on top of that, she is seeing somebody. Sure I did lack a lot of things but i never cheated on her. Just really confused right now.
2006-06-26 11:57:30 · 21 answers · asked by ca97 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dear lost soul,
first let me tell you i am sorry for what you are going through for i know exactly how you feel for i have not only had that done to me once but twice. once by a guy that i was engaged to and had with for over 3 years. i had moved from another state to be with him and left all my family behind so when we broke up i was stuck in a state where i knew no one and had 3 children of my own on top of that. so it was hard. the second man i was with was for almost a year and i first found him cheating online with other woman and thought well he never did take it to that other level and gave him another chance but only to my dimay i got smart and put spyware on my computer and found out a year into the relationship that not only was he lying to me and telling me he was working and not...he was actually doing drug runs for an old buddy of his who i forbid him to be around and i found out he was not talking to woman anymore online but had started talking to men and was actually meeting the men. i was devastated. i finally had enough and called my mother and father and they came and got me and the kids . yeah i need help in the begining being a single mom and being on disability but i made it through it. i went through the dating things online and i came through alot of jerks but i vowed this time i was not going out with anyone that would not accept me for who i was and my children always came first no matter what. for 6 months i struggled paying bills and wondering if i would have food on the table and when the lord seen me at my lowest and down on my knees that is when he picked me up and carried me to my angel. that is the man whom i am engaged to today. see i never told you the first part of my story. over 16 years ago i was married once and over 13 years ago i watched in horror as my husband took a 357 magnum to his head and kill himself. never until now have i ever found love like that and the love i have now is stronger than i ever had with him. even though you hurt now it is only a trial and it is something that god is putting you through to only make you stronger. i have learned that all my 36 years. i was 17 when married and 21 when widowed and raising 2 baby boys. then 5 years later i dealt with a man who abused me so bad he beat while i was pregnant with my 11 year old daughter now. i am a stronger woman than i would have been . good things happen to those that wait .....that is a good motto to live by. i hope things go well for you and may god bless you
2006-06-26 12:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by babyblue_4u2_2000 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if there are no feelings, then you should cut her loose. why do you want to remain with someone who doesnt love you or appreciate you?
get a divorce, you deserve better... let this be a lesson learned. since you lacked a lot of things, now you know what it takes to make a marriage work. and next time, do things right.
unless of course you still love her, and you think that if you try hard enough she will fall back in love with you or realize she never really stopped loving you. and you will change whatever you were doing wrong...
do whats best for you. but you better be willing and able to forgive and forget her for cheating... or else, dont even consider it. its not something you want to be fighting about down the line.
good luck!
2006-06-26 12:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by LiLiTh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what happened and why did she cheat on you? what just because you lacked a few things......just make sure to ask her what you did wrong and see if it can be helped or worked out. If not then if i were you and she gave me other answers other than what i wanted to hear.......then i would give her another chance and then if that didnt work then i would ask again and then i would get a divorce. You need to be with someone who truly loves you for you and not for anything else for that matter.
2006-06-26 12:03:32 · answer #3 · answered by fryeindustries2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you are going trough this, I am in the same situation right know, me and my husband have had a very big fight which made me loose my feeling for him, the other day I felt empty as if i was looking at a stranger telling me he was sorry. but for me to go and cheat on him...no!give her time to see what she wants, maybe by the time she realizes she loves you you might have already moved on.
2006-06-26 12:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by melinda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but if she doesn't have feelings for you, it's over, let her go....why would you think you deserve a woman who doesn't love you? Remember, regardless what she has said or done or what you may have said or done, it is never only one person's fault that a relationship ends. Take time to see where you feel you need improve (for yourself, nobody else), allow time for your heart to heal and then, you'll find a woman who loves you, wants you and will appreciate you for who you are. It's time to let go of this one.......time will heal the wounds.
2006-06-26 17:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by one_charmed_01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SURE YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER BECAUSE OTHER WISE YOU WOULDNT BE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS FROM THE OUTSIDE. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU SHOULD HAVE A LOT MORE SELF WORTH FOR YOURSELF TO JUST LET HER GO AND DO HER THING. IF YOU KNOW THAT SHE HAS SOMEONE ELSE WHY ARE YOU STILL HANGING AROUND? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED IN THE MANNER SHE IS TREATING YOU? I'M SURE YOU CAN PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AND BE A MAN! DON'T BE WAITING AROUND FOR HER LIKE A FOOL.(SORRY I KNOW I DON'T KNOW YOU AND IT'S A STONG WORD)IF YOU DO, THEN SHE WILL ALWAYS THINK YOU WILL BE THERE FOR HER. IF SHE'S NOT THERE FOR YOU THEN FORGET IT. YOU DON'T NEED HER. BULID YOUR SELF ESTEEM! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND THINGS WILL LOOK DIFFERENTLY FOR YOU.
**** IF YOU HAVE KIDS DON'T LET THAT CHANGE YOU. SHE OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T CARE WHY SHOULD YOU? JUST GO ON BEING THE PARENT YOU ARE.
2006-06-26 12:06:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are those things you lacked, was is showing your feelings? was it showing her love? she left you because you did something, you said you lacked alot of things, well god for her for leaving, now you, you have to focus on yourself now and move on. learn from this and look at what you did wrong so you wont do it again. if she left then let her go she wasnt worth it, maybe you were ok and she was into others, she wasnt the one for you. god luck.
2006-06-26 12:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that, how would u like to find out that the woman u love has been playing u for 6 yrs, and never cared about you
2006-06-26 12:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man thats too bad. You're still with her even knowing she's cheating and doesn't care for you......Thats hard. Cheating is not good nor is adultery. I commend you for giving it your all by staying together.You have to make the final decision.......
2006-06-26 12:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your still maried it seems like she will only break your heart. I would suggest having a serious one on one converation and mayube calling off the marriage.. theres plenty of fish in the sea!!
2006-06-26 12:01:16 · answer #10 · answered by KT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋