my husband and i don't have a sex life I am thinking about cheating on him should I ?

Question

I have tried everything I have tried different positions with him, giving him more foreplay I dont know what else to do. He has hypospadias and has a problem with ejaculation and it seems to me he has just given up on sex. I still want to have sex very much but i cant continue like this. I dont know what to do.

my husband has been to a doctor several several times. He has had alot of surgeries and they finally had success with the last surgery to where he is not sick all of the time with urinary tract infections. My husband is not happy unless he is sick is what i have come to believe. I have stood by him through all of this for along time now for years. Thats why i say i dont know how much more i can take. We have went to therapy and he has seen a psyciatrist. I am not sure what else is left except maybe to let him have another surgery so he will be happy and get more attention while i can be left without sex for another year. Anyway that sums it it...

Answer 1

Has he gone to see a doctor about his problem? It may be something easily fixed with medication. If he refuses to deal with the issue, go cheat. It is sad but true, when sex is good in a relationship it is about 5%, but when it is bad it is 95% of the relationship. Physical needs are strong, important and directly relate to the mental well bieng of a person. While cheating may not make people happy, sometimes you have to watch out for yourself.

Answer 2

What was those words you said in your vows..."for better or worse". Guess what? This is the worse. Sure would make him feel good, on top of what he's already feeling, if he knew you were getting yours somewhere else. No, I'm not judging you, just giving you something to think about. While I'm sure it's not easy for you to think these things, think of what he's thinking and living with. He didn't sign up for this. He thought he'd have a full life with you, and now he's got something he didn't ask for. Let me let you in on a secret that maybe many others don't know about...you won't die without sex. So, when you say "you can't continue like this", what you mean is that you've put more emphasis on sex than you have your relationship with your husband. Think about it, before getting your undies in a wad and yelling at me. You haven't even been through all the hard stuff that can happen in a marriage. Would he bug out on you if this was you? No, you both work this thing out. You learn that there's more to marriage than sex. I know you know this. While it's frustrating for you to no longer have what you once had, it's not something that can't be worked through. What will you have accomplished by cheating on him? Once won't be enough. Then, there's the thing about adultery. And AIDS. And pregnacy. And eventually, divorce...after all, you'll have found someone else to fill your needs. I know you've thought this thing to death. But have you really? While I know that you're feeling a part of you is empty, and unfulfilled, you can find other ways to fill your needs and make your marriage work. Too many throw in the towel when things get tough. But, it's the rare person who shows a depth to their character by sticking through the tough times. And this is the tough times that was spoken of in your wedding vows. I suggest sitting down with your hubby and telling him how much you love him, even though you both have this situation. Ask him if there's a way you both can win. Talk to your doctor and see if there's something that can help, whether it's medication or relaxation methods. If not, just learn to be content with a man who still loves you. You have more than most women in America have. <*)))><

Answer 3

No, I don't think you should cheat. You are an adult. You know how to speak about everything, so why not speak about the problems you and your husband are having? Open up to each other, and don't be afraid (unless you think that your situation is not safe) Talk and open up dialect. If you don't ask you won't know. If tempation is around you, deflect it. You are in a marriage that had to be built off of trust and true love at one point of time. A wife sticks by her husband no matter what. Research and find ways to improve the situation, dont just take the cop out.
-PEace

Answer 4

Well Mrs Medic you of all people should know that your husband needs to go to the Dr. for his ejaculation problem. After all didn't we take an oath to do know Harm? Even I learned that one in class. But as for the 2nd part of your question. Should you cheat on your husband. NO He has a problem and he needs help, you shouldn't run from him, I know you are not happy right now but think about how he feels, maybe he is depressed. You should sit down with him and have a long talk tell him how you feel. If he won't seek help maybe it would be better to end your marriage. But don't cheat on him.

Answer 5

Thing of the big picture. If he feels incompetent now, how will he feel that you went to a stranger for something he can't fulfill. Maybe if he doesn't feel like it, try some toys with him involved. But be honest, tell him you will try what he needs, but he has to try to give you what you need also. Nothing good every comes of an affair, and are you willing to give up everything for sex? Not that it's not important, but if you were divorced looking back- was it worth giving up what was good about him? Try to think it through and not just react. Good luck!

Answer 6

It's not really his fault since it's a health problem... I don't think you should cheat on him... bad idea. But again, it's hard for me to imagine what it's like to be in your position- it must be really frustrating.
But there are other ways to relieve yourself, you don't need to cheat on him. It will just create more problems b/w the 2 of you... plus... wouldn't you feel guilty afterwards?

Answer 7

Why cheat when it's so easy to get a separation or divorce?
Oh - he's ill - that might be a reason to give him a break and take him to the doctor - instead of looking to cheat.

Answer 8

Have you tried talking to your doctor about it - there are medications men can take - I'm not sure what they are but there's all kinds of medications for sexual problems. I'd try talking to your doctor first - it isn't worth ruining your marriage over. And get yourself a vibrator for personal satisfaction - don't be ashamed of using one - that's what there there for.

Answer 9

there was atime when my husband and I didn't either but I've learned to not be so nervous and scared. I think sometimes he is more happy with oral than within me because he knows it turns me on. positions are fine if both of you are into it but it doesn't really mean he has a disorder. Sometimes it's not what you do but how you do it.

Answer 10

If you're married to the guy, the first step I would say would be to talk to him about it. There are many, many different solutions to unsatisfying sex lives, from using various tools and whatnot, to bringing in outside parties (if the two of you can handle a swinging lifestyle). If you try to discuss various means and methods of giving you satisfaction and he's not receptive, then I say do what you need to do to make yourself happy and fulfilled.

Answer 11

Your perfect answer will contain, look ahead to a delicate time best previously mattress time, and confront him at the same time with your suspicions. do not come properly out and accurse him of dishonest, even besides the undeniable fact that, if anybody might want to understand if he's been unfaithful, it will be you from understanding his options over the years. provide him the probability to describe what's happening with the lack of intimacy, and it would want to exercising recurring that he does favor something diverse for success. in uncomplicated phrases, ask him to enable you be the single to look after that thirst. If he's not any longer seeing anybody else, he will be shocked and overwhelmed with exhilaration. in which case, do not disappoint him. good success and luxuriate in!