I am 16, i have been dating a guy for a month, we have been on 2 dates but talk for like two or more hours a day everyday. He hasnt even kissed me yet. I love him and he loves me, we started saying it before he asked me out. When we are on the phone he constantly asks me when when when, he says he would never pressure me but he is and donst see it no matter what we say. He is a sweet guy, a virgin like me, he wants to kill his virginity as soon as possible. I want to have sex with him but at the same time i want to wait longer, just to wait. I feel like if i dont have sex with him soon he will dump me, i love him so much, and im not that great looking not to many fish in the sea that would take this bait. I just wish we could go a day without bringing up when. Its weird because when we hang out he never pressures me, he is so shy. I want to spend more time with him, but he thinks going out is dumb. He wants to go all the way in one day, and acts like i only wanna do things i wanna do.
2006-06-26 14:49:54 · 17 answers · asked by Joe 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
He might think going out is stupid because he cannot have sex with you when ya'll are out. It sounds like first of all you need to build up your own self-esteem before you worry about trying to have a sexual relationship with anybody. He may have even been telling you all those things because he sensed your low self-esteem and is trying to prey on you. If you do not want to have sex with him, no matter what the reason then don't. If you think he is going to break up with you because of that then that should show you that he did not really mean when he said that he loved you and all those things. If ya'll relationship is not on the same page(he's anxious to give it up and you're not) then maybe you shouldn't be with him. You can never take back sex, it will be with you for the rest of your life. And you have the rest of your life to find a man that will love you regardless of how you look and what you are willing to do for him. In the mean time how about loving yourself and if you're feeling a gap maybe you should turn to the lover of all people-Jesus Christ, he loved you before you loved yourself and you are "fearfully and wonderfully made" in His image. So walk with your head high gurl!
2006-06-26 17:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by babygemini261 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay. From my point of view, you're not ready. If you're asking other people whether they think you should do it or not then you're not ready. It should be something that you feel you are comfortable to do whenever that may be. I think your boyfriend is just pressuring you to do it; otherwise, he wouldn't always bring up the subject like you say he is. You've only been dating him for a month with 2 dates and the guy says he thinks going out is dumb... that should be a major hint that he's only in it to get something. Another thing... just because you two say you love each other might not mean that you both actually do. Now a days, the word "love" is just being thrown around too much without its real meaning. So, if you feel like you want to wait longer, then wait. It's as simple as that. And if your boyfriend doesn't understand that then obviously he isn't the right person for you.
2006-06-26 21:57:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you seriously think about what your gonna do before you do it. I really think you should wait, wait as long as possible. I got pregnant my first time, I was only 16. As I look back over the years I wish I would have waited until I was older and more responsible. But I never regret having my daughter. Your facing allot of pressure now from your "temporary" boyfriend and maybe your friends too. This guy won't always be around it is a choice you have to think about for the rest of your life. Maybe you should talk to a school counselor or your parents if they are good listeners. And maybe you two shouldn't talk on the phone as much, if he brings it up try to change the subject, if he gets defensive maybe that is a sign you should be "in love with him".
2006-06-26 22:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by ~~jossypg~~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will definitely make me sound like a fuddy duddy, but here goes.
Sixteen is too young for anyone, especially girls, to be engaging in intercourse. Your body is still developing and despite how grown up you feel when you hit sixteen, I know I did, you simply aren't emotionally ready.
Like it or not, sex is a commitment and a huge step for anyone. Do you honestly think you'll be with him in 40 years? What happens if you use a condom and it breaks? Will he stick around if you get pregnant? Put up with the hormones, mood swings. 2 a.m. wake up calls?
Most of the girls I went to school with will admit now that they regretted not waiting. I'm not saying you have to wait forever, but I'd suggest at least until you're over 18 or more. Maybe even ask your doctor as to when he feels it's a good time for women to begin engaging in intercourse.
In this day and age, there are too many teenage pregnancies and too many people with STDs. Take a step back and evaluate what you want in life. I think you'll find that waiting will be the best thing you could do. It's your life...don't make mistakes you'll regret later in the future.
2006-06-26 23:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by lady_laran 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's only been a month and it seems like he just wants sex. If you're not ready then you're not ready, and there's nothing he can do about it. If he can't handle it then he probably doesn't love you as much as you think he does. Trust me, if he really cared about you then he would wait until you are ready. You are barely 16, there are many more opportunities out there. Look for something beyond sex, it will be more than helpful later down the line.
2006-06-26 22:42:48 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Nart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are questioning if you should or should not then no you are not ready. You have only been with him for a month and he's trying to just lose it. If he loves you then he will wait for you. If you go ahead and do it now you might regret it. Since you have only been together for a month then there might be a chance that he will break up w/ you after words. There is somebody for everybody and beauty is skin deep sweety and you are 16. You are only a virgin once so share it with someone who is willing to wait for when you are ready.
2006-06-26 21:58:25 · answer #6 · answered by Haley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had to ask this question then you are definatly not ready. Only you will know when the time comes that you are ready. And dont let some guy talk you in to it cuz he wants it. Guys will try anything to get a girl to have sex. example you will if you love me, and crap like that. of course you can always respond with you will wait if you love me. Guys use the love word to get their way with girl. DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!!!!
2006-06-26 22:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by cerene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a real guy would wait for you to be ready - he's definetly not a virgin sweetie or he wouldn't keep asking you when trust me. try doing other things before going to have sex, tell him this is how i am and you have to respect that or we can't be together - i know that hurts but trust me you don't want the first person you sleep with to pressure you there are a lot of sweet guys out there - good luck
2006-06-26 22:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by ash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to wait then you should definitely wait. Don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. If he really loves you then tell him you are not ready to have sex and he should immediately leave it alone. Everything that you do in life should be done for yourself because you can not please everybody. I hope that you wait until you are ready because you don't want to have any regrets about losing your virginity. You only have one virginity.
2006-06-26 22:01:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time!! Wait until your married. Save yourself for your wedding night. And about the If I don't give him some he might dump me thing... Well if he does that then he really didn't love you in the first place.
2006-06-26 21:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by momsrock! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋