whats the best way to have amazing sex in a long term relationship?

Answer 1

First and most important: it is possible, it simply takes a conscious choice to keep sex amazing and a willingness to be responsible for causing this to be in your relationship. We celebrated our 27th anniversary last week, and yes, sex is still great. (In some ways it's better; when we were first married, my wife hadn't figured out how to give me multiple orgasms...)

But the best way to continue to have a great sex life is mostly due to the relationship you have, so if you're looking for kinky sex tips, read some of my other answers. This one is about how you treat each other, because when the period you're talking about is measured in decades, how you treat each other is the most important predictor of continued, regular, and varied sex.

So, with that in mind:

Never forget that you LIKE each other, because liking somebody brings with it a wealth of openness and acceptance of them just the way they are, and that makes the long-term relationship that much better. Take time for each other, whether that's over a table for two at your favorite restaurant or under the covers after the kids have gone to bed. Spending time alone with each other becomes more important over time, in my experience. Remind yourself from moment to moment WHY you like each other and WHY you enjoy each others' company.

At the same time, some people -- especially mothers of babies and very young children -- need time alone, as in with nobody else at ALL. For new moms, it's because babies need constant attention, contact, and care, and are TOTALLY dependent on Mom, and this can make her sick of physical contact (which therefore makes sex a little difficult). So be sure to learn, and respect, each others' alone time.

Explore the difference between sex and intimacy -- and learn that great intimacy can be more rewarding than so-so sex. (How to explore it? Talk about it. Ask each other what makes you feel closer together, what are the things you do that you know NOBODY else in the world would do for/with/to you.)

Keep active. I'm overweight and middle-aged, and sex is a LOT more enjoyable for me when I go to the gym regularly. And keep an eye on each others' health, too -- some medical conditions cause a change in sex drive or in the pleasure/comfort that we get from sex. A change in how much one or the other enjoys sex may actually mean that you have a medical condition (as simple as a yeast infection, as complex as diabetes or high blood pressure) that needs to be treated -- it does NOT automatically mean that you're old and you have to give up any chance of having good sex.

Most important: TRUST each other. Which of course really means, be somebody that your spouse can trust. In all sorts of ways -- big ways, like not having affairs, and little ways, like being the one who replaces the toilet-paper roll.

Answer 2

Experiment with new ideas, locations, and decide what you'd like to do for fun tonight... or go with the flow, so to speak :) Be spontaneous, open-minded to the new ideas / comments / suggestions :) Most importantly be positive and have fun :)

Answer 3

R U shure you've tried everything? Camasutra has some pointers. Buena Suerte!

Answer 4

each time u guys have sex, try new things, like toys, food and lots of 4 play.. have fun

Answer 5

love the person u r with, when u do the sex is always great

Answer 6

Lots and lots of practice. Talk about it openly, teach your partner what pleases you and ask him/her what pleases him/her.

Answer 7

Try new things

Answer 8

oral homage on a regular basis

Answer 9

try and do different positions, be spontanous !! let loose and do not be shy !!