Quite a few years ago I looked ino the eyes of a guy that almost instantly grabbed my heart. He moved away and we never did get to know eachother. I know how crazy this sounds that's why only the true romantics will understand. I'm happily married and no I'm not planning an afair. But why is he sill in my heart? Please share your thoughts.
2006-06-26 17:40:34 · 20 answers · asked by snowhite 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He touched a part of you that no one else touched.Maybe it was his smile, or the kind words he spoke to you at just the right moment for you to hear them. He gave you what you needed most at just the right time, just by being there. It is ok to hold a soft spot in your heart for such a person. It is a crush and adults get them too, Just don't let it come between you and what you have in front of you right now. Don't throw away what you have worked for, instead sit down with your partner and explain what you need from him. If he has 1/2 a brain he will find a way to meet your needs, wants and desires.
2006-06-27 08:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is an agreement. Throughout your life you will come in contact with people and places for which you have a special affinity. Those people and places have things for you, good or bad. You sense those things because they were designed for you to sense, to get your attention. That doesn't mean you'll instantly know what they're for, or that it's always pleasant. But what it is, is real in a very fundamental, important way that overshadows the more mundane aspects of your life.
Marriage is an arrangement. As much as we like to think of it as a special bond, it's really just a contract. Even with the best of intentions, that contract is as good as the intentions that made it. The best way to think of it is a formal recognition of your peers that you and your spouse are now a family independant of your previous families. Marriage does not add what is not already there to the substance of a relationship, and therefore, you should only get married if you and your spouse already feel that you are, and act that way.
These feelings you have for the other person are important. They are there to tell you something, but following up on them violates your promise. I would suggest that you do investigate the feelings you have with the other person, and be open and honest about it with your spouse. Not, er, sexually, but talk to this other person as a friend, and get a better understanding for what it is you're thinking of, but keep your promises.
You may discover that what you needed from that person was very important, but didn't require you to tarnish your vows at all.
2006-06-27 00:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by shhh9 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first one that grabs at your heart is always going to remain in your heart. It is probably hard to let it go because you never knew that what if. Even though you love your husband and loved him so to take marriage vowels, doesn't mean that you forget what had and effect on you in the past. It's hard to let the one go that had your heart first. There was someone that had my heart before I met the man that I married but I love my husband and nothing could change that. Some people just have a great effect on you. It's not a bad thing but it seems you both moved on so I would let the what if go. Just be thankful of what you had then and what you have now.
2006-07-07 22:41:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, heres the thing. I am very happily married, but I am going to do a bit of soul bearing here. and I do know that you will understand because I too have the same thing going on for me. Years ago, I sort of dated this guy, it was incredibly, romantic for a while, he would take me dancing, and we would go riding around, and such things. Well we became good friends (and you know what I mean) He would sing to me, and when we danced he would look deep into my eyes, and he would sing to me, it melted my heart, and made me say wow....well we wanted different things...and marriage was'nt really part of his plan, and neither were children, and I wanted both of those, but I never pushed the issue, but his eyes, they were so beautiful, and soul bearing, that i could feel him deep inside my soul. I do think of him often, even though I dont know where he is. I dont know if i was ever in love with him, thats not something i'm sure I will ever be sure of. But yes I am deeply in love with my Husband..he is a wonderfull man that is everything to me. I truly beleave that in every womans life there was that one man, that they will never be able to get out of there heads, even though your not planning an affair, you really should'nt let your hubby know, because then it will always leave him wondering. But dont worry, there is nothing wrong with the memorie in your heart of that man, it will help to keep you young, knowing that you got to look into the eyes of that one man that just made your heart leap. I promise.
2006-07-04 20:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by addybme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal and part of our very existence and drive for fulfillment in life and its typically referred to as the "what ifs" in life. While we will all experience more of these moments in life than we could ever possibly hope to fulfill, we still remember them even if only because there wasn't time or room enough in our lives to do so.
2006-06-27 00:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably the embodiement of a fantasy from when you were younger you relationship with your husband is probably grown tired and because you feel the need for change this mystery guy represents change and that is why you are still dwelling on him if you add a bit of spice to your relationship the mystery guy will fade from your thoughts
2006-07-07 21:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by chloe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love at first site is karma, you had a karmatic moment, he may have been the one but for some reason you are with this man and need to just let life flow and don't rock the boat, if it is trully meant to be it will in time
2006-06-27 00:45:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snowhite.. wake up. You're imagining what could have been because you're not satisfied with what you choose to do. It's called a misopportunity. Your husband thinks about all the girls he could be banging right now or should have before he settled.
2006-07-08 13:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by hiplaque 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we just connect with people like that.....cherish it, who knows what the future holds...it made you feel special in a way that you have probably never experienced before, consider it a private gift.....bet it still makes you smile to think of it!
2006-06-27 01:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by one_charmed_01 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it has been said that a persons eyes are the window to the soul maybe the clique about having one true soul mate is true he might have been yours (just a thought from a hopeless romantic myself
2006-06-27 00:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by wtf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋