I have been married for 3 yrs. In August, he said he wanted a divorce & than a week later he said he loves me & he didnt. Then in December I had our son & he was deployed in Jan. Well for the first 2mos, he said he wanted a divorce & that he doesent love me & never has. Well about a mo later he said he loves me & dont want a divorce. And ever since he has been saying that he does love me. How do I know if he really does?
2006-06-26 14:53:40 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He may just be going through stress about deployment and new parenthood. Either way though, marriage counseling is awesome and would help.
2006-06-26 14:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by on my way 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sunny,
I'm sorry to hear what has been going on. It must be stressful, having a kid, having your husband go off to deployment, and having him go back and forth regarding how he feels about you.
I don't know if he loves you or if he doesn't. My guess is that he does, but not so strongly, so passionately, that it is ingrained in him. It is almost as if his feelings change with the wind. This is acceptable behavior when it comes to someone's view of music, or a fast-food joint, but not to their spouse.
Right now, he is alone, maybe bored or scared or both. He has a lot of time on his hands to think, which maybe changes his focus. However, when he returns, my guess is that he will revert to the way he was before he left. I think you have more of the same to look forward to...episodes of him telling you he loves you, followed by times when he wants a divorce.
I feel bad - nobody should have to go through this. I recommend you consider telling him that his waffling confuses and hurts. It isn't normal and you want to know what he is thinking when he goes back and forth like this. Is he just acting out of anger or does his feeling really change from one month to the next? It is a fair question - one you deserve an honest answer to.
Good luck,
c
2006-06-26 22:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by chuck_jax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to learn that talk about divorce is too serious to yo yo about. He either needs to find a healthier and less hurtful way to express his feelings and work on them when he is upset. He has to learn (it would be more likely to happen if he learns during peaceful times) that no matter how upset he is he shouldn't say things that are meant to hurt your feelings. From now on the D word should not be something that he should be able to throw out there and take it back. If he says it again throw him out or move out for a few days and teach him he should only say it if he means it.
2006-06-26 22:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by miss_trita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's just stressed out and we take it out on the closest one to us and that's you he probably loves you more than you know just try to hang in there and talk to him about seeking counseling!
2006-06-26 22:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think theres a possibility that he's bipolar and a cheat.
2006-06-26 21:58:31 · answer #5 · answered by caelestisinferno64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's very confused. i would respect that.
2006-06-26 22:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by jolees56 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋