I am engaged to be married next year. I love this woman with all my heart and she loves me too. But I made some decisions in my past, that I am not proud of. I wasn't always a good man. Have been for ten years, but some things never go away and eventually comeback to haunt you. Mine caught up with me, but she does not need to be involved. I love her enough to let her go, without going through this with me. How do I do it? how do I break up with her?
2006-06-26 10:10:37 · 30 answers · asked by Luis T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know she'd stay, but she can't. She'd be in danger. Won't let her
2006-06-26 10:23:31 · update #1
If you are insistent on breaking up with her, you should just tell her exactly what you said here: that you are in trouble, and you love her enough to let her go before she gets hurt. However, from what you say, you have tried to straighten your life up. I don't think you should continue suffering for the mistakes you have made in the past. We all make them. Don't mean to bring religon into the convo, but God is able to forgive all. That means that people should do the same. I think if she is sincerely in love with you, too, you will find a way to work out your problems, get on with your lives together and put the past behind you.
2006-06-26 10:25:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and she loves you no matter what happens she will be there for you. You have to trust her and allow her to be there in your corner. Don't break up with her!! Now is time to see where she stands. If she can't handle it then maybe she's not the one but if she never leaves your side and sticks with you then she's a keeper. You will also know if she can handle being married because once you get married it's all about being there for the good times and bad.
2006-06-26 17:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by rainababy2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she loves you with all her heart and you love her with all of your heart - don't break up with her without giving her a chance to decide for herself. That's very selfish - you are assuming that she can't handle whatever it might be that's "come back to haunt you". It's not fair of you to make that decision for her. Give her a chance - she may surprise you. If she doesn't - then let her go. I think you may have already made up your mind though. ONE EXCEPTION! If you're gay - then you need to tell her and then end the relationship. But she deserves to know. You owe her that much!
2006-06-26 17:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by debbiedo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her as much as you say, then be totally honest with her... tell her everything and that is has caught up with you, and how it has... explain what your gonna be going through... and tell her how much you love her and all of your feelings for her, then explain to her that you love her enough to understand and let her go if that is what she chooses yet that you would be thrilled if she wants to stay... Give her the choice and allow her to make up her own mind.... Sounds like ya'll have something strong and great, why let it go without giving her a chance?...
2006-06-26 17:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by Fantasy Kel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with her. If you are supposed to get married next year she will understand that you have to break up. Depending on how bad of a mistake you made she may forgive, but she may not. The bottom line is be honest. Let her know that you are breaking up not because of her but whatever you did. Good Luck!
2006-06-26 17:15:58 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth and let her decide if she wants to be with you or not. It's not fair just to dump her and not discuss this with her. If you break her heart like that you will give her issues in her next relationship. BE HONEST. Just tell her whatever it is in your past because she will find out anyway and then you won't have a chance to explain.
2006-06-26 17:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what, I'm sure she would be insulted that yout think she would leave you and not stand by you just because of some past problems. Or that she couldnt handle it. Have some faith in her. Stop trying to let her off the hook before you even know if she wants to be. Even if they were bad, I would stand by my husband and show him that I am there for him, because I would want him to do the same for me. Dont love her enough to let her go. Love her enough to trust that she will stand by you and be a strong loving woman!!! I dont know specifically what your problems are but if you want to talk more about it, please instant message me and I will be there for you. I know what it feels like to be lost and not know what to do when you love somebody so much. starsalso@yahoo.com
2006-06-26 17:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are not giving her enough credit. If you love her, and she loves you also, together you should be able to overcome almost any "sins" that are 10 years in the past.
Try being straight up honest with her, explain the situation, and ask her to help you work it out. She might surprise you.
2006-06-26 17:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by wild1handy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if I was in her shoes and my boyfriend was in a difficult situation (like the one your in) well then Unconditional love is all I will need. It wouldn't matter to me what the problem was as long as my boyfriend was men enough to come to me and talk about it and not walk away without a good enough reason. I
if she loves you enough then she will understand and pull threw with you. If she decided to marry you is because she feels she is meant to be with you, if she doesn't then she never loved you enough.
good luck and hope she undersatnds,
2006-06-26 17:18:30 · answer #9 · answered by latina lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love her and if she loves you as much as you love her then you don't have to break up with her. If you break up with her, think of how much you're going to hurt her, and yourself. She will never forgive you. But if you really want to break up with her then you just have to tell her the truth(which i think you should've told her a long time ago so she would understand this better).
2006-06-26 17:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by luvcry247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋