Our relationship was ended by her after 22 months together. I am 43 and have never been married. We knew each other for over a year before that. My anger and rage is a problem for which I am getting professional help. I never physically abused her and have never and would never hit her. My feelings for her are so strong. I pour out my heart, life and soul to her. I do things for her because I love her. I do not do them to 'win points.' I have been a miserable mess over this. My passion for her is so strong and I find myself pleasuring myself when I think of my attraction to her. I have never cared about anyone like this in my life. Any comments would be appreciated.
2006-06-26 11:37:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough situation to be in, and without knowing more, I feel like my advise is limited. However, I am a passionate man that loves strongly, and I am prone to unhealthy rage and anger...I explode, and like you, am not physically abusive. The thing is, I never realized how scary it would be to be a woman, or man at that, with me that angry at 6'4", 230lbs, eyes wide open, yelling passionately, saying things in stronger ways than I really mean. I've learned that I need to work on this, a lot, and will always be self-aware in this way. I believe the tough question to ask yourself is how much damage have you done? Sometimes, damage is permanent--the question is, does she still love you (do you believe this in your heart?), has she frozen over, or is there still a smoldering flame?
If you believe you have a chance, then you need to approach her in a way that is comfortable. Perhaps you should do something you don't always do--like write a letter--not an e-mail, but a letter. Say everything you want, don't excuse--explain, enlighten, apologize, and tell her you don't want to live life without her.
2006-06-26 11:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Drew 2 · 20⤊ 2⤋
I am so sorry to hear that. I know what it's like to break up on those types of terms. I was quite the mess after the break up (about two years ago) and I still think of him from time to time, even though I've moved on.
If you want some advise, I think that people will need more details. What were her reasons for the break up? How recent was this? You do sound like a very passionate man; maybe she got a little scared? Needed space? I wish I could say something more, but I don't do cliches.
Best of luck to you.
2006-06-26 18:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by soulestada 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if anger was your big issue then let her know you are seeking help and that when you are better you would like to try to start over again..But dont allow yourself to be taken as a fool by her you have opened yourself up to her and she knows the control she has over you so becareful that you are not taken as a fool with his heart on his sleeve..I know you just want her to realize that you love her unconditionally but the truth of the matter is maybe she has just stopped loving you or believes your feelings are stronger then hers and she might not be able to handle that..But Good Lick
2006-06-26 19:33:19 · answer #3 · answered by shell b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds sad because it seems like you really cared for her. You have to realize when things don't work out, they just don't work out and if the other person has made up their mind not to be with you there is little you can do. Your self worth does not revolve around this one person. You have your life to live and eventually you will find someone who wants to be with you. In the meantime, I would concentrate on yourself. If there are things in your life that you don't like change them. If you don't you might find the same thing happening again.
I know it hurts but you will get better and be happy again, just be strong. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-06-27 00:49:16 · answer #4 · answered by Blah Blah Blah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what is the exact reason to why you and your exgf broke up? If it was your anger problem, do seek professional help and once you are being cured for it, tell her that you are changing and that you are becoming more understanding now. I understand that you love her very much but change yourself first with the anger and rage problem and once she sees that you are a changed man, I'm sure she would appriciate that.
2006-06-26 18:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by MedStudent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep up with the therapy. Anger does no one any good. Unfortuanately in life the ones we love don't always love us back. It's just one of those things you have to learn to accept and find a way to try again with someone else. It does take time and work to do that. Good luck and may you find someone new who will reciprocate your feelings.
2006-06-26 18:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie, Debbie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she feel smothered? Sometimes a lack of personal space can drive people away. Also, there are many types of abuse. I had a boyfriend for 4 years and he would emotionally abuse me, anger and rage and would take it out on me without knowing it. Give her some space.
2006-06-26 18:41:06 · answer #7 · answered by Rebeca O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what was her reason for ending the relationship? if your anger was her reason...maybe tell her what you have written here about how much you love her and work out something like taking a break till you work on your anger then show her how you are improving.
2006-06-26 18:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by ravinskye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should accept that the relationship is over because the fact that it is over speaks for itself.
2006-06-26 18:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it looks like it was the anger that did it here. get help first and then go and tell her exactly how you feel about her.
2006-06-26 18:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by you_me_set 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋