Why does a person mistake have to follow them forever?

Question

I have been faced with a hard decision and i feel that it is impossble to answer. I keep letting past events cloud my judgement. I try not to, but it always happens that way. Can someone explain to me how to get past this mistake? ts not my mistake...and yet it invovles me. Even though it is not my mistake i had to live with the consquences and I think thats why it keeps popping up in this decision. Please help.

it wasn't my mistake like some of you say it was my dad's mistake so it involves me because that mistake took him out of my life for 14years and im 16

Answer 1

Actually it doesn't have to be put this way...
But the people in our society have put it this way...
They enjoy counting on people's flaws instead of the good...
Don't blame yourself dear, these people aren't worth it...
Live for yourself and leave whatever people say or think...

After all, in the end of day no one knocks the door to see whether you are alive or death. Why are you blaming yourself for nothing beneficial?

Answer 2

You say it is not your mistake, but you had to live with the consequences. First, were you part of the decision-making? If so, it was partly your mistake. If not, it wasn't your mistake, but it affected you. Now, a situation has come which in some way reminds you of that other time, so learn from the past. Don't ignore it, analyze who decided what, and where did they go wrong? Why did it turn out the way it did? Analyze this situation. How is it similar? Were both based on wishful thinking or on reality? Now decide and expect the worst, but hope for the best, and be willing to settle for something in between. Good luck. And as time goes by, this too will fade.

Answer 3

Hi,
Well, it doesnt' have to, but it often does. So, I think your real question may be "Why does it?"

Here is the deal. Repeated patterns are an indication of what I call "negativity". In the average adult on the planet today, 97.4% of all your thoughts are negativity. Your old thoughts--most from before you were even 5--are working against you. Since you create your life with your thoughts, this is a problem. Worse, 96.4% of them are hidden to you. Others might notice them in you (you may have noticed them in others) but you don't see your own because they are hidden.

It takes 26 days to change the pattern that is stored in your physical body. So, if you want to change your situation, you need to create a new focus. Your thoughts of today create your future. Focus only on what you choose, not what is happening now.

A second thing you can do is an exercise I call "Re-Writing the past". Instead of seeing the situation as it happened, see it as you would have liked it to happen. Because even dwelling on the past will continue to recreate it...

If you want to tell me more specifics, I will be happy to help you craft an exact phrase to focus on. The words do matter. I have some free resources on my website, too.

Warmly,
Pam
www.PamRagland.com

Answer 4

You make mistakes to learn from them. Mistakes can either make you or break you. Instead of letting it cloud your judgment let it help you. Ask yourself why it was a mistake and what you could of done differently and there is your answer. If it involves you then it is into your mistake. the more you pass the blame the more this is going to cloud your judgment. Own up to it and learn from it. We are all human it is in our nature to make mistakes. No human has not made a mistake or bad decision.

Answer 5

It depends what type of decision you are about to make. concerning your past events clouding your judgment, if you are an adult you know right from wrong. Your past experience should allow you to make the correct decision. You get past your mistakes by letting them go and recognizing that then is then and now is now. Also, don't forget that we only live once and if you focus your mind in the past when you realize that you are in the present it will be to late to actually make a difference or improving yourself.

Answer 6

Well, it would help to know what the big mistake was...
Mistakes are life lessons. If the reprecussions of our actions disappeared completely, we wouldn't learn from them.
But, sometimes we elaborate on what really happened, and the mistake is blown out of proportion in our minds. If that's the case, perhaps you haven't come to terms fully with it.
I think it would be beneficial to talk to someone you trust about it, so that you can explain the situation fully. Definitely don't keep it all to yourself. That never ends well.

Answer 7

Try to find a way to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes that we reget, especially when we had control over the situation - the guilt and shame can tear someone apart. If you need to, apologize to the people you hurt - this can help with having more compassion for yourself.

Also know that only good people feel guilt/remorse - psychopaths are incapable of feeling guilt or shame.

Answer 8

I'm not quite sure what you're asking, but here's some advice: you can't change the past. What's done is done. You need to understand that it was not your mistake and move on. There's no use dwelling on something that happened in the past.

Answer 9

what you do makes you who you are but just as a mistake follows you forever so do all the things that you have done right in your life. The side you choose to dwell on promotes how you feel about yourself(life)

Answer 10

Some things we have control over. Some things we THINK have control over us. Two things:

1. Why should you give much thought to people that don't think much about you? Why are they entitle to your precious time? They're not important.

2. You will always be your worst enemy. Never defeat yourself. Remind yourself that others will be what they are - people. They can't help it! They're not you. But you are you! :-) Sounds odd? But it's important. You need to care about yourself, respect yourself, and hold yourself in high regard despite what others think. To do otherwise is defeating yourself.

If you remind yourself of that each time you feel negative, it might help.

Best! :-)