My husband will go to a porn site ( not saying which one) on a regular basis. Sometimes it bothers me when I am home because I wish he would be looking at me in the same way as the women he is looking at online. What really bothers me is when I am at work he will go to that same website for hours on end. Yet when I walk in the door he will delete the history files. I have asked him time and time again not to do this because it makes me feel that he is hiding something. His "excuse" is i was told to delete temporary internet files every time I turn off computer. I feel he is truly hiding something from me. Also there was once a time when we had each other's passwords for our emails. Now he changes his constantly ever since I found an email from a dating site. It wasn't one of the advertisements you sometimes get. He accuses me of being unfaithful yet i am willing to let him see all my online history and passwords. What would your thoughts be???
2006-06-26 18:05:59 · 35 answers · asked by lil_angel_21469 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no doubt that he is hiding something and it is very likely more than just the porn site.
Think about installing some spy software or a key logger on your computer without his knowledge. One example of this is Spy Software http://www.spyarsenal.com/. There may be some free ones out there, this one runs about $30. This particular one claims to be completely stealthy.
This will either confirm your fears or prove that they were unfounded.
2006-06-26 18:08:04 · answer #1 · answered by Lubers25 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn does not make a guy a pervert. Sometimes we enjoy looking at the chicks because they are simply just a peice of meat at that point. I would never want to look at my wife in those eyes.
As far as the e-mail thing... sounds fishy to me. I will admit I have done that in the past because I WAS hidding something. Not any more though. I leave everything right there because I decided I didn't want to do anything I wouldn't want my wife to know about.
Just tell him how you feel and be honest with him. If that doesn't work get a spy program that takes screen shoots and records key strokes. Then when he's out of the house you can do some investigation ... find something you don't like you can call him on it. Find nothing and you have nothing to worry about.
Good Luck
2006-06-26 18:11:09 · answer #2 · answered by Just B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people delete those files to keep the hard drive from using up all the disk space. It may be that he is hiding something but who knows. Alot of you people don't understand the fact that men are visual and like to LOOK AT SEX!!! And being married to the same person forever he is going to get bored with you once in a while, so be happy he is only looking. Why not watch it with him, stop being such a prude. Just remember that even steak and lobster get boring if you eat it every day.
2006-06-26 18:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what, your husband is full of ****, spending hours and hours on the computer is not something a married, busy man ( or woman ) would do. If he spends that much time and he deletes files and **** is obvious he is hiding something, now, he could also be doing something illegal ( like watching porn involving kids ) which you would have to do something to stop him from doing because is not only illegal but it is progressive, I'm sure you want to help him before he does something stupid. About you giving him your passwords " **** him " he is just playing the old "you are cheating on me and I'm pissed off so leave me alone " trick. I was going to suggest you get rid of the computer but better yet get rid of your husband.
2006-06-26 18:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by mat_vvv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sisters husband was doing the same thing. He ended up meeting a woman online and he started seeing her behind my sisters back. She finally found out and now they are divorced. It was final June 12th. I put a password on my computer so no one can get online while I am working. I bought the computer and pay for the internet services so I have the right to do so. If they weren't so sneaky I wouldn't have to do it. My boyfriend was using my computer to go to online dating sites when I caught him he just said he was bored and just looking around and didn't mean anything by it. Why look if your not serious. I didn't buy it so now he can't get on unless I let him.
2006-06-26 18:14:03 · answer #5 · answered by lostinlove 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you but he is hiding something. I was in the exact same situation with my ex, but I was the one doing exactly what your husband is doing now. My ex husband and I had a horrible marriage and I was desperate for something else but I was trapped financially and otherwise in my marriage. It was a desperate act to connect with someone else, an act I would not repeat now. I didn't necessary visited porn sites, but a guy will, they have different needs. I just got involved with someone else and that finally led to my divorce. I kept erasing history and kept attacking my ex: the best defense is offense...
I strongly suggest that you talk him into marriage counceling ASAP AND please use condoms if you are having sex with him, you never know where and with whom he has been. You need to try to intercept before it's too late.
There is also a film out there, called "cyber-seduction, his secret life", it's about a 16 year old boy who gets addicted to internet porn and it ruins his life at home and in school. There is a friend of his mom in it who will talk about her ex-husband acting very similarly, and how it has ruined her marriage. It is considered an addiction problem and you and your husband need help.
Feel free to email me if you need support: szbeylik@yahoo.com
2006-06-26 18:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by sissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think it, it's probably so...
Don't get excited and don't get mad, just let him know that you feel like he's spending too much time visiting/communicating with those web sites, .that you should be the object of his affection and that what he's doing is hurting you.
Next, change all of your passwords and don't tell him what they are... trust is a two way street. Besides, he shouldn't be reading any of your mail/email to begin with; and, he should respect your privacy. This is a strong part of all healthy relationships.
Most importantly, try not to get emotional, just state the facts and hold your ground.
Good Luck
2006-06-26 18:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by John Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is talk to him about what bothers you, are you going to stop him from going to porn sites not likely he is a man after all. About the dating sites most likely he signed up in one of those free pornsites with his email and he keeps getting junk mail, if you say he isnt than you might have a problem that only you and him can resolve.
2006-06-26 18:10:56 · answer #8 · answered by wiseornotyoudecide 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be a bit worried, myself. He isn't being honest with you, which is the first problem. He's hiding things, and it might not end with the computer. I wish I had some advice...I would probably go crazy and try to figure out a way to get his password to see what's REALLY going on...
2006-06-26 18:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by dmonstergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say to tell him that if hes not satisfied with the woman he married then i don't know why we should be together. It's obvious that he has someone on the side. And maybe this is because there's not enough intimacy in your relationship! I would get on his email address, talk to this mystery nobody he claims it to be, tell them to meet you somewhere, and see if its really true. And he only calls you unfaithful because he tries to reflect his guilt onto you for his unfaithfulness.
But don't worry, things will get better once you find out the truth.
2006-06-26 18:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by Smurf1002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋