My GF asked me for months to allow her to use a strap on on me. I finally agreed. It was painfull at the begining, but she insisted, and I got used to it ( about 2 mos).
Now, all she wants to do is mount me, and, she enjoys it too much, she transform into a animal, I do not understand. I can not seem to be able to put it a stop. I love her very much, I do not want to lose her. She adores me, and tells me she always wanted to have a BF that would let her take charge. I am confused.I love her, and I will do anything to please her. But I am afraid of her enjoyment of using the strap on, she wants to dominate me.
2006-06-26 12:05:47 · 23 answers · asked by CALIENTE 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You have two choices: either tell her that you don't like it anymore and ask her to stop or put up with it. You might be able to compromise and do it only once it a while, but if neither of you are willing to compromise then it looks like it's time to find a new girlfriend.
2006-06-26 12:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by xyz_gd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't "kind of make you gay"! Many women enjoy domination, it's not about the sex, it's about being in charge. Try telling her how you feel about the strap on, and suggesting an alternate form of domination once in a while, let her know that you don't necessarily want to be in a submissive position ALL the time. Try using a double sided, that way you both get to have a little control.
2006-06-26 12:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by NoBoysAllowed! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about this? You have been very good about fulfilling her sexual needs, and she needs to be better about fulfilling yours. Perhaps if you talk to her, you could reach a compromise, like a certain number of times a month that the strap-on can be used, or at least make the strap-on sex equal to the number of non-strap-on sexual trysts you have. She might not even realize that you are made so uncomfortable by this! If she cares about you, surely she will be reasonable. If you talk to her and she is unwilling to compromise, than I would take a long hard look at the relationship and decide whether to stay or go...I would say go, but that is of course your choice.
2006-06-26 12:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by cay_damay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK first, hehehhe. Second, you need to tell her to stop doing that. For a change put the freaking strap on her. She needs to know that she can't always dominate, that's just not how a relationship works. You can love her, but if you can't even breath with her, you have to dump her.
2006-06-26 12:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by Girly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a relationship question and is in the wrong topic area. Plus just tell her how you feel, what else do you think you can do? Step up.
On the other hand females are just as dominat as males. If you don't like it then move on, don't try to change her.
2006-06-26 12:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody has a right to force their partner into sex acts they don't wish to perform. It doesn't matter if it is a man or woman, lesbian, straight, bi or gay relationship. She doesn't respect your wishes, and unfortunately that shows you how much she cares about your feelings. She very well may not realize how wrong and hurtful it is to you. She may be immature and selfish, but you must sit down and talk to her about this very directly and then make your decision based on her answers. Hopefully, she will listen to you and realize what a lucky gal she is.
2006-06-26 12:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by okidoll821 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you're not into it anymore. If she didn't like something in the bedroom, I'm sure you wouldn't insist on it ....you already are being dominated by your refusal to put a stop to something that makes you uncomfortable
2006-06-26 12:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her about how you feel. Explain to her that you want to make her happy, but that you aren't happy with the current arrangement. Let her know that you agree'd to let her "dominate" you because you wanted to please her, but you didn't realize it would be a regular thing or such an important thing for her.
She should respect your feelings and wishes if she loves you, so just be honest with her.
2006-06-26 12:09:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with a boyfriend of mine and believe me it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power. Quite often people who don't feel they have any control over you find that this makes them feel like they have. With my ex, the abuse (and let's face it, that's what it is) escalated until I had to get out. You have to ask yourself why someone gets turned on from hurting someone else.
2006-06-26 12:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by Dianne C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's it exactly, she does want to dominate you. She needs a man with a backbone to take charge and dominate her once in a while. She wants bdsm so give it to her!
2006-06-26 12:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by gypsygirl272004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋