we've been together 12 years, never did anything like this before. He seems really ashamed and disgusted with him self, but how do i trust him again, and how do we heal, and should i just leave.
2006-06-26 15:43:24 · 20 answers · asked by preraphaellady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to him about it. Tell him what you've said here, essentially. That you did think about leaving him over it, but have decided that twelve years warrents one more chance. But that there will be no more chances after that. That you're married, and supposed to be monogomus, and you won't be the second girl. Let him know that it will take a while for you to trust him again. That you're going to make the effort to trust him again, but that he needs to make an effort as well. Let him know that what he did hurt you, and that it won't be easy for you to juet let th pain go, but that you're willing to try, if he will.
I really hope this helps. It's got to be hard for you, know we keep our fingers crossed for you.
2006-06-26 15:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well...He should have never met any one from my space..Never should have been on there to begin with. There's nothing but under age teens on that site.
But if they just met for coffee why is he so ashamed, and disgusted with himself? They had more than just coffee and a donut..
Find out what really happened and go from there.. Consider counseling. He'll have to work hard to earn the trust. You trusting him again will not happen overnight. You just need to be willing to try as well. Providing that's something you want to do. Find out the facts first.
2006-06-26 15:49:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to answer two questions for yourself. Do you still love him? Can you live with what he did? Then the two of you have to examine why it happened. If you both don't know why, it's hard to keep it from happening again. The trust will only come in time when the suspicious behavior stops and he has to be patient with you while you learn to trust again. It will be allot of work but it can be done if you both want it. Good luck.
2006-06-26 15:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by snowhite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My space is dangerous for married people. especially married people who are bored for now. I would definetly look into counseling and tell him to get the hell off of that website. If he doesn't then you know you have a BIG problem. He is looking to other vices to get what he needs and if he doesn't communicate this with you then you will be left in the dark and who needs to be always wondering what your man is doing. If he is having an affair then you have to get counseling for yourself even if he doesn't want to go so that you keep a healthy mind. I am sorry for what you are going through and i hope it gets better.
2006-06-26 16:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by blondiebella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about how you feel and try to get to the bottom of why he felt he needed to meet someone off the net. I don't think you should leave your marriage because your hubby had coffee with a woman. You might seriously consider getting into marriage counseling and fixing whatever this issue in your marriage is.
2006-06-26 15:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not make a federal case out of this. If you do, he won't talk to you about it. It sounds like you need to communicate. There is something he feels he's lacking and he's searching for something. On the other hand, it's great to have friends of the opposite sex. They give you a great perspective and help you understand your partner better too.
2006-06-26 15:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by Shelley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got to go girl he has it in his heart of cheating so 10-9 chances are that he already has. Marriage is between 2 people not 3 so I would just set him down and ask him what he want's but you don't desirve to be treated that way. lot's of luck to you and I hope you find peace of mind and Heart.
2006-06-26 15:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by william R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not really cheating unless they swapped spit.
As for MySpace, what dialogue was he getting that he was not getting from you. That you would leave due to an internet
correspondence indicates your lack of emotional investment
in your own marriage.
2006-06-26 15:51:24 · answer #8 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go find a guy from myspace to hang out with
2006-06-26 15:45:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to heal and deal with it is to talk about it. Time heals wounds. If you dont want to try and trust him you never will.
2006-06-27 17:32:08 · answer #10 · answered by mwashburn30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋