I want to invite him, but when i told them and showed him to them in my yearbook, they said, "No, I don't think you should bring him." and i think they said that because he's black. 1. Should I confront them about this? and 2. I have already told my friend and if they don't allow him to come what do i tell him? I will be gone so i can't say "The vacation is cancelled".... please help!
2006-06-26 13:36:50 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Tell everyone involved the truth. Tell your friend the position you have been put in, tell your grandparents that you do not agree with them. I have endured a struggle similar to this. Be strong and honest and in the end you'll be able to live with your actions. Be careful though because the relationship between you and all parties involved will change the moment you decide to stand up and tell the truth. May God bless you in this journey.
2006-06-26 13:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by jandracu 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
1 - Don't confront them by accusing them of racism. Ask them first to explain the kind of friend they would like you to bring. This will give you an idea of what made them rule out your Black friend, without having to accuse them of anything.
2 - If your grandparents won't let him come because he's Black, then maybe you should stay home. Stand up for what you believe in. If for some reason, you have no choice and you HAVE to go with them, then don't hurt your friend's feelings if you don't have to. Just tell him that you didn't have a chance to ask them if you could take him and that they asked you to bring a specific friend of yours who they already know.
2006-06-26 13:43:47 · answer #2 · answered by fruitnroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say that you are not allowed to bring anyone, that your family just wants you and no one else there because you have some plans...don't tell him the truth, that would hurt him too much. Just make up some crap. Say you are going somewhere to some family reunion or something and that you can't take anyone anymore.
Don't listen to what the others have said. not because you shouldn't stand for what's right and all that, but because if you do take him, he would feel uncomfortable, you wouldn't want to put your friend in an awkward situation. And again, you don't want to risk hurting his feelings or letting him know you have a "racist" family, I am not saying you do, I am just saying they are probably very traditional people and are afraid of outsiders. again, just make up some crap. go alone, maybe you will meet some people by being by yourself.
2006-06-26 13:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clarify with your Grandparents why you shouldn't bring him... if they don't answer you properly come right out and ask them if it is because he is black. If that is the reason let them know that he is your best friend and you don't see colour... you see the real person inside for what they are. Tell them that you can't believe that they would be like this in this day and age. If they still don't come around tell them that you would rather stay home than come to a home with bigots.
2006-06-26 13:45:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront them... would they disown you because you aren't color blind?? Just don't approach it like you're ready for an arguement.... Let them know that he is your BEST friend and throw in there how he saved your *** from failing in school or something good the guy did for you... Build the guy up to how you see him, so they can get an idea of the good person you know. It's always hard to invite a complete stranger in, especially when it might be due to racism... Hasn't anyone in your family be descriminated against??
If they still say no... you can either stand your ground and not go yourself or hurt your friends feelings tell him how they are and go with them.... maybe he won't let u know it hurt, but I am sure it would bother him....
2006-06-26 13:42:28 · answer #5 · answered by Dana Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw, that's really sad.....your grandparents are missing out on meeting your friend and their old school prejudice is putting you in a most awkward situation.
The only thing I can suggest is what I would do in the same situation, which would be to dig my heels in and not go myself. Even though it will not be something you enjoy doing as undoubtably u love your gradparents. However, when you get to a certain age you gotta stand for what u believe in - even if this means boycotting the family holiday.
Don't have hysterics - calmly state where you stand in this and the reasons why.
2006-06-26 13:42:29 · answer #6 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that plans have changed and you can not bring any one with you. Your grandparents have the right to have who they want at their home and they do not want him there, so let it be. He seriously would be uncomfortable there for two whole weeks. Your friend I;m sure is a big boy he will be all right. But, don't hurt his feelings by telling him the real reason.
2006-06-26 17:22:34 · answer #7 · answered by mothers finest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should confront you grand parents about their prejudice. Do this respectfully, regardless of their beliefs they are your grand parents. If they don't want him in their home, then there is nothing that you can do about it. Don't force the issue. If they yield and let him accompany you, it could be an awkward situation for all of you. Your grand parents would be uncomfortable, you would be uncomfortable because you are aware of their prejudice, and your friend my feel as if he's not welcome. When you get your own home, invite whom ever you like and they'll have to learn to deal with it.... other wise they can stay home!
2006-06-26 13:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your grandparents and if they say no, I'm sorry but no is no!!It's their beach house.You need to see if the reason they said no was because of his race.IF it is the reason, you need to tell them how you feel and the fact that he's black, dosen't bother you.Tell them that you would like them to give him a chance because he treats you well and you are good friends.If they still say no, and I am against any kind of racism,It's their home.Also, older people are "set in their ways and were brought up in a different time"so give them a chance to change.
2006-06-26 13:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by missyandgordon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sad to say but your grandparents already have there mind made up. If you don't bring him then you should just go by yourself. Or you could tell your grandpaernts you won't go if he can't but I don't know what good that would do.
2006-06-26 13:40:50 · answer #10 · answered by Antonio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋