I need help, i am in love with a married man. I met hiM 5 months before he got married. now that he is married, we both realized that we both have strong feelings for eachoher. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I want him to leave his wife but that will never happen. he has been divorced once and married twice! I know I am a sad case...i am a horrible person. but why cat two people that love eachother be together. I want to let him go but a big part of me wants to stay and be his mistress but I just cant accept the fact that she will always come first. I get pissy when he talks to her or even has sex with her! I dont want him out of my life and he doent want me out of his life. He both live at the opposite sides of the country but we are madly in love with eachother. We make plans to see every 2 months and everyday online.its so painful coz i want to be with him, and he wants to be with me but the marriage has only been a month! what should i do?
2006-06-26 10:34:29 · 32 answers · asked by LOVE HURTS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYONE THAT TOOK THE TIME TO REPLY. i actually took everyones advise and finally let him go! It was very difficult but It sure is worth it!
2006-06-26 16:53:07 · update #1
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY! It looks like he made his choice already. A man will never leave his wife to be with the other woman. If you guys were talking before he got married and he still married the other woman...I'm sorry to say, but he is not thinking about leaving his wife for you. He has his cake and eating it too..so to say. You are only hurting yourself if you continue to pursue this relationship. Save yourself from anymore heartache and just end it.
2006-06-26 10:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there...done that....for 7 years....you have 2 choices...you can either cut ties, no matter how painful it seems (it will be more painful the longer you stay w/him because he will never leave his wife, and even if he did, do you want a guy that cheats on his spouse?! he'll do it to you...)...or you can sit around for the next 1, 2, 3, 4+ years and have your insides in turmoil over him not being able to be with you and when you do end things (because one of you will in the long run) you will then realize how much of your life you wasted away on something you couldn't have....and then when you DO find Mr. Right, karma will strike back and he will do to you what you are doing now......don't you deserve better?
2006-06-26 11:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think he would be any more faith full to you. Your his entertainment. Leave him alone so he can at least try to have a good marriage. You need to move on to someone who is available. If he had wanted you he would not have gotten married. It's not fair for you two to treat his wife this way. How would you feel if it was you. Do you want to be the one that causes a marriage to go bad. It could be you some day, so think about what your doing. What goes around comes back to you in the end.
2006-06-26 10:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by laurelbush28762 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you as much as he says, he'd have gotten his marriage anulled or wouldn't have married in the first place. There's only one person here that I feel sorry for and that's his wife. What you shoud do is let him go. If he's meeting you then that makes him a cheater...and do you have so little self-respect that you have to waste your time on a married man who has no intention of divorcing his wife? Think about it... geez..
The feeling that you have for him will pass... it actually sounds more like an obsession with something you cannot have. Sorry for being so blunt.
2006-06-26 10:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no chance of this working out for you.
Get out now, and stop wasting time on a dream that will never come true.
Meet someone local who you can actually have a real live relationship with. Long-distance relationships never work unless someone relocates, and it doesn't sound like that's going to happen.
Find a nice single local guy, and forget about the married dude. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be over it.
good luck!
2006-06-26 10:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a great man you have found, I mean he is strong enough to get married to one woman and cheat with another while keeping it all a secret. Wow, this guy is a real find. In fact, I bet he is so good, he could even have a thrid woman someplace you don't even know about, now that is a man worth having. A man like this you just can't let get away. Keep on waiting for him, the rest of your life if you have to. Men who can cheat on women without getting caught are rare, and you have found a keeper. You deserve each other.
2006-06-26 10:40:18 · answer #6 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are a skank, and dude is a complete dirtbag. Now that is out of the way, milk him for all he's worth. NOT. Honey, he will NEVER leave his wife for you, and if he did, what makes you think he wouldn't do it to you? Come on. Get smart. Get a single guy or live alone. How do you think the wife will feel when she finds out you two are talking everyday and humping every two months? Put yourself in her shoes, and stop being so selfish. He is not the last guy on earth, and not your last opportunity to fall in love. Just get out of your head for a moment and be logical about all this, and you will do the right thing.
Unless you are an idiot.
2006-06-26 10:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by very_deep_ass 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok Yes you are being a horrible person for messing with a married man. See, he will never leave his wife and you are just an occasional booty call. Watch it.. Karma exists and what you are doing now will come back to you. He is a dog and only wants to have his cake and eat it too, and you my dear are his little puppet on a string. He does not love you or his wife. He wants to fool with every woman he can, Move on!!!
2006-06-26 10:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by lifeislove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why put yourself through so much for pain when you know you can't have him? I suggest you put all this behind you and move forward. You will be a better person for it.
You have stated "...i just can't accept the fact that she will always come first." And yes, as long as he is married to her, she will come first! You only exist in the shadows. There is nothing more to it than that. Don't get yourself caught up in a 'love triangle'. ..it's not worth the pain and frustration.
2006-06-26 13:35:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he loves you, he sound like the kind of man that like the rush of been on a forbidden relation, like you said he would never let his wife, and he knows you going to be for him, even if his married. You are not a horrible person, but if what you are doing make you feel that way, them don't do it any more.Move on , you deserve better, there is somebody for everybody, and you don't need to be the second in the life of anybody, remember you deserve to be number one.
2006-06-26 10:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by None 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋