He is an alcoholic.He always argue with her and trys to beat her.Well he used to!He doesnt work and he isnt worth anything.All he does is stir up drama he is not my real father.I hate him,cant stand him.What should she do?What can I do to help her?
2006-06-26 12:52:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can talk to your mom about how you feel about her partner. Let her know you are worried for her safety as well as your own safety. You can only let her know how you feel and try to point things out to her - you can't make her see the light or get rid of him.
2006-06-26 12:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really her business and prerogative. Be a friend to your mother, watch for trouble and report it to authorities.Bring all your friends to your house to see what is happening. Bring old friends of your mother to the house. Find another man for your mother.Make a party for the summer.Take a cooking class and start cooking for every body things you like to eat.Be all the time with your friend.Finish your education in the high order and look for the best paying job.Dress the best way you can, learn about the law, be a respected member of the society.
2006-06-26 20:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by ASTROALCHER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism is a disease, and I know you didn't ask how to help him, but helping him is the key. An alcoholic can only be helped by setting personal bounderies, then following through. It sounds like your mom has become an enabler, and is "stuck in an unhealthy co-dependant relationship, so her self esteem is probably low, so you can help your mom by encouraging her, letting her know she deserves better than to be responsible for someone who is obviously ill, and is not taking responsibility for himself. No one can make him get help, he has to want it, your mom is not responsible for him, and you might not want to tell her this but, speaking from experience, she would be better off alone unless he decides to seek treatment for his issues, which is a long road and committment.
P.S. It's probably not the man that you hate, but the affects of his illness, his behaviour, and the frustratation & pain it causes your mom and yourself. Hang in there, and for every difficult challenge life happens to inflict you with, do what you are already doing, seek answers, look up alcoholism and co-dependant relationships to enlighten your journey.
2006-06-26 20:16:45 · answer #3 · answered by dragonfly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she obviously gets some sort of need filled by being with him. If he used to beat her then she is considered a victim of abuse. I recommed reading up on "the cycle of abuse". It will probably teach you quite abit about how those relationships go. Your mom gets quite a bit of satisfaction from him despite all the negativity you see. Perhaps she has trouble with the idea of being alone and not having anyone to protect her. Often times women seek out men just for that sense of security.
2006-06-26 19:56:14 · answer #4 · answered by odieman42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you and your Mom is going through this with this man and there is nothing that she Can do to help him he can only help himself and when he's ready he will. And your mom is thinking if I help him then he will change because we feel like we can do this but all we are to him is a crouch and she is hurting him more so than helping him. But one thing you and your mom can do is go to a A.A. class so then she'll see and get a better understanding of how powerless she is to trying to help this man that is not ready t be helped. So on that note I wish you Luck
2006-06-26 20:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by dangerously in love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mother was in a situation sorta like that, the thing is she has to want to leave him, if she does not want to leave him then she wont. all you can do is sit and express your feelings to her on what is going on and ask her what she feels about the relationship she is in and take it from there. maybe you can make her see that it is not good for her to be with him. what ever reason she ever loved him for in the first place is what is holding her there or maybe she is scared to leave that he will hurt her, in that case just let her know that all she has to do is get the divorces papers and then get a restraining order to keep him away. just let her know that you will be there for her till the end of all of it that she dont have to do it alone, that you dont like seeing her in this situation. good luck
2006-06-26 19:57:43 · answer #6 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of these answers doing it for you?
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2006-06-26 19:53:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just echoed my childhood. You can't help her, and you won't be able to convince her. He doesn't do anything to YOU does he? As lomg as you're ok, then she just needs to figure it out for herself. If he's doing anything to you, tell someone... anyone... everyone... scream it from the rooftops as loud as you can.
2006-06-26 19:55:43 · answer #8 · answered by El 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the cops, have him arrested, and move away from him..force your mother out of that relationship, it's not healthy, he needs help and all ya'll can do is stand back, say a prayer for all of you.
2006-06-26 19:54:53 · answer #9 · answered by contraamphibium 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one big word is pray. because it appears that your mom is under a deep spell and she can't break free, but there is one man that can help you and her and that man is JESUS. keep your head up because he cares and LOVES you.
2006-06-26 20:11:21 · answer #10 · answered by tmoni1970 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋