i am married young and beautiful (they told me)..but i am still always so jealous.Im talking about crazy jealousy like TV MAGAZINES videos...every kind of women...i want to change because i don't want my husband to get sick.
I told himi need more compliments...
SOMEBODY got to tell me how i get rid of my silly jealousy
2006-06-26 09:37:20 · 15 answers · asked by BellA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just need to change the mantra in your head and be actively responsible for your behavior towards your husband. Ask yourself how you would feel if he was doing this to you. You would feel like you were married to an insecure loser. If you continue on this path you will no doubt drive him away or at the very least, into the arms of another woman. Men do not like nagging, if you are obsessed with compliments, he will feel you are being a nag and tune you out. If he is tuning you out audibly he will tune you out in his head too, therefore opening himself up to the possibility of another woman. Or he will say to himself, "hmmm maybe she is not that great." Talk about mixed signals, at once you call yourself beautiful and then on the other hand you beg for compliments. Tell yourself,' he is with me for a reason otherwise why would he still be here?' Fulfill all of your dreams with direct action of your own. Do not rely on others to make you happy. The only person that can make you happy is you.
2006-06-26 09:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by girlfriday 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is insecurity. the more jealous you feel, indicates deep insecurities. Your husband CAN NOT fix this. You have to fix it. It most likely comes from the fact that your parents didn't pay enough attention to you (not uncomon in families). So what you're actually doing is looking at magazines and feeling threatened. You feel that you can't measure up to those women.
You have to understand that you are who you are. SOmeone either wants to be with you or they don't. comparing yourself to everyone is NOT going to change whether or not someone wants to be with you. However, continuing on a jealous streak and feeling threatened WILL push your husband away.
therapy would work wonders for you- just 6 session to help you with your self esteem. It's a life long journey to build self esteem. If someone doesn't grow up with it developing normally, Doctors say it never develops at all. It has to be learned. So that's why I'm suggesting therapy because most people are not able to develop it. It's requires serious knowledge of the human brain and how it functions.
Sorry to get heavy but those are the facts.
2006-06-26 16:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to understand how vain you are.
<< I told himi need more compliments... >> If you are, then why do you need to hear it all the time? You are, and if you know that and are comfortable with it, why isn't that good enough?
Second, recognizing your jealousy shows that you are very insecure (it's a magazine, what are the chances he actually meets that woman). You need to look at yourself in the mirror and realize who you are. If you can't seek therapy. B/c being a beautiful on the inside is far superior than being beautiful on the outside. You already have it on the outside, focus on the inside. Fact is unless he's blind he's going to see pretty women. Just keep in mind that you're the one he wants.
2006-06-26 17:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by King H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have struggled a lot with jealousy myself. It has taken a lot of work on my part to make myself more confident and secure. He picked you didnt he? Dont insult his judgement by insinuating that he would stay with a girl he doesnt want or find attractive. Just the fact that he is with you, as long as hes not abusive, says that he loves you and chose you for a reason. Men are visual creatures, they will still find other women attractive. But as long as hes not obsessing over magazines or other women, then dont worry. Just say yeah, i think that chick is hot too, and drop it. he'll get a laugh out of it, and it will feel good to him and show him that u are secure and trust him. The more u mistrust a guy, the more likely he is to become untrustworthy. If you are secure in him, he will be happy with you. Unless hes a complete jerk, and I'm sure you wouldnt have married a guy like that :) also, if you need more compliments, flat out tell him that. tell him it makes you feel good, and compliment him too. not on his looks, but on things he does well.
2006-06-26 17:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone is jealous to a degree, but it sounds like you're really crazy jealous beyond reason. Don't you trust your husband? You may say that you trust him, but not the other women, then I'd say: but it takes two to tango. There's nothing any other woman can do if he doesn't cooperate.
If you keep it up, he'll end up walking away. Maybe your self-esteem is non-existent or you constantly need approval. Work on it by accomplishing something that you can be proud of. Even the nicest person will eventually get tired of passing out compliments.
Next time, you feel jealous, think about what you'd say if you were an outsider watching yourself.
2006-06-26 16:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get over your unfounded insecurities because:
-You are young
-You are beautiful
-He marry you and not the ones from the tv...
Would your husband be jealous too if you would told him that you had a crush on the Backstreet Boys?
Your problem is that you are inmature and craving his attention.....
You need to be confident, and your man coming home every day should be sufficient reassurance.
Your unreasonable, unfounded and irrational jealuosy can push him away, so please, try , for your marriage sake, to stop picking on stupid stuff.
You so bored that you have to find something to fight about? I bet you, your husband doesn't give you any reason for you to feel this way.
It seems that you are craving attention most of all, and you are trying to get his atttention by fighting over stupid stuff like women on TV... get real. You are inmature, insecure and you are hurting your marriage.
The only advice that I have to tell you is: GROW UP!
2006-06-26 16:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get help and counseling for your jealous problem before it gets out of hand. You need to be secure in the fact that he loves you and that he is with just YOU and no one else. If you stay overly jealous and possesive you just may lose him someday. Trust your husband and let him breathe. He will love you much more this way and respond much better for you. If you squeezy him to hard you will lose him but if you loosen the grip just a little he will love and hold on you much more!
2006-06-26 20:06:52 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, jealousy is an integral part of an woman. You cannot get rid of this problem.
Just be good and help others. Within some time, this problem will subsidize.
2006-07-01 02:04:06 · answer #8 · answered by Sabyasachi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to "get rid" of jealousy. It all comes from your insecurity. You need to establish some value for yourself, so you won't be so insecure. What is it you like to do? What is it you're good at? You need to address those things first. Believe me, your husband will get tired of it, eventually.
2006-06-26 16:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could seek therapy for your insecurities but you may want to get into church and have some prayer. Jealousy is an evil spirit and God doesn't want you to have a spirit of jealousy. You can be delivered from that. Please don't think I'm a nut, check it out for yourself.
2006-07-03 17:06:01 · answer #10 · answered by Samba Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋