My boyfriend that i am with now has a myspace and thats how we got to know eachother better from school. i have been with my bf 7 months now but i cannot get over the things he has done. He gave me his password to it and i found that he was flirting with girls on there by mail and bulletins. It tore me apart to know that while we were at our one month he told this girl he wanted to kiss her for christmas(they're friends and it was a would you kiss me under the mistletoe bulletin) but i might get mad at him and that he doesn't think she would want to kiss him anyways . they were flirting around and it just sickened me. is this cheating =[?
and i cant get over it even though it has been six months ago. i never told him until recently. i never thought that he was playing me and when i found out i cut myself. I gave him everything and i loved him. why the f**k did he do it? he said he has changed but im not sure anymore. what should i do? when i see him i want to cry for him hurting me
2006-06-26 18:17:52 · 15 answers · asked by Arizona 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Betrayal is very painful and difficult to recover from. If you are cutting yourself to deal with the pain, please, please, please get some help. Begin with a hotline if you can't get a face-to-face with a counselor.
His behavior was cheating to you, within your emotional world. You need no other definition beyond that. You need to be emotionally involved with people who share your emotional values. Anything else just opens you up to constant emotional chaos.
Please learn how to love without giving a boy/man "everything." Knowing how to set emotional boundaries is necessary for us to live emotionally healthy lives.
The fact that you're cutting yourself shows that you don't have the tools in your emotional tool kit that are necessary for dealing with life's challenges. Please respect yourself, value yourself and get help to gain the emotional tools necessary to live a healthy & fulfilling life.
You deserve no less.
2006-06-26 18:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by Jera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been betrayed and disrespected, and that's the bottom line. Your boyfriend has no honor, and has a weak character. here is how to handle this one: 1) Calmly (in-person if you can do this on neutral ground--not his or your place), explain to him the hurt and sense of disrespect and betrayal he has caused you and that you will not allow him nor any other man to try to take away your honor and self respect. 2) Let him know that you love him very much, but you must let him go. 3) Have a friend drive you there and be waiting outside in the car.. Get up calmly, say good-bye and leave. Do not turn back. he will be calling, emailing, etc. If you then want to try again with him, understand that he may say he will change, but may not be able too. He will need to prove himself, take it slow, see others, and do not commit to him. Make him prove his love if there ever will be any. You will find out over time, you will know if its right. As his actions, not his words, will be totally different from anything you have experienced before if he has changed. Pray to God asking him to give you strength and wisdom to say and do the right things, and to remove the yearning if your Bf is not the one for you.
2006-06-26 18:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by David A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, cool down. I don't see any outright proof that he's cheating on you. You just read a question he wrote to a girl you and he know about a mistletoe kiss (which may, if it would have happened, been on the cheek). But the kiss did NOT happen.
Flirty emails? None of the women responding have said "You were great in bed last night", otherwise you wouldn't be here asking for help. Again, bear in mind: he gave YOU his myspace password, pretty stupid for a guy w/ something to hide....UNLESS THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE.
But let's look at you for a second: You get explosively emotional, highly suspicious/paranoid....and you CUT yourself???
Do you sound like a girl a guy would want to be around....or run away from????
2006-06-26 18:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to read of your pain.
Listen it always starts somewhere and in your b/f's case it was flirty e-mails and posts.Generally it will move to something more..maybe messenger,then phone..then in person etc.
The biggest thing is when you told him you knew,how did he react?Did he admit to it and not defend what he did,and seem genuinely sorry?Or did he make excuses and get defensive?
If he made excuses for his behavior and got defensive then I would say he is definitely going to go farther with the next girl online,so it is probably best to cut your losses now.
Guys will treat you as bad as you allow them to.
Good Luck :)
2006-06-26 18:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is tough! well check his myspace again and see if it is still happening and if it is then dump it dump *** on the curb and find you a new man but if nothing is going on then tust him but not fully and girl here's my other thing i need to tell you that you didn't asked don't ever give a guy you whole heart untill he gives you a ring cuz if you guys break up then he's going to take part of your heart with him and you will most likely never be complete
2006-06-26 18:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by plams95 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were only going out for 1 month when he did this. Maybe his feelings were not as strong for you as they are now. He is probably sincere when he said he won't do it again. I know this must hurt you very much, but for the sake of your relationship you must put it behind you and give him a chance to prove himself.
2006-06-26 18:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by Izzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the question is has he done anything? if he has then there is a problem, if he hasnt well you still need to keep your eye on him cause it sounds like he may stray..maybe he isnt ready for committment just yet if hes talking about kissing other girls.
2006-06-26 18:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont give a lot of importance, life is short: enjoy it!
flirting by Internet is not so bad... tell him u dont feel good with this stuff, and if he stills doin things that hurts u ... just go, there r lots of fishes in the sea... good luck!
2006-06-26 18:23:14 · answer #8 · answered by Dulce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl.. even though you have been with him so long i would let him know that you are unhappy with the way he is acting and that you would like him to change if he does not want to do so, then i think it is best if you call it quits you can find better...
2006-06-26 18:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by MANDY .S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend gives hope when life is low. A friend is a place where you can go. A friend is honest- A friend is true. A friend is precious. A friend is u!
2006-06-26 18:29:52 · answer #10 · answered by arajaajmali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋