When I approached him about it he said it had nothing to do with me and it was purely "entertainment", that it does not even make him horny...I don't get it...y would u prefer to stay up till 7am lookin @ porn when you know darn well that ur woman is lying in bed naked and waiting for you?....and then when you do come to bed, you don't even try to touch her!! But yet you say ur are 100% happy and satisfied with her..I am so confused...and it does hurt:( He was not open about it..I discovered it on the computer myself and asked him about it...it is not something he is at all willing to give up nor does he feel he should need to...and it's not just a "not real life" thing...he likes to go strip clubs too, but only says he can't afford to...but would, regardless of how I feel about it...I know I am very insecure, but are my feelings at all justified?
2006-06-26 10:20:20 · 23 answers · asked by Heather 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
who cares if they look at porn its a natural thing to do so dont worry itll be all right
2006-06-26 10:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by mixedbreed76 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should tell him the way you feel, and that he shouldn't ever want to do something that he knows is going to hurt you. Everyone has a different opinion on that stuff. Personally I think that anything sexual should be shared only between you and your spouse. If he wanted to watch a porn or look at something, it would have to be something you would both do together. He should never be looking behind your back. If he feels that your relationship needs some spice, he should ask you to help him think of ways to enhance your sexual relationship. If he can't stop, then he probably has an addiction to it. You deserve respect. If you are not holding back, and he just needs some sexual relief. Then there is no excuse. Don't put up with it, tell him he needs to figure out what he wants. Because this is not what you want, and you deserve better. Good luck...
2006-06-26 17:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by Emily :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you say yours is a happy, committed, sexually satisfying relationship if this is the way he is. He would rather look at pictures of naked women doing things with other men and claim it doesn't stimulate him, rather than be in bed with a wife who obviously loves him and is there to feel and touch and make love too? He would go to strip clubs and watch women undress because it doesn't arouse him, then tell you he'd do it regardless of what you say? This man doesn't even have any respect for you. how can he have anything else. His only concern is his own selfish desires.
2006-06-26 17:39:41 · answer #3 · answered by oldman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot help how you feel. Some men need poorn more than others. I only watch it when I have no partner, but in my case is because I do have a very active sexual life with my gf. But I have met very healthy and happy couples where the guy watches porn and the girl doesn't mind it.
It just probably means he has a very high libido, it doens't mean he's going to act on it with a real girl other than you.
2006-06-26 17:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by rykkardo8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem in my marriage. My husband apparently wants porn more than the real deal. I don't get it. It is an addiction. And honestly when I see what he is watching I am totally turned off by his choice in viewing. Trashy sluts I mean I do all the turn ons and try to please him but he'd rather that sleeps on the couch and there I lay in bed without! IT's NUTS and Crazy I want a man that wants me for me and loves me I feel porn is takin his love and feelings to making him emotionally detatched from me! Good Luck! Don't let it get you down. If he choose to stick with doing that move on to a man that loves and respects you ! I am working on doing the same
2006-06-26 17:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im having the same problem with mine. What a small world huh. Well what i did was i told him how would he like it if i went and got a job as a stripper. I also talked to him about it bothering me and it seemed to help. I think the threat of me becoming a stripper really laid it down. I mean if he wants to go see them then why cant i be one. Maybe then he would want to look at me more right. I think its the fact of other guys looking hey how does he think those strippers boyfriends or husbands or whatever feel when he goes to see them. That is how he is going to feel if i ever did something like that and people went just to see me.
2006-06-26 19:40:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should understand that Men are visual oriented. They see sexual beauty and are excited by it. that is normal.
i think you should look at yourself first and see what hangups you have, where you are insecure and honestly listen to Him regarding where you might improve. i've known men who looked at porn less when the woman was able to satisfy them in and out of bed, the way they wanted, for the things that excited them.
i think your feelings are justified, if you want to always be insecure, left behind, lonely, etc.... however, if you want to be happy, leave the drama, the b**i**t**c**h'ing, the whining, the complaining, the wanting behind you, and work on listening, talking without all the emotions clouding the discussion, etc....
i've seen way too many women stuck up on this crap of 'he should love me just the way I am'...... instead of doing everything humanly possible to make absolutely sure He was pleased the way He wants to be pleased, when He wants to be pleased and how He wants to be pleased. i know from firsthand experience, both for myself and other girlfriends, that when you really listen and give to Him His way, it will turn around and you you will get from Him things your way.
my advice is to go way above and beyond in giving to Him selflessly first.
2006-06-26 17:56:03 · answer #7 · answered by slavef4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I just went though this same issue with my man. Tha only thing is that he finally seen how I felt and instood that I dont want him looking at it alone. So now he doesn't look at it unless Im there (not often). So it is like foreplay for us. He should stop because of the way you feel about it. It not right for him to say whatever and keep doing that.
2006-06-26 17:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by KJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel treatened and is tickling your insecurities.
If you are ina healthy and commited relationship and he is not straying, there is no reason to be concerned about. He comes home to you, isn't he?
Unless he spends alot of money on this and occupies most of his time, then is an issue, if is juts and sporadic thing then you don;t have to worry as porn is just a fantasy and is just enmbedded in men's psyche.
Good luck
2006-06-26 17:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think men are more visual than women are.I can understand how you feel. Before the internet ther was just movies and magazines. I would catch my husband masturbating to magazines. I finally had enough and told him the next time he wanted a **** job, ask 1 of the girls in the magazine for one. He has been my ex-husband for about 10 yrs. now and am re-married and can't imagine being any happier!!!
2006-06-26 17:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by pickle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn can be an addiction. Perhaps this has happened to your husband.
And even though he is not cheating with a real live woman, he is thinking about those women he is watching.
You have every right to feel hurt.
2006-06-26 17:29:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋