My husband talks for hours on web cam chats to other women. His talk is suggestive if not outright sexual, including asking to see body parts or showing himself on camera. I say this is cheating because it takes from our marriage and fills his head with ideas. He cheated once becasue of this four years ago and I just can't tolarate this. He says it is harmless. I need to hear from women AND men.
2006-06-26 17:49:29 · 69 answers · asked by Greencastle PS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Essentially it is emotional cheating...which in some cases can be more hurtfull then physical cheating! If he has cheated in the past and is continuing to talk to women the way he does it is bound to happen again so I would say yes, it is cheating because he is not respecting you and he is emotionally and almost physically with another woman! He is obviously fantasizing about these women and thinking thoughts he should not think if he is in a happy marriage! He seems like he has some self confidence issues and needs attention from lots of people to make himself feel good! Also, these women are real people that he is in communication with and could essentialy meet up with for further continuation of their despicable on-line conversations. It's a lot more different then seeing a naked woman that he will never meet on TV...that's not cheating...but to purposly talk to woman and ask to see them naked when these are people he could potentialy meet is definitely cheating emotionally with the huge potential for physical cheating! All and all...not fair to you, and probibly not something he would want you to do to him!
2006-07-10 09:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by ~*Pamcake*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband probably rationalizes this as not cheating because he isn't actually physically with these women. But anything that takes from your marriage is cheating you out of your marriage. Ask him if he would still feel it's harmless if he found you chatting and showing yourself to other guys, etc....There is such a thing even as emotional cheating...when you have unhealthy close relationships with other people and become emotionally attached to them that they take the place of your spouse...when you start discussing your problems with them regularly, seeking advice and their opinion matters more than your spouse, and things of that nature. This form of cheating is just a temptation that leads to physical cheating. People don't handle temptation well all the time so your husband needs to get rid of the temptation so he doesn't repeat what happened four years ago and if he isn't willing to you may want to consider showing him you can't tolerate this anymore.
2006-06-26 18:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by missconduct 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although not technically cheating, in the sense that he isn't engaging in intercourse, it still, as you say, is detracting from your marriage on many levels -- trust, intimacy, etc. Further, it is opening himself up to situations that could very lead to cheating, as you said has happened before. You might sit down with him and address the fact that he could be addicted to online activity. There are support groups and specialists trained in this very problem. Also, you might consider getting into some sort of therapy, too. The bottom line here is that what he is considering "harmless" behavior is NOT harmless because it bothers you. That should be enough.
2006-07-09 09:22:09 · answer #3 · answered by writerboy69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey let me tell you iv had that same problem and it makes you feel like crap.Yes it is cheating for sure and no you should not take that at all but.you have to realize that he does not want just you he thinks he is big enough to have anyone and he is a stupid man he also thinks he can tell you something and you will believe it.my old man did it then he started seen one of the girls telling her that he loved her and i found out.now all i know he does is look at porn and i still get mad about that because he hides it.Your old man is lusting for other women and not you he don't want just you.talk to him about it and try to work things out see what you and he can do to change it if it helps leave for a while but.just tell your self that you are better then that and you deserve more i did and now I'm happy but truly he will keep doing it and nothing you say or do will change it runs a marriage of live it did mine.good luck
2006-07-09 19:56:52 · answer #4 · answered by sophiababie03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not harmless, this is definitely a red flag. Especially because he has cheated on you before. Give an ultimatum, then put a block on the computer so he can't do it anymore. If it was me, I would file for divorce, but that is just me. I want to be #1 with my husband. The fact that he disregards your feelings is not a good sign. Leave him and see if the webcam can keep him company when you are gone!
2006-06-27 05:32:20 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Don't feel its cheating if you have trust in him then why worry my man chats on the computer all the time as well i as i do and yes we have a web cam but we met on line and we are very happy together we don't care what each other does we know where we are at night in each others arms you have to trust him if not your marriage will never work
2006-07-10 16:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by Billie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is still cheating. Would he like it if you were showing your body to other men? And I can't see much difference in showing your body off on web cams and flashing people on the streets. he's still showing what no other woman besides his wife should be seeing. My husband agrees with me. I can't understand why you took him back if he cheated on you once before or why you are tolerating this behavior now. Leave him!!!
2006-07-10 06:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by lady_dragonfly_27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men are interested in sex.
The internet offers cybersex now via webcam/chat. Is it cheating? I dont think it is technically. Is going to a strip club cheating?
Granted, anyone who goes to strip clubs everyday has something wrong with them.
I would guess that your husband has a strong sexual drive which he is uncomfortable in sharing with you completely for some reason. That combined with an addiction to online porn/cybersex - which may require treatment by the way.
But the key phrase is "I just cant tolerate this". Obviously, you need to decide what is important to you and then take action on that. If you arent happy, then you are doing something wrong... not him.
2006-07-10 02:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes This is cheating. You know its not right and so does he. Why does he have to be on the Internet chatting with other women? You are right there. And to ask to see there body parts? There is no respect. You don't deserve that.
2006-07-06 15:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by ♫†☼☼♥Natasha♥☼☼†♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is defines as the physical act of sexual intercourse between to adults in different monogamous relationships. However, it is still hurtful and downright ignorant. Do not let this continue if you value your relationship. Confront him, attempt to resolve it, and as a last course, propose a termination of the relationship. It sucks, I know, but if it is bothering you that much, then something must be done about it.
Good Luck.
2006-07-09 10:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by T-Bone DeRage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋