2006-06-26 09:45:12 · 12 answers · asked by edsoames 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People who say leave her, they really don't understand. If you love someone, really love them, you can forgive anything. Love is not cold logic, love is illiogical, almost a drug like addiction. I would never make a prisoner out of a woman i truely loved, she would hurt me if she went with others, but i would find out what she is looking for. A wife is not a possession, if she loves you, find out what kind of love that is and if it's real, be happy, feel privaliged that another human being shares herself with you. Sex is not love, consider this when you talk to her. Tell her that you hate what she is doing, but you want to help and understand her. Some women get this way between 35 and 43, maybe they see their fading beauty and are looking for reassurance. if you want to keep her, start communicating, and be totally honest with her. If there is any good in her, she will stop, maybe not today, but she will see you and she will see those who are only using her. Tony, got it all wrong and lost my own loveley wife, because of lack of communication and honesty.
2006-06-26 16:12:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Ok so im not 40 years old... neither am i over 40...and neither am i a guy :) But its getting late and i cant sleep so i wanted to answer your question!
If my partner had cheated on me more than once-i would consider her (in this case) intentions as to why she was even with me. You have to question why she is even in this marriage-and why you are letting her do this again to you.
As the saying goes, "once a cheat always a cheat". This is especialley true-as once forgiven once, they will take advantage of this and be MORE likely to repeat the process of cheating on you again-as they obviousley think that they can get away with it.
When your wife cheated on you the first time, did you ask her why? Did you sit her down and discuss your relationship? If you want answers you really have to talk to her about it. Also, did your wife cheat on you with the same person as before? If so, this is alarm signals-perhaps she wants to be with this person more so than you.
You also have to ask yourself what is keeping you in this relationship-do you have children?Above all your happiness is what is important, and this woman is not making you happy.
If she really loved and respect you, fact is-she wouldnt cheat on you-fullstop. I couldnt ever cheat on my partner because i love him too much, and the feelig is mutual. Obviousley everyone makes mistakes-we are all human after all-but an affair is not a mistake-especialley with more than one person...or more than once!
My advice to you is to leave this relationship or give it a FINAlL chance and then leave-and stick to it. You have to give your wife an ultimatum and be determined to stick with your morals-as she frankly doesnt have any.
I am also suspicious as to the fact that this woman may have cheated on you further times than she is admitting. Do you really trust what she says after cheating on you twice?? Also, have you ever cheated on your wife in all honesty and has she forgiven you (if she even found out?) As, if this is the case-perhaps this is her revenge, and you are permantly stuck in this scenario.
It willnot get better unless you leave the relationship or get marriage couselling, as the behaviour will just continue.
I hope you sort things out-you deserve better!
helen xx
2006-06-26 19:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 44 and have been married 21 years I have forgiven my wife several affairs, Even having walked in on the actual physical act twice in one month with two different guys. At the time she had an alcohol problem that she now has under control with regular counselling and medication. and yes we have both been checked out and are S.T.D free
2006-06-26 17:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by nicksmithis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Edward! Once, shame on her. Twice, shame on you. Why? For being a doormat. The first one is always forgivable, anyone can slip up, there are too many reasons for horrid things like that to happen. But twice> More than twice? You really might consider reevaluating your spine. By the way, everyone else, no, that is NOT what marriage is about. I have never considered cheating, not on my best friend, my lover, my confidante. He is the one I wish to protect against all hurt and harm, I could never imagine harming him, myself... no, not even after 10 years... ESPECIALLY not after ten years....
2006-06-26 16:53:59 · answer #4 · answered by lili4ndevil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tried to forgive my wife because we had small children at the time. I didn't want to regret that I didn't try for myself as well as the kids. You'll know in your heart if she's truly sorry or just apeasing you. Her attitude towards you will be evident. That will be the only way you'll regain her trust and be able to forgive her.
I forgave my ex after I divorced her. She married the guy who left his kids with their mom. I wouldn't be his friend as he wished, they deserve each other and I'm cordial towards my ex just so my kids thrive.
2006-06-26 17:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by Hopeful Homeowner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why should over 40's have to forgive???
what about the over 20's and over 30's???
2006-06-26 16:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
will if had to cheat alot iwood ask for has live diffent homes then latter on maybe a drovece
2006-06-26 16:49:19 · answer #7 · answered by dan p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's not your wife anymore, only mistress of others...stop being that idiot, keep high pride/respect of yourself !!! man, go to court then find someone that really love you
2006-06-26 16:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that what marriage is about? Glad I never bought into it
2006-06-26 16:48:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to be forgiven ever
2006-06-26 16:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by mick8751 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋