Torn...relationship and friends.?

Question

Ok, so I know this might seem corny or whatever coming on here with my personal issue, but I need an honest totally unbiased opinion, so this is really one of my only choices...So here it is. Lately my friends have been acting kinda shady *since my girl and I got back together* they dont call me so much, or wanna hang out like we did so I dunno what that's all about. Now as for my relationship. My girl has been acting kinda weird too. There is this one chick that she talks to that is "just a friend" but I think there is more to it (even though this other chick has a wife...she says she's still allowed to date as she pleases) So we were at pride and ran into this girl...it was the most uncomfortable feeling ever! Now I feel I have to worry about her so needless to say I broke it off with my girl. I feel like an asshole for doing it but we've been at eachothers throats lately. I love her to death, and I almost regret doing it, but I can't continue like this right?

I ran out of space to write so here we go to finish the question...My *ex* girl and I had plans for this up coming weekend, we made them a few weeks ago and I was all gung ho to go, and still kinda feel like going, but here comes the friends now asking if I want to go roadtripping with them...I said yes. I'm not really sure I want to do that anymore though, so how do I tell them I dont want to go without seeming like an *** for the short notice? And would it be misleading to my ex to still go on with our plans or should I still go and see if we could work on things? Honest answers would help A LOT! Thank you for your time!

Answer 1

There usually isn't that much smoke without fire. Be true to yourself and trust your instincts.

Answer 2

Well, is it possible that while you were with your ex you dissed your friends? Maybe spent so much time with her that they never got to see you? If that's the case, it can certainly explain why they were acting standoffish.

Or it could be that they had a problem with the ex, (for whatever reason) and decided that if "you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all".

And take it from me. If you've got that uncomfortable feeling, than the chances that your ex was cheating on you are probably dead on. How long have you been at eachother's throats? Is it just because of this other chick?

DON'T cancel with your friends! If you keep blowing them off, when you really need them.....they just might not be there. Not only that, but you will be giving your ex (and yourself) very mixed messeges if you go on the trip with her. Take some time to step back from the situation and clear your head. Sounds like a roadtrip with your friends is exactly what you need.

Answer 3

ok I sorta know what your talking about, I mean im not les, so I sorta dont but I know what you mean. Umm, so im guessing you want to call the whole thing off and let go right? well if I was you I would have a good time and see what leads to what, I mean you and ur gurl might end up together again, or all three of yall. But another option is go out there and have fun, and play it of like yall are cool and nothing happened, cuz if you really like her and you dont want to hurt her feeling, then im sure she wants you to go, if she invited you.

Answer 4

i think it's a good idea breaking off with her, first off. about misleading her if you go, just tell her straight out that you are just friends... and that this was a plan before the breakup. if you want to get back with her, then let her know that too. but you have to look at yourself and see if you trust her. i know with me, when i broke it off, i felt horrible. especially being my heart and all... but i can't mislead. so what i actually ended up doing is going to the event we planned lettting our friends know the situation (the breakup) and after that i said, i needed time away. when i got back to calling my friends and wanting to hangout again, they were cool with it. my ex - we're best friends because we took time to heal.... anyway, i hope that helps a little. good luck!

Answer 5

Maybe your friends knew about something going on and didn't want to tell you and hurt your feelings. Maybe, your friends and your girl had an altercation and are just not telling you because they don't want you to do anything because of them. If your instincts are telling you something is wrong then there probably is something wrong. Get both sides of the story if you plan on trying to salvage the relationships.

Just my opinion.

Answer 6

Obviously your friends don't really appeal to you being a lesbian, so they obviously aren't your friends. Calling your friends on the phone might be easier, so call them up and say, "Listen. I don't think going on this road trip is a good idea. You obviously have a problem with me being gay, so I don't think we should be friends if you feel like that."
And with your ex...you'd probably be sending mixed signals by telling her you wanted to go on that trip with her. You might want to find a friend who accepts you for who you are, and you can take that friend along with you. ~GOOD LUCK!~

Answer 7

friends: maybe they don't like the choice you made. talk to them, ask them what's up.
relationship: If you love the girl a lot, maybe you should talk to her, see what's up with her. the only way to figure out what's happening is to find out what's happening, from her side. the best way to fix problems is to find out what the problem is in the first place. it might be hard to talk to them, but do try, because it'll only do good if you figure it all out. good luck!

Answer 8

It sounds like you have a lot of stress and I think that you needed to clear up some of it. If you're girlfriend really is cheating on you I think you should have talked to her about it before you broke up with her.

Answer 9

If she is stating that she is in an open relationship, and
you don't agree, drop her like a hot potato. You deserve better. There are plenty of good women will not 'stray'.