Me and my wife have been married going on 2 years. We have a 10month old baby boy and she has not lost a lot of weight since she had the baby. But I Still see her as my beautiful bride (but she doesn't think so of herself). Ofcourse our sex life is not what it was before. What suggestions can you lovely ladies give me to bring back that spicy lovin back into our lives and bedroom?
2006-06-26 14:47:46 · 20 answers · asked by jdrodriguez7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When the baby is 18....She's pooped and not thinking of sex AT ALL...
2006-06-26 14:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by lkhbhurnje 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just had a baby 4 months ago, so I think I understand pretty well what you are talking about.
#1 if she don't like what she sees in the mirror, she will automatically think that that's the way you look at her. even if you tell her a million times that that's no true.
#2 she might be a little stress out because of the baby, specially if is the first one.
Now that said, I'll give you my suggestions:
#1 keep telling her that you still lover the same way you did before she had the baby, and tell her not just with words, be creative, even little things will make a difference.
#2 Do helper with the chores around the house and with the baby, even with little things, like offer to take care of the baby while she takes a nap or go out to pamper herself by doing her nails and/or her hair.
Just be there for her in every way possible you can, be supportive and understanding, sometimes after an exhausting day full of millions little chores, the last thing we think of is sex. Good luck and God bless!
2006-06-26 22:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I have a 9 yr old and a 4 month old. I know it's hard, but you need to give her time. After my 9 yr old was born- I never lost the weight- I just couldn't, and I wasn't very happy with myself for a very long time. Add to that the raging hormones that are totally messing with your wife's head and body, the sleepless nights and so on and so forth. The best thing to do is support her, keep telling her she is beautiful and you love her. As for the Sex life, I am sure you understand she probably has one ear for you and the other listening for the baby. Having children is one of the most joyous experiences there is, But sometimes people underestimate how much your life and yourselves change. Just give it some time and I am sure the sex life will kick back in- just let her know that you still desire her as much as before. you guys have new parent syndrome and things will even out!! good luck and god bless
2006-06-26 22:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by smiley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for still seeing your wife as a beautiful bride. Now realize that being a mom is more than a full time job. We never quit worrying about them. Plus being responsible for a little on until evening is exhausting.
I don't really know your situation so don't take this personally. If you don't help out much around the house and with the baby, start. If you don't give her flowers, do. If you can express yourself with words, write her little love notes and leave them where she will find them unexpectantly. Things as simple as I love you or you made me smile when....
Find a sitter and take her on an afternoon date. After a full day she may be too tired for a date or romance. I was always more in the mood in the afternoons when I boys were little.
Good luck.
2006-06-26 21:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by THP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat her to a day at a spa. Pamper her. You can't just tell her you love her you have to show it. If she slaves in the kitchen every night cooking get a baby-sitter and take her to a romantic dinner. Let her order whatever she wants. The key will be at dessert. Start by asking her what she would like. If she is like me she will decline because of her weight. That's when you'll reel her in by telling that she has never looked more beautiful and the night is all about her and you would love to see her enjoy everything the night has to offer. Note: This will only work if she loves sweet. This is just an idea and if would work on me, but anything you do to show her you love her and appreciate her will give positive results.
2006-06-26 21:58:42 · answer #5 · answered by NHedlund 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get romantic! Start doing things together, going out to dinner, having a nice night alone at home, etc. Get a babysitter for a night once a week and make time for yourselves. Light some candles, give her a massage, go on a mini-vacation, stay at a nice hotel for a night, bring her flowers,etc.
Your wife just needs to know that she is beautiful and that even though because she isn't the same size as when you got married - you still love her and find her attractive. Once she knows you love her and are attracted to her it might help ease her into being happy with herself.
Another thing you might also do is start a little exercises routine together. Go out walking/jogging or to the gym together - that way you are staying in shape and spending time together.
2006-06-26 21:53:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your wife work outside of the house or is she a stay at home wife and mother? Chances are she needs a bit of help. Babies and husbands are a full time job and we women rarely have time for ourselves. It took two of you to make the baby (hint) it takes two to care for him/her as well. All that we ever really want is to feel "special".
Since you guys have been together for tow years, you are familiar with the things that she used to do. What did you guys do before the baby came? Think about special moments that you shared prior to becoming parents and take a little time to recreate it.
Perhaps you can take a day off from work and become "Mom" for a day allowing the wife to have a little free time to go get a massage, pedicure, manicure and new hairdo. Then hire a sitter and take her out to dinner and a movie, just the two of you. (Make that a sexy, girlie movie.) Nothing makes a woman feel better than to know that her man cares enough to make small sacrifices for her. Then what comes next is up to you...remember to take your time with foreplay. Hope this helps...
2006-06-26 21:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by gmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you two been able to go on dates since the baby was born? If not try to get a baby sitter for once a week and take your wife out on a date. Take her some place ware she can get dressed up. When your tending to your baby all day it is vary easy to not feel sexy. She knows that she isn't the weight that she use to be so make sure you add those extra words like, you look good in that outfight, or just do what my hubby does, he whistles at me while i cook dinner, do the dishes, and even change diapers. Good luck hun.
mommy of 2
2006-06-26 21:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by Heather W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep making herfeel like she's the light in your eyes some women go through those inadequate feelings after the baby comes and the weight comes all she has to do is a lil diet and exercise and she'll be ok, you keep helping her work on her ego b/c right now she feels like she's ugly and things like that! As for the sex her body is probably still getting use to having a baby and her hormones haven't fully kicked back in yet trust me they will!
2006-06-26 21:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women have a hard time of losing baby weight. you can tell her she is beautiful all you want and it helps, but she has to feel good when she looks at herself naked in the mirror. maybe start suprising her with things and maybe start going on walks together with baby too and maybe get a gym membership and tell her you'll watch the baby while she can work out or get one together and go together if you have a sitter. if she knows you think she's beautiful and you love her thats great modivation. plus just the fact that she'll be working out will make her feel amazing even if the pounds don't come off right away. its not all about the number, but the way you feel about yourself. good luck... she'll want you to have sex with you all the time once she starts going to the gym regularly. or maybe take a salsa class together or something like taht you'll have fun and get exercise at the same time.
2006-06-26 21:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by stars 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient with her. Keep telling her how much you love her and how beautiful you think she is. It is important to let her know this. It is hard to lose the weight after having a baby and she needs to be reassured that you love her and find her attractive. As for your sex life getting back to what it was before having a child that too will take time. Just hang in there and keep telling her how much you love her.
2006-06-26 21:53:15 · answer #11 · answered by dkcrouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋