i have no doubt in my mind that my fiancee loves me but for some reason i cant stop being soo jealous.. i mean i over do it!!! when we go to the mall i feel like hes checking out other girls and i get pissed i storm off or i give him a bad attitude... i know i need help and need 2 change but i dont know where to start. it has gotten to the point that we almost broke everything off... Please help what should i do?
2006-06-26 14:02:25 · 19 answers · asked by Carmen N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u start here think of worst case scenario he cheats on u/finds another girl etc now think if u love him unconditionally enough to take that chance.as theres a saying this side u cant have ur eye both on heaven & hell.ur scared that ull loose him since u love him so very much.thats why u get jealous but remember u can drive him to another woman atleast if he does it on his own u can say i loved him unconditionally u wont feel bad take a risk by sounds of it it seems he really does love u let things show u in future that he loves u & wants to be with u
2006-06-26 14:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by docfreudianslip 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've got to get some self confidence. Counseling perhaps? People who are confident in themselves are very appealing, while jealousy tends to be an opposite trait. It's already caused you to almost break up. If you really mistrust his feelings for you THAT much, then why are you with him? What has he done to you in the past to cause you to feel he'd rather be with someone else (or has been)? What are you really jealous of?
Grow up, let go of your issues, and if you notice him looking at another woman smile and make a comment your self like "she's got pretty hair" or "wow, those are some tig-ol-bitties huh?" You'll get a lot better response from him (because he's just being human when he looks) if you look with him, then give him the evil eye or a silly 'tude.
2006-06-26 21:07:16 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times jealousy is just an expression of insecurity. it is normal to be jealous. In fact if you NEVER feel jealous in a relationship you need to question it. It is not okay though to be so obssessive. do you have the fear that he will cheat or leave you? Maybe you have low self esteem or you have had had bad experiences in the past. For example my friend's dad was like a poster husband and father, then we found out that he had cheated with several women over the years. From then on, she has been unable to trust any guy because her father seemed super trustworthy and he betrayed she and her mom.
2006-06-26 21:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by vivmaiko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you should see a counselor or therapist alone (or perhaps together) to get to the bottom of your jealousy issues. i'm sure you'd like to have it under control and trained/licensed people are experienced in this. jealousy is usually the root of a deeper problem so you should probably get that checked out. jealously should only be reserved for times when it is warranted (ie: your man talks to a woman for a long period of time while you're waiting around -- but then you should talk about it and find out what was going on). i think you two need to establish a open communication channel as well so you can trust one another. if you feel intimidated or jealous, talk to him about why you feel that way and hopefully he can reassure you that your jealousy is unwarranted.
2006-06-26 21:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by broadcast_girl79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everytime you start to feel yourself getting jealous tell yourself what the outcome will be. I used to be very jealous also and then I realized all I was doing was making him mad. When he does something that is making you jealous just breathe and tell yourself it is ok and not a big deal. All guys are going to check other girls out, like girls check guys out. Jealousy makes the situation worse.
2006-06-26 21:08:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so jealous? There really is no need for you to be jealous. Look at it like this...he will be with you or he won't. The truth be known, you really have no control over that...so you don't need to waste your time stressing yourself over it by being jealous. Don't use energy and time being jealouis. Take the time that you have with him and enjoy it. Enjoying your time and not being stressed over jealousy will build happy times together and the happier times that the two of you share the stronger your bond will grow.
2006-06-26 21:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by boxerpitk9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy boils down to mis-trust. for whatever reason you don't trust him. you know why, you just may not realize it. stop and think about it for a minute or two and you will figure it out. there may or may not be something he is doing or something that he has or has not done to make you feel that way. it could be also that you are just insecure about the future with him or something like that. again that boils down to mis-trust, but, once you figure it out, and talk to him about it instead of getting attitude about it you can move beyond one of the most threatening things that a relationship can go through. something to think about also, you really don't want to marry someone that you cannot trust. they are there 24/7/365 they will know everything...everything!!!... about you, are you sure you want someone you cant trust knowing that kind of information about you?
2006-06-26 21:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by ol_jarhead 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always a reason women get jealous. Either you were hurt in a previous relationship or in your current one. You are insecure and there is a reason for it. Try figure why that is and then maybe you can deal with your jealousy. Good luck
2006-06-26 21:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by alter_egob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually it's kinda normal that we check out on sexy girls, just like probably you do the same every now and then.
That doesn't mean he doesn't love you and it doesn't mean he's gonna cheat on you. There are better things to worry about than just trying to overcontrol your boyfriend's eyes.
Why don't you make plans, that might help you feel more connected.
2006-06-26 21:15:26 · answer #9 · answered by mjluvfitness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you just being jealous or do you really think he is checking out other girls? If he is...then maybe you should just break up. Plenty more fish in the sea.
2006-06-26 21:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋