I have risen above a lot of negative crap in my life, to become a creative, giving, super diverse and very loving person...thing is I'm still fearful in relationships ... (bad father issues: real one killed himself, step-dad was abusive) I never turned to drugs or alchohol but became a recognised athlete and performer instead.The only place I can work thru this with authenticity is IN a relationship tho...and I unfortunately come with some baggage, Do I have to be perfectly healed before it's realistic to accept another love into my life?
2006-06-26 13:38:58 · 8 answers · asked by paradox69 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Don't expect perfection from yourself or anyone else, because nobody is perfect.
You can work things out with the right special someone in your life. It does take time and patience on both parts and some good counseling helps immensely.
I've been with my husband for 31 years. He has had some issues relating to his relationship with his mother. It's an ongoing process that we deal with as needed.
2006-06-26 13:46:05 · answer #1 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think the only place you "can work through this with authenticity is in a relationship"?? The only place is within yourself, it's YOU you have to resolve, not the relationships.
I'm not saying avoid relationships just because you're still in a healing process .. but don't be putting all your chips on them to resolve your issues. That's something only you can do, and being/not being in a relationship is not what it's about.
2006-06-27 10:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by askios007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO im a guy and have the same problem that you do bad childhood etc.So I do know how you feel and you just have to find a loving person who will listen to you and not give you crap all the time because I have a hard time talking about my feelings to people im in a relationship with so your not alone just find someone you know is loving
2006-06-26 20:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by Førsâkëñ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say wait until you have resolved your issues before bringing someone else into your life.
Have you sought out a therapist.
Men aren't always the best listeners.
I have a mate of 20 years and love her deeply but when she sometimes talks of things that are important to her but not in any way to me.
I find my attention waining even though I try to be interested.
I get cought not paying attention and it hurts her.
2006-06-26 20:47:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe anyone is ever completely healed - - life is an ongoing challenge and we all have a tendency to backslide at times - - allowing ourselves to find and trust in love is another step in the healing process
2006-06-26 20:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by highform@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from extensive experience I would have to say this and only this. You MUST take a blind leap of faith and TRUST someone. You may or may not get hurt, but there is NO OTHER WAY to make a go of it. If you do not simply lay your head on the chopping block, you will NEVER KNOW if it is going to be chopped off. You MUST learn to TRUST. YOU MUST TRUST.
2006-06-26 20:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a healer and some things can't be cured without it. just be selective, take your time, and remember no one is perfect. I wish you the very best in life.
2006-06-26 20:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by muchtodo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a friend, then see if he is a best friend..if so jump in with both feet and don't look back.
2006-06-26 20:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by smillingjake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋