All but one is single, and the one that is married has a sqrewed up marriege. She's home all day talking to these females via email, and phone. Every time we have a argument, its behind what one of them has told her. I'm not saying that my wife can't think for herself, but we know how friends like to put their two cents in. If it was good advice I wouldn't be so mad, but it's getting worse. I'm at wits end with this, I don't want to pick my wifes friends for her, but if this bad advice keeps up It's going to destroy our relationship.
2006-06-26 16:33:37 · 16 answers · asked by Mr.knowit.all 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"She's home all day talking to these females via email, and phone."
get your woman a job.
idol hands are the devils work.
she has too much time on her hands.
get her busy. and she won't have time for that "cluck fest"
2006-06-27 03:38:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You two might want to consider couples counseling. The issue might be something other than your wife's friends. Your relationship is what is really important. Are you treating each other respectfully? A counselor may be able to help you focus on what the core issues are and give you tools to help work through them. Arguments can cause more hurt feelings without solving the real problems.
2006-06-26 16:48:26 · answer #2 · answered by xawboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever the problem everybody don't always have to know, tell you wife that you would be more responsive to her if she could resolve an issue with out always seeking the advice of another, if she was a bit more genuine. It's okay so ask for advice after the initial resolution. Not as the solution.(in a marriage)
2006-06-26 16:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off you say bad advice is it bad because its not what you want or the way you think it should be? just asking you to think about that. as far as the friend with the bad marriage if thats true she may not wanna ask that friend. maybe your wife could consider talking to a minister or someone from the out side looking in sometimes its more clear and accurate advice because they are not around you both and they can be inparshall. hope this helps you and best of luck.
2006-06-26 16:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by lnay69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're right about that, her friends will destroy your marriage, IF you let it. Ask your wife why she tells them ALL of the intimate details of your life. I know girlfriends talk, but some things are private and just between spouses. You know what? Invite them all over for dinner, and ask them point blank to their faces why they have so many opinions about your marriage. That might get them to shut up, and your wife might keep her mouth shut too, but if you are having problems, seek marriage counseling from a reputable counselor. Good luck.
2006-06-26 17:00:43 · answer #5 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to put your foot down and tell her that you aren't interested in what her friends have to say about the two of you. You didn't marry them. You need to be clear in your feelings and tell her that you love her and want to know how she feels, not how anyone else feels. She needs to think and feel for herself. Her friends need to butt out. Remember to emphasize interest in her thoughts and be clear about your own feelings as well. The more you establish good communication, the better things will get. If she won't do this, then you may have to take more drastic steps, you can suggest counseling for example, depending on how much you want to save your marriage.
2006-06-26 16:41:57 · answer #6 · answered by thewildeman2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, that is a very legitimate complaint and I totally sympathize with you.
I went through a phase where a very negative but very intelligent friend would talk to me all day about men and then I would turn around and make those comments to my fiancee.
she and I aren't friends anymore because her negativity got to me.
You do need to have a very non threatening conversation with your wife. Simply explain to her that you feel as though sometimes her friends attitude comes out in her actions and comments and it's hurtful to you. Use the word hurtful because it displays vulnerability which will immediately put her on your side. If you use another word such as "angry" or "pissed" or something more agressive,,,,,she might get defensive.
Explain to her exactly what you wrote here:
"Honey, I know you can think for yourself and you're an extremely bright woman but I do notice your attitude changes after you've talked to some of your friends and it feels unfair to me. I feel like I don't have a leg to stand on. I feel as though "name of person's" problems in her marriage become ours just because she;s talked to you about it. I don't want anything to come between us and when we argue about things that aren't really valid, it pushes me away. can you work on that with me?" good luck.
2006-06-26 16:43:40 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's totally a destructive thing. When my friends start in with their "insult-a-thon" about their husbands, I refrain. It doesn't bring anything positive into our relationship and I refuse to do it.
This was mentioned in a 5 week series for Extreme Marriage from my church. It's really funny.
You can listen to them and burn them to a CD for her to listen to. Just good, common-sense stuff.
www.journeybf.com
Go to "Messages"
Find "Extreme Marriage" - it's like 5 messages.
On some of the above buttons, you might have to double-click.
Even if you aren't religious, you can still take away some awesome things.
2006-06-27 05:28:34 · answer #8 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Belive it or not me and my wife are almost the same, but I can say that i hate her friends and they hate me, and when we first started dating they were trying hard to break us apart till "i can honestly say" i threaten them that if they broke our relationship i would make there lifes a living hell. Oh by the way am a police officer and i know it was wrong but for the love of my life i would do anything to make it work.
2006-06-26 16:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by jmg559 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would be tempted to let her know that YOU ARE MARRIED TO HER not her friends There are a lot of marriages that are destroyed because people let their family and friends meddle in their own personal and private lives Good Luck
2006-06-27 05:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by wancarol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to sit down and have a nice long talk with your wife. She might need to tell her friends to take a hike if it's really affecting your marriage that much. Maybe they are jealous and trying to break you guys up?? Or maybe they are actually TRYING to be helpful but they're not. Maybe you need to talk to your wife and have her talk to her friends and tell them to keep their opinions to themselves. Anything is worth a try at this point...but I'd deffinately sit down and REALLY have a heart to heart talk with you wife. Good luck!!!
2006-06-26 16:39:10 · answer #11 · answered by myhopelesslyshatteredheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋