I've been married for about 11 years but my husband and i have been together for about 12 years and i am tired of being his wife. he's very controlling and too demanding . he wants to know my every move evry time i leave the house even if i go two house down. I'm just tired of it all.
2006-06-26 10:57:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should just tell him. But you probably missed a lot of hints he was that way, I'm sure this didn't just happen. If you let someone treat you one way and you sdon't say anything, they will always treat you that way.
2006-06-26 11:01:04 · answer #1 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... That is not easy. Do you have kids? You have invested some serious time. You should go to marriage counselor before you throw the towel. This feelings will probably pass. Work with your husband and you both can learn how to meet in the middle. COMPROMISE!!This past years could not have been a mistake, there is something you love about him, search for that.
I have been married for 12 years, and sometimes is tiresome, I am looking forward growing old together, love conquers all!!
2006-06-26 11:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly,TX 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are no kids involved then just find somewhere else to live, wait til he goes to work, pack all of your stuff and move out, be waiting for him when he returns (make sure you have someone close by) and tell him its over. If there are kids, then be very careful, I walked out on an abusive husband and Ive been fighting for 2 and a half years for full custody of my son.
Dominating men can get very mean when you stand up for yourself and leave them, but if you have made up your mind to leave, hen do so and dont make the mistake of going back, even if he says he will change, men like that will lie and cheat just to get you back in their control.
2006-06-26 11:27:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends if he is abusive....pack up and call him from a unknown number and never return.....but if he's not abusive I think you should stick it out and come to some kind of compromise....My husband was like that and I was too ready to leave him but I stuck it out because I knew it was my husband's issues and not me he was lashing out at...I just simply put my foot down when I thought he was being unfair..he can only controll you if you let him do so.and I changed a lot of my ways too ......you know we have to look @ ourselves also...and now we are not perfect but our marriage is a whole lot better.....so if your husband loves you and you love him stick it out the grass is never greener in other relationships you will be annoyed by someone else also.........by the way I'v been married for 10 1/2 years.....
2006-06-26 11:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by Cookie48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do like my husband did and leave a note and take off. He deserves a little more dignity than that, even if he has been a jerk. I agree with the person that said have a place to go first. Then you need to sit down with your husband and tell him the decision you have come to. Be prepaired for the 50 million questions he is going to ask. I wish you luck.
2006-06-26 11:07:00 · answer #5 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Kelly,TX, bruja4love and djroth_22 have the right idea. Are their kids involved? It's too easy to get a divorce nowadays with so many "no-fault" state laws. We raising generations of kids who don't see any value in relationships of any kind. Unless, there is abuse or mental illness, I don' see why marriages are ending like rain falls. Seek counseling. Serious counseling.
Or you can do what my future ex-wife is doing/did. Tell me after sex ... two rounds of sex. During the holidays. Ignoring the impact on our two children. Rewrite our 14 years together to justify her insanity. Leave me for her career ... no infidelity involved on either parties! Apparently, she has narcistic personality disorder, according to the therapist. She lacks the empathy to see what the impact of what she is doing on other people outside of herself. Not my words. The professional that my wife thinks is full of BS. In my case, ending the marriage isn't worth it but if it means to protect my two kids from the horrible presence of a mental health problem, then a divorce is justified.
Good luck with yours.
2006-06-26 11:32:28 · answer #6 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have to be sure that you want to divorce. If he is very controlling like you said, you have to be very care full, and think ahead, controlling people is usually vindictive too, (I'm married to one).o think ahead about your children (if you have), properties,etc. It would be good if you consult a lawyer, to know with details what to expect, and when you are well informed, just then, talk to your husband.
2006-06-26 11:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by None 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frist start with a simple I don't love you and I want to move on. Then do what you must to get the papers that you need I hope that nobody gets hurt in this and yes you need some space he shouln't control everything that you do wish you the best
2006-06-26 11:12:30 · answer #8 · answered by HONEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just let him know your true feelings ask for some time about or a separation first just to see howhe reacts to the news when u do decideto tell him make sure u inform someone close to u what u plan on doing the same night just to be on the safe side in case he doesn't take the news so well i wish u peace
2006-06-26 11:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a place to go before I told him. Have someone pack up my things while he and I were in a public place where I could tell him it's over. I would let him know that when we drive away from this place I will not be going with him. I would have someone waiting to drive me to my new place. And that would be it.
2006-06-26 11:03:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋