burning desire for a man every day. I Love my wife and our love making is incredibly fulfilling yet still I have an ache that wont go away. I live half a life and wish that it didn't have to be so. It is not my wife's fault that I am bisexual she had no idea when we got married I was battling with in myself for acceptance of my sexual orientation. I knew that I wanted women as much as I wanted men so I married thinking I would find fulfillment and not have to act on my bisexual desires. It is a constant struggle not to give in to the temptation. I think you are making the right decision by coming out to your family and friends. You will be able to live as God intended you to live. I am 40 years old and if I ever come out I will have to start my life over from scratch. I will lose my family and most of my friends. When you make friends as a couple you generally lose them if you split up. I have too much to lose to come out now. Good luck in your situation.

Answer 10

Call on the support of your siblings. Have them there when you tell your parents. Pick a time when they are not under a lot of stress (while they are making dinner or leaving for work would not be a good time).