Does anyone like this Poem I wrote? Be serious. If not just spare the yourself the time in making fun of me!?

Question

"Our Hands Together" :

Your hand in mine,
such a beautiful thing,
our fingers pressing against each line;
In this I find hope-
Our hands the most holy shrine-
our hands conjoined as one,
and fear cannot breech,
and fear cannot overcome.
But in fear we lose it all,
the obstacles create new problems,
as we struggle to break your wall,
each time we try and touch each others fingers,
to short we fall.
In fear you laugh off seriousness,
your laughter summoning my fear brings me to isolation,
looking at you so I think "how mysterious" ,
am I losing it, am I becoming delirious?
Fear, such an ugly thing,
but your hands so beautiful,
I would fear for one touch of them,
for one taste of them,
for one seconds existence running through my hair down my face again,
but here I am looking into the sky,
empty hands,
watching the clouds go by,
your hand in mine I dream of,
our hands together once more IN love,
our hands together, dont you think of?

Answer 1

Except for the last line [I didn't understand it], I thought it was quite creative and catchy =)
You wrote about holding hands, one of the simplest signs of affection...
that's something I've never thought of, but it deserves this attention.
It makes me wonder what will happen if I lost my husband
I will surely miss the little things...like holding his hand.

Answer 2

It gets weaker as it goes on. End it at "overcome." Much of it doesn't make sense such as: "for one seconds existence running through my hair down my face again,"

I'm an English teacher and I would write " Verbose" on your poem. Nice try though. Keep writing.

Answer 3

All in all it was a very nice poem - I thought it could be a bit shorter but you should keep writing because you are good.

By the way I am having my first book published and should be on the shelves around christmas which is a book of my own poetry. So yeah I can see your talent.

Answer 4

I really like it! I especially like the part about fear. Keep on writing poems, you're good at it!

Answer 5

who ever you are you are pretty good , is was good you need to go to poems.com are you a teenager if so you need to get your words protected by seeing some one who can make sure nobody uses it . I wrote one a while back and someone stole it.

Answer 6

the last line is just a little bit awkward in the phrasing, but the chicks all seem to dig it, and that is what matters, right

Answer 7

Well at least the words rhyme and are mostly spelled correctly

Answer 8

Add:
My hands down your pants.
And you'll have something awesome.

Answer 9

its really nice ....good job you should write more.

Answer 10

I LOVE IT.YOU SHULD KEEP IT UP.WONDERFULL.