What causes a child to grow into an introverted adult?

Question

My two older brothers (and myself) are introverted. The most severely introverted is my middle brother. When we were younger we were all pretty extroverted. There is a 15 year difference between all of us. Is it hereditary or is nurturing a cause? ~curious

My parents were very "white bread average" compared to some of my other friends. There was never any real pressure put on us. We were never mentally / physically / emotionally abused. We belong to a large family. ( I have many cousins.) Could it be hereditary?

As of right now, I'm not seeing any real credible 'answers'.

Actually I have a pretty healthy amount of narcissism. ~smiles

Answer 1

I think this is a very good question.

Without a doubt we are born with a certain temprament but the question is why would it change as you grow older?

I was very extroverted as a child and now I'm an introvert. My husband was very introverted as a child and now he is an extrovert. I've seen this pattern in others as well.

I think in some ways, as we grow up, we move to the opposite of what we were born to balance ourselves. It's sort of like, "well, I know this, now I'm going to do something different," but not consciously.

There are pluses and minuses to both extroversion and introversion. It could be that the consquences of being an extrovert or an introvert in childhood moves us to the other end of the scale as an adult. Or, as we get older, we overcome the weaknesses associated with either temperament and learn the value of the other, again moving to the other end of the spectrum.

Who knows, but I certainly relate to your question and experience.

Answer 2

I think it is a combination of heredity and environment. If we have the propensity to be this way and, as we grow up, we are never made to feel good about ourselves we may then have this problem for life.

It is not completely hereditary because you will find both introverted and extroverted children in the same family.

I think the trigger can be caused by your parents not giving you the feeling you are valuable...even though you know they love you...they may not show it when you need it the most.

Another cause would be how you are treated while going through school. It is very easy for kids to pick out other kids that are safe to pick on. It makes them feel good to do it but can be very harmful to the one being picked on.

The biggest problem with this is you will never remember just what it was that caused it. It just became part of you personality.
It is usually formed when you are from 1 to 10 years old.

You see I am introverted and have no idea what caused it. My son is also and I can not tell you why. There never ever was any form of abuse in our family either so it can't be blamed on that.

In many ways I feel blessed. I seem to appreciate people much more than some of those so called normal people. I, perhaps like you, just can't show it.

Answer 3

Is it very serious to the point of being what is referred to as docial phobia? Do you fear others? Are you afraid of what other people think about you?

Being an introvert is not a negative thing unless it disturbs your life. And it is only a problem if it gets in the way of your everyday existence.

So before even asking this question or answering it properly it is essential to look at waht you mean by introverted.

Do you all have low self esteem? Are you all people who think poorly of themselves. Did your parents neglect you? Did your parents show love for each other in front of you? Did they love you? Were they warm to all of you? Did they hug you and play with you?

You need to look at both the family situation and the history opf your family. Furthermore, being introverted is not a mental illness unless it has certain features to it.

And so I honestly could not answer your question properly and nor can anyone else with the very little information provided.

I am not sure if this is deemed a bad or negative thing according to you. There are psychological profiles that can be answered and then analysed by a professional therapist. But the best is when you take the questionnaire, get interviewed and then speak to a doctor/ therapist.

There are some pretty half assed ways to interpret a person's character and I would also say that doctor's like prescribing medication and charging people for therapy sessions.

So I would ask myself this:

Is my introversion causing me to suffer?
Is it getting in my way?
Is it stopping me from doing waht I want?
Is it making me do things to avoid certain situations I deem fearful?

If not than who cares! If so, then seek help form professionals, start with a general practitionaer and get a referral.

Good Luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 4

Wow, it seems to me that you've been through a hard life. I've been through what your talking about; wondering how it is to live a good life, having suicidal thoughts, i've cut before(not sure if you had), but in the end...I'm completely the opposite of you. I'm considered " perfect " by my friends and teachers. I get good grades, I'm in the crowd(im in highschool by the way), I play a sport, I guess you could say I'm well rounded. But all this depression came when I had to move, twice in one year. So I made great friends in my second high school, and I just moved to my third high school like a month ago. I hate it. I try and be strong and surround myself in an environment where people love me. I guess it's hard for you because your parents won't let you socialize, except for the internet. How can they do that though? Life is really unfair sometimes. I think your plan to go to Alaska is a great idea. But think about the consequences. You already realize that your going to be all on your own, so that means paying for everything...unless you parents are planning to pay for some of your expenses. I think that you should talk to your parents. Do you have any aunts/uncles that you could get close to and maybe help you? Any cousins perhaps? I do hope that you don't consider suicide, as I thought of that as the easy way out... but even though I don't know you and I know I'm 3 yearrs younger than you...your better than that. Your living for a reason, don't take away your own life. what I always do is think about the other nations out there that are suffering my genocide and poverty. I dont know about you..but I'm pretty emotional towards that stuff, so all my stress about what I'm going through, is transfered to theirs. I usually change my way of seeing things, that there are other people out there that are suffering more than me. You know what I'm talking about? hopefully I kind of helped, I know I babbled a lot. goodnight!

Answer 5

One factor is a persons intelligence.

There is a correlation between high intelligence and introversion. An extreme example is Einstein ... he was so intelligent that he could not socialize at all and even dropped out of Elementary school ... plus, he couldn't hold a normal job.

My Father's and his brothers also demonstrated this ... the eldest brother has a good IQ --- played football --- was good a being social ::: Then the second brother has an extremely high IQ and is a nuclear scientist ... anyways, he never married, and can't hold a job because of the social duties ... very similar to Einstein ::: Then there is my father who's IQ is in between his brothers ... he's not a social isolationist like the nuclear dude, but he is socially challenged!!!

In short, I'm suggesting that you and your family may have higher IQ's which separate you a bit more from society.

Answer 6

I would say that heredity does seem to affect some in the way that it appears they have inherited the personality trait described as introverted. It could also be explained that the do what they see. Environment can cause all sorts of personality responses. Some people can respond to stimuli in a way that others perceive them as introverts. Yet others can be in the same environment & appear to be extroverts. Others although they feel inferior show the world A person that is gregarious.

Answer 7

I was born that way. I participated in society as expected in by my parents until I graduated college. I have a job and a master's degree...but I can't function in society and I know it, I have known it since I was a kid. I was nurtured and love my family very much. My mom is a bit of an eccentric...but I am not. I think I am fairly normal other than the fact that I like my own ideas and like to do my own thing so much that I rarely get lonely and rarely need the company of others.

There is a book about this called PARTY FOR ONE, a loners manifesto. It is pretty good and while it won't give you an answer as to the etymology of how you came to be the way you are, it discusses the habits of others like you.

Answer 8

I will tell you. I am introverted. If they were anything like me, something just clicked and suddenly you don't see everyone you used to hang around with in the same way anymore. You might be suspicious or disgusted either way. The reason is probably you never really got to know or become really close with any of them or maybe you and your friends just diverged a little in how you see life.

Answer 9

Possibly by awkward social encounters as a child. Maybe you were embarassed or made to feel inferior several times and so you learned to hold your tongue later on. Nothing wrong with being introverted, you just draw more energy and peace from being on your own, or in small social circles than you do from being in large groups.

Answer 10

It's a combination of heredity and response to environment. Chances are you are modelling your parents' behavior.