why do men do this?

Question

why is it when you ask a question like where would you like to go to dinner or what movie do you wanna watch tonight the answer is alway the same question i ask him.every man i have ever known does this. why cant men just say i feel like chinese tonight or i wanna watch gladiator instead of putting it back on me.if i really cared trust me i would not be giving him the dang option

Answer 1

It's because you left of the third option, the one they really want. What you should ask is "Do you want to go to dinner, to a movie, or to bed?"

See what kind of a response you get then.

Answer 2

You must not be talking about real men. I more than make my wants and intentions known. I do make sure my wife has a chance to eat or watch what she wants too, but I definitely watch my share of what I want to watch. Many of the shows that we watch are liked by both of us, like the reality shows on VH1. As far as food goes, if we feel like eating different things then we just go pick up what we each want and eat it at the same time at home. Regardless of what we want to watch or eat, we always do everything together. My wife is my best friend and everything else as well.

However, with your attitude you wouldn't be able to give me the "dang option" because you wouldn't have a choice in my home with the attitude of letting me as your husband do or not do something. Your attitude wouldn't last five seconds around me. My wife and I usually make the majority of household decisions together, but when it comes down to it I have the ultimate say so on any matter because I am the man of the house. That's the way it's supposed to be anyway. Too many people these days have their roles in the home completely reversed. I wouldn't tolerate your mouth for five minutes, you'd change your attitude or we wouldn't last. Make no mistake about it, it would be your loss, not mine.

Thankfully, my wife is passive, I am aggressive, and it works very well that way. Thank God for a good woman.

Answer 3

Girl, I feel you on that one!!! but I'm guessing they feel like their in a catch 22 if they answered honestly;or it can be the fear that might stay the wrong thing. Man are crazy and we will never figure them out, just like they can not figure us out. So, don't get upset. Try to start the question like this " You, know I felt like Chinese awhile ago but I'm not feeling that right now. Baby do you have any suggestion?" I wish you luck sweetie.. Oh are you can see "Bab, on Thursday lets go out for dinner you pick the spot" This will give him time to think on where you two can go out to eat.

Answer 4

Thats is so funny because I was talking to a friend about that just yesterday. I have no idea but I wish just once he would say "hey why don't we go out for dinner tonight" or "I'm taking you out tonight, don't ask questions just get ready" And use their own intiative for once. And stop asking me what we are doing and just plan something on their own accord. My god it frustrates me so much. Sorry for not answering your question but I do know how you feel.

Answer 5

I am mainly reading statements from guys saying that we ask trick questions purposely to test them and expect for them to know what we want. The whole outlook men have on women is a big misconception. At least I feel like we would prefer to make decisions equally rather than either one of us feel we are trying to be overpowering and selfish. When I ask my husband what he feels like eating and if he answers Sonic, I'm perfectly fine with it... if I want it to be a decision we both make, I would ask, "I'm not sure what I feel like eating, do you have any suggestions" and if he answers with, "whatever", shoot... just leave it be and pick whatever you want. If he really feels like eating something in particular, he'll let you know.

Answer 6

Because we have to make you happy and if we choose the wrong thing, you get mad or cut us down or whatever.

It's hard to tell when girls actually want us to give them an answer or if they were just giving us the OPPORTUNITY to submit an answer so they don't feel selfish when we have to go with the girl's premeditated agenda.

You should say (to a guy who is not completely passive) "Let's do something you want to do tonight, this is your night" Something like that. Not, "What do you want to do?" or "What should we do?" That is- if you really want him to make the decision. See the difference?

Answer 7

Men I've asked abou this say they're tired of getting burned by trying to provide an answer. They say whatever they say, it will be wrong, so they get conditioned to not decide. If you really like a guy, kindly let him know it's okay to make the suggestions, and if he doesn't, it will work against your getting to know him. And if you don't know him, how can you like him?

Answer 8

1) because we care about what you want :p
2) because whatever we choose is an invitation for a woman to feel bad (wife: why didn't this jerk know what i want)
3) we are soo damn lazy, even a simple question needs to be done by someone else
4) it's a trick question most of the time, what ever we say will be ignored anyway and the woman's choice wins!
5) reverse psychology. because women like to do this to test our intelligence, and we like to make them feel they are smarter

Answer 9

Because if he answers the wrong damn thing YOU'LL BE PISSED OFF AND REFUSE TO TALK TO HIM, LET ALONE GIVE HIM ANY. He may be dumb but he's not retarded. We have that much of you figured out. You may not like what he's doing, but he knows the ramifications of this course of action are a lot more lenient than the alternatives.

Answer 10

No matter what he says, the man's answer is automatically wrong. Rather than create conflict he gets the woman to make the decision

Answer 11

men do this because they are stupid, and can't make a desision to save their lives, my husband is the same way, and then he gets mad when i dont pick something he wants. i think american culture has trained men to be more "sensitive" to the needs of others but its really gone far to far if you've asked me, sometimes i just want my man to be a man already. (like when the electricity goes out)